章节正文
LADY BRACKNELL. In what locality did this Mr. James, or Thomas,
Cardew come across this ordinary hand-bag?
JACK. In the cloak-room at Victoria Station. It was given to him
in mistake for his own.
LADY BRACKNELL. The cloak-room at Victoria Station?
JACK. Yes. The Brighton line.
LADY BRACKNELL. The line is immaterial. Mr. Worthing, I confess I
feel somewhat bewildered by what you have just told me. To be
born, or at any rate bred, in a hand-bag, whether it had handles or
not, seems to me to display a contempt for the ordinary decencies
of family life that reminds one of the worst excesses of the French
Revolution. And I presume you know what that unfortunate movement
led to? As for the particular locality in which the hand-bag was
found, a cloak-room at a railway station might serve to conceal a
social indiscretion - has probably, indeed, been used for that
purpose before now-but it could hardly be regarded as an assured
basis for a recognised position in good society.
JACK. May I ask you then what you would advise me to do? I need
hardly say I would do anything in the world to ensure Gwendolen's
happiness.
LADY BRACKNELL. I would stronglyadvise you, Mr. Worthing, to try
and acquire some relations as soon as possible, and to make a
definite effort to produce at any rate one parent, of either sex,
before the season is quite over.
JACK. Well, I don't see how I could possibly manage to do that. I
can produce the hand-bag at any moment. It is in my dressing-room
at home. I really think that should satisfy you, Lady Bracknell.
LADY BRACKNELL. Me, sir! What has it to do with me? You can
hardly imagine that I and Lord Bracknell would dream of allowing
our only daughter - a girl brought up with the utmost care - to
marry into a cloak-room, and form an alliance with a parcel? Good
morning, Mr. Worthing!
[LADY BRACKNELL sweeps out in majestic indignation.]
JACK. Good morning! [ALGERNON, from the other room, strikes up
the Wedding March. Jack looks perfectlyfurious, and goes to the
door.] For goodness' sake don't play that ghastly tune, Algy. How
idiotic you are!
[The music stops and ALGERNON enters cheerily.]
ALGERNON. Didn't it go off all right, old boy? You don't mean to
say Gwendolen refused you? I know it is a way she has. She is
always refusing people. I think it is most ill-natured of her.
JACK. Oh, Gwendolen is as right as a trivet. As far as she is
concerned, we are engaged. Her mother is perfectly unbearable.
Never met such a Gorgon . . . I don't really know what a Gorgon is
like, but I am quite sure that Lady Bracknell is one. In any case,
she is a monster, without being a myth, which is rather unfair . .
. I beg your pardon, Algy, I suppose I shouldn't talk about your
own aunt in that way before you.
ALGERNON. My dear boy, I love hearing my relations abused. It is
the only thing that makes me put up with them at all. Relations
are simply a tedious pack of people, who haven't got the remotest
knowledge of how to live, nor the smallest instinct about when to
die.
JACK. Oh, that is nonsense!
ALGERNON. It isn't!
JACK. Well, I won't argue about the matter. You always want to
argue about things.
ALGERNON. That is exactly what things were originally" target="_blank" title="ad.本来；独创地">originally made for.
JACK. Upon my word, if I thought that, I'd shoot myself . . . [A
pause.] You don't think there is any chance of Gwendolen becoming
like her mother in about a hundred and fifty years, do you, Algy?
ALGERNON. All women become like their mothers. That is their
tragedy. No man does. That's his.
JACK. Is that clever?
ALGERNON. It is perfectly phrased! and quite as true as any
observation in civilised life should be.
JACK. I am sick to death of cleverness. Everybody is clever
nowadays. You can't go anywhere without meeting clever people.
The thing has become an absolute public nuisance. I wish to
goodness we had a few fools left.
ALGERNON. We have.
JACK. I should extremely like to meet them. What do they talk
about?
ALGERNON. The fools? Oh! about the clever people, of course.
JACK. What fools!
ALGERNON. By the way, did you tell Gwendolen the truth about your
being Ernest in town, and Jack in the country?
JACK. [In a very patronising manner.] My dear fellow, the truth
isn't quite the sort of thing one tells to a nice, sweet, refined
girl. What extraordinary ideas you have about the way to behave to
a woman!
ALGERNON. The only way to behave to a woman is to make love to
her, if she is pretty, and to some one else, if she is plain.
JACK. Oh, that is nonsense.
ALGERNON. What about your brother? What about the profligate
Ernest?
JACK. Oh, before the end of the week I shall have got rid of him.
I'll say he died in Paris of apoplexy. Lots of people die of
apoplexy, quite suddenly, don't they?
ALGERNON. Yes, but it's hereditary, my dear fellow. It's a sort
of thing that runs in families. You had much better say a severe
chill.
JACK. You are sure a severe chill isn't hereditary, or anything of
that kind?
ALGERNON. Of course it isn't!
JACK. Very well, then. My poor brother Ernest to carried off
suddenly, in Paris, by a severe chill. That gets rid of him.
ALGERNON. But I thought you said that . . . Miss Cardew was a
little too much interested in your poor brother Ernest? Won't she
feel his loss a good deal?
JACK. Oh, that is all right. Cecily is not a silly romantic girl,
I am glad to say. She has got a capital appetite, goes long walks,
and pays no attention at all to her lessons.
ALGERNON. I would rather like to see Cecily.
JACK. I will take very good care you never do. She is excessively
pretty, and she is only just eighteen.
ALGERNON. Have you told Gwendolen yet that you have an excessively
pretty ward who is only just eighteen?
JACK. Oh! one doesn't blurt these things out to people. Cecily
and Gwendolen are perfectly certain to be extremely great friends.
I'll bet you anything you like that half an hour after they have
met, they will be calling each other sister.
ALGERNON. Women only do that when they have called each other a
lot of other things first. Now, my dear boy, if we want to get a
good table at Willis's, we really must go and dress. Do you know
it is nearly seven?
JACK. [Irritably.] Oh! It always is nearly seven.
ALGERNON. Well, I'm hungry.
JACK. I never knew you when you weren't . . .
ALGERNON. What shall we do after dinner? Go to a theatre?
JACK. Oh no! I loathe listening.
ALGERNON. Well, let us go to the Club?
JACK. Oh, no! I hate talking.
ALGERNON. Well, we might trot round to the Empire at ten?
JACK. Oh, no! I can't bear looking at things. It is so silly.
ALGERNON. Well, what shall we do?
JACK. Nothing!
ALGERNON. It is awfully hard work doing nothing. However, I don't
mind hard work where there is no definite object of any kind.
[Enter LANE.]
LANE. Miss Fairfax.
[Enter GWENDOLEN. LANE goes out.]
ALGERNON. Gwendolen, upon my word!
GWENDOLEN. Algy, kindly turn your back. I have something very
particular to say to Mr. Worthing.
ALGERNON. Really, Gwendolen, I don't think I can allow this at
all.
GWENDOLEN. Algy, you always adopt a strictly immoral attitude
towards life. You are not quite old enough to do that. [ALGERNON
retires to the fireplace.]
JACK. My own darling!
GWENDOLEN. Ernest, we may never be married. From the expression
on mamma's face I fear we never shall. Few parents nowadays pay
any regard to what their children say to them. The old-fashioned
respect for the young is fast dying out. Whatever influence I ever
had over mamma, I lost at the age of three. But although she may
prevent us from becoming man and wife, and I may marry some one
else, and marry often, nothing that she can possibly do can alter
my eternaldevotion to you.
JACK. Dear Gwendolen!
GWENDOLEN. The story of your romanticorigin, as related to me by
mamma, with unpleasing comments, has naturally stirred the deeper
fibres of my nature. Your Christian name has an irresistible
fascination. The simplicity of your character makes you
exquisitely incomprehensible to me. Your town address at the
Albany I have. What is your address in the country?
JACK. The Manor House, Woolton, Hertfordshire.
[ALGERNON, who has been carefully listening, smiles to himself, and
writes the address on his shirt-cuff. Then picks up the Railway
Guide.]
GWENDOLEN. There is a good postal service, I suppose? It may be
necessary to do something desperate. That of course will require
serious consideration. I will communicate with you daily.
JACK. My own one!
GWENDOLEN. How long do you remain in town?
JACK. Till Monday.
GWENDOLEN. Good! Algy, you may turn round now.
ALGERNON. Thanks, I've turned round already.
GWENDOLEN. You may also ring the bell.
JACK. You will let me see you to your carriage, my own darling?
GWENDOLEN. Certainly.
JACK. [To LANE, who now enters.] I will see Miss Fairfax out.
LANE. Yes, sir. [JACK and GWENDOLEN go off.]
[LANE presents several letters on a salver to ALGERNON. It is to
be surmised that they are bills, as ALGERNON, after looking at the
envelopes, tears them up.]
ALGERNON. A glass of sherry, Lane.
LANE. Yes, sir.
ALGERNON. To-morrow, Lane, I'm going Bunburying.
LANE. Yes, sir.
ALGERNON. I shall probably not be back till Monday. You can put
up my dress clothes, my smoking jacket, and all the Bunbury suits .
. .
LANE. Yes, sir. [Handing sherry.]
ALGERNON. I hope to-morrow will be a fine day, Lane.
LANE. It never is, sir.
ALGERNON. Lane, you're a perfect pessimist.
LANE. I do my best to give satisfaction, sir.
[Enter JACK. LANE goes off.]
JACK. There's a sensible, intellectual girl! the only girl I ever
cared for in my life. [ALGERNON is laughing immoderately.] What
on earth are you so amused at?
ALGERNON. Oh, I'm a little anxious about poor Bunbury, that in
all.
JACK. If you don't take care, your friend Bunbury will get you
into a serious scrape some day.
ALGERNON. I love scrapes. They are the only things that are never
serious.
JACK. Oh, that's nonsense, Algy. You never talk anything but
nonsense.
ALGERNON. Nobody ever does.
Cardew come across this ordinary hand-bag?
JACK. In the cloak-room at Victoria Station. It was given to him
in mistake for his own.
LADY BRACKNELL. The cloak-room at Victoria Station?
JACK. Yes. The Brighton line.
LADY BRACKNELL. The line is immaterial. Mr. Worthing, I confess I
feel somewhat bewildered by what you have just told me. To be
born, or at any rate bred, in a hand-bag, whether it had handles or
not, seems to me to display a contempt for the ordinary decencies
of family life that reminds one of the worst excesses of the French
Revolution. And I presume you know what that unfortunate movement
led to? As for the particular locality in which the hand-bag was
found, a cloak-room at a railway station might serve to conceal a
social indiscretion - has probably, indeed, been used for that
purpose before now-but it could hardly be regarded as an assured
basis for a recognised position in good society.
JACK. May I ask you then what you would advise me to do? I need
hardly say I would do anything in the world to ensure Gwendolen's
happiness.
LADY BRACKNELL. I would stronglyadvise you, Mr. Worthing, to try
and acquire some relations as soon as possible, and to make a
definite effort to produce at any rate one parent, of either sex,
before the season is quite over.
JACK. Well, I don't see how I could possibly manage to do that. I
can produce the hand-bag at any moment. It is in my dressing-room
at home. I really think that should satisfy you, Lady Bracknell.
LADY BRACKNELL. Me, sir! What has it to do with me? You can
hardly imagine that I and Lord Bracknell would dream of allowing
our only daughter - a girl brought up with the utmost care - to
marry into a cloak-room, and form an alliance with a parcel? Good
morning, Mr. Worthing!
[LADY BRACKNELL sweeps out in majestic indignation.]
JACK. Good morning! [ALGERNON, from the other room, strikes up
the Wedding March. Jack looks perfectlyfurious, and goes to the
door.] For goodness' sake don't play that ghastly tune, Algy. How
idiotic you are!
[The music stops and ALGERNON enters cheerily.]
ALGERNON. Didn't it go off all right, old boy? You don't mean to
say Gwendolen refused you? I know it is a way she has. She is
always refusing people. I think it is most ill-natured of her.
JACK. Oh, Gwendolen is as right as a trivet. As far as she is
concerned, we are engaged. Her mother is perfectly unbearable.
Never met such a Gorgon . . . I don't really know what a Gorgon is
like, but I am quite sure that Lady Bracknell is one. In any case,
she is a monster, without being a myth, which is rather unfair . .
. I beg your pardon, Algy, I suppose I shouldn't talk about your
own aunt in that way before you.
ALGERNON. My dear boy, I love hearing my relations abused. It is
the only thing that makes me put up with them at all. Relations
are simply a tedious pack of people, who haven't got the remotest
knowledge of how to live, nor the smallest instinct about when to
die.
JACK. Oh, that is nonsense!
ALGERNON. It isn't!
JACK. Well, I won't argue about the matter. You always want to
argue about things.
ALGERNON. That is exactly what things were originally" target="_blank" title="ad.本来；独创地">originally made for.
JACK. Upon my word, if I thought that, I'd shoot myself . . . [A
pause.] You don't think there is any chance of Gwendolen becoming
like her mother in about a hundred and fifty years, do you, Algy?
ALGERNON. All women become like their mothers. That is their
tragedy. No man does. That's his.
JACK. Is that clever?
ALGERNON. It is perfectly phrased! and quite as true as any
observation in civilised life should be.
JACK. I am sick to death of cleverness. Everybody is clever
nowadays. You can't go anywhere without meeting clever people.
The thing has become an absolute public nuisance. I wish to
goodness we had a few fools left.
ALGERNON. We have.
JACK. I should extremely like to meet them. What do they talk
about?
ALGERNON. The fools? Oh! about the clever people, of course.
JACK. What fools!
ALGERNON. By the way, did you tell Gwendolen the truth about your
being Ernest in town, and Jack in the country?
JACK. [In a very patronising manner.] My dear fellow, the truth
isn't quite the sort of thing one tells to a nice, sweet, refined
girl. What extraordinary ideas you have about the way to behave to
a woman!
ALGERNON. The only way to behave to a woman is to make love to
her, if she is pretty, and to some one else, if she is plain.
JACK. Oh, that is nonsense.
ALGERNON. What about your brother? What about the profligate
Ernest?
JACK. Oh, before the end of the week I shall have got rid of him.
I'll say he died in Paris of apoplexy. Lots of people die of
apoplexy, quite suddenly, don't they?
ALGERNON. Yes, but it's hereditary, my dear fellow. It's a sort
of thing that runs in families. You had much better say a severe
chill.
JACK. You are sure a severe chill isn't hereditary, or anything of
that kind?
ALGERNON. Of course it isn't!
JACK. Very well, then. My poor brother Ernest to carried off
suddenly, in Paris, by a severe chill. That gets rid of him.
ALGERNON. But I thought you said that . . . Miss Cardew was a
little too much interested in your poor brother Ernest? Won't she
feel his loss a good deal?
JACK. Oh, that is all right. Cecily is not a silly romantic girl,
I am glad to say. She has got a capital appetite, goes long walks,
and pays no attention at all to her lessons.
ALGERNON. I would rather like to see Cecily.
JACK. I will take very good care you never do. She is excessively
pretty, and she is only just eighteen.
ALGERNON. Have you told Gwendolen yet that you have an excessively
pretty ward who is only just eighteen?
JACK. Oh! one doesn't blurt these things out to people. Cecily
and Gwendolen are perfectly certain to be extremely great friends.
I'll bet you anything you like that half an hour after they have
met, they will be calling each other sister.
ALGERNON. Women only do that when they have called each other a
lot of other things first. Now, my dear boy, if we want to get a
good table at Willis's, we really must go and dress. Do you know
it is nearly seven?
JACK. [Irritably.] Oh! It always is nearly seven.
ALGERNON. Well, I'm hungry.
JACK. I never knew you when you weren't . . .
ALGERNON. What shall we do after dinner? Go to a theatre?
JACK. Oh no! I loathe listening.
ALGERNON. Well, let us go to the Club?
JACK. Oh, no! I hate talking.
ALGERNON. Well, we might trot round to the Empire at ten?
JACK. Oh, no! I can't bear looking at things. It is so silly.
ALGERNON. Well, what shall we do?
JACK. Nothing!
ALGERNON. It is awfully hard work doing nothing. However, I don't
mind hard work where there is no definite object of any kind.
[Enter LANE.]
LANE. Miss Fairfax.
[Enter GWENDOLEN. LANE goes out.]
ALGERNON. Gwendolen, upon my word!
GWENDOLEN. Algy, kindly turn your back. I have something very
particular to say to Mr. Worthing.
ALGERNON. Really, Gwendolen, I don't think I can allow this at
all.
GWENDOLEN. Algy, you always adopt a strictly immoral attitude
towards life. You are not quite old enough to do that. [ALGERNON
retires to the fireplace.]
JACK. My own darling!
GWENDOLEN. Ernest, we may never be married. From the expression
on mamma's face I fear we never shall. Few parents nowadays pay
any regard to what their children say to them. The old-fashioned
respect for the young is fast dying out. Whatever influence I ever
had over mamma, I lost at the age of three. But although she may
prevent us from becoming man and wife, and I may marry some one
else, and marry often, nothing that she can possibly do can alter
my eternaldevotion to you.
JACK. Dear Gwendolen!
GWENDOLEN. The story of your romanticorigin, as related to me by
mamma, with unpleasing comments, has naturally stirred the deeper
fibres of my nature. Your Christian name has an irresistible
fascination. The simplicity of your character makes you
exquisitely incomprehensible to me. Your town address at the
Albany I have. What is your address in the country?
JACK. The Manor House, Woolton, Hertfordshire.
[ALGERNON, who has been carefully listening, smiles to himself, and
writes the address on his shirt-cuff. Then picks up the Railway
Guide.]
GWENDOLEN. There is a good postal service, I suppose? It may be
necessary to do something desperate. That of course will require
serious consideration. I will communicate with you daily.
JACK. My own one!
GWENDOLEN. How long do you remain in town?
JACK. Till Monday.
GWENDOLEN. Good! Algy, you may turn round now.
ALGERNON. Thanks, I've turned round already.
GWENDOLEN. You may also ring the bell.
JACK. You will let me see you to your carriage, my own darling?
GWENDOLEN. Certainly.
JACK. [To LANE, who now enters.] I will see Miss Fairfax out.
LANE. Yes, sir. [JACK and GWENDOLEN go off.]
[LANE presents several letters on a salver to ALGERNON. It is to
be surmised that they are bills, as ALGERNON, after looking at the
envelopes, tears them up.]
ALGERNON. A glass of sherry, Lane.
LANE. Yes, sir.
ALGERNON. To-morrow, Lane, I'm going Bunburying.
LANE. Yes, sir.
ALGERNON. I shall probably not be back till Monday. You can put
up my dress clothes, my smoking jacket, and all the Bunbury suits .
. .
LANE. Yes, sir. [Handing sherry.]
ALGERNON. I hope to-morrow will be a fine day, Lane.
LANE. It never is, sir.
ALGERNON. Lane, you're a perfect pessimist.
LANE. I do my best to give satisfaction, sir.
[Enter JACK. LANE goes off.]
JACK. There's a sensible, intellectual girl! the only girl I ever
cared for in my life. [ALGERNON is laughing immoderately.] What
on earth are you so amused at?
ALGERNON. Oh, I'm a little anxious about poor Bunbury, that in
all.
JACK. If you don't take care, your friend Bunbury will get you
into a serious scrape some day.
ALGERNON. I love scrapes. They are the only things that are never
serious.
JACK. Oh, that's nonsense, Algy. You never talk anything but
nonsense.
ALGERNON. Nobody ever does.
- confess [kən´fes]
vt.供认；坦白；承认 (初中英语单词) - unfortunate [ʌn´fɔ:tʃunit] a.不幸的，运气差的 (初中英语单词)
- conceal [kən´si:l] vt.藏；隐瞒 (初中英语单词)
- advise [əd´vaiz] vt.忠告；建议；通知 (初中英语单词)
- strongly [´strɔŋli] ad.强烈地；强有力地 (初中英语单词)
- acquire [ə´kwaiə] vt.求得，获得，学得 (初中英语单词)
- utmost [´ʌtməust] a.最大的 n.极端 (初中英语单词)
- alliance [ə´laiəns] n.联盟；同盟 (初中英语单词)
- parcel [´pɑ:sl] n.包裹；一批 vt.区分 (初中英语单词)
- wedding [´wediŋ] n.婚礼，结婚 (初中英语单词)
- furious [´fjuəriəs] a.狂怒的；猛烈的 (初中英语单词)
- monster [´mɔnstə] n.怪物 a.大得异常的 (初中英语单词)
- pardon [´pɑ:dən] n.&vt.原谅；饶恕；赦免 (初中英语单词)
- instinct [´instiŋkt] n.本能；直觉；天资 (初中英语单词)
- anywhere [´eniweə] ad.无论何处；任何地方 (初中英语单词)
- absolute [´æbsəlu:t] a.绝对的 n.绝对 (初中英语单词)
- extremely [ik´stri:mli] ad.极端地；非常地 (初中英语单词)
- extraordinary [ik´strɔ:dinəri] a.非常的；额外的 (初中英语单词)
- behave [bi´heiv] v.举止；表现；举止端正 (初中英语单词)
- severe [si´viə] a.严厉的；苛刻的 (初中英语单词)
- romantic [rəu´mæntik] a.传奇(式)的；浪漫的 (初中英语单词)
- appetite [´æpitait] n.欲望；食欲 (初中英语单词)
- definite [´definit] a.确定的，明确的 (初中英语单词)
- whatever [wɔt´evə] pron.&a.无论什么 (初中英语单词)
- eternal [i´tə:nəl] a.永远的；永恒的 (初中英语单词)
- devotion [di´vəuʃən] n.献身；忠诚；热爱 (初中英语单词)
- origin [´ɔridʒin] n.起源；由来；出身 (初中英语单词)
- character [´kæriktə] n.特性；性质；人物；字 (初中英语单词)
- desperate [´despərit] a.拼死的；绝望的 (初中英语单词)
- consideration [kən,sidə´reiʃən] n.考虑；原因；体谅 (初中英语单词)
- carriage [´kæridʒ] n.马车；客车；货运 (初中英语单词)
- jacket [´dʒækit] n.茄克衫；外套 (初中英语单词)
- satisfaction [,sætis´fækʃən] n.满意；满足 (初中英语单词)
- sensible [´sensəbəl] a.感觉得到的 (初中英语单词)
- anxious [´æŋkʃəs] a.担忧的；渴望的 (初中英语单词)
- locality [ləu´kæliti] n.位置，地区，发生地 (高中英语单词)
- contempt [kən´tempt] n.轻蔑；受辱；不顾 (高中英语单词)
- presume [pri´zju:m] v.假定；推测；以为 (高中英语单词)
- majestic [mə´dʒestik] a.雄伟的；崇高的 (高中英语单词)
- perfectly [´pə:fiktli] ad.理想地；完美地 (高中英语单词)
- ghastly [´gɑ:stli] a.苍白的；可怕的 (高中英语单词)
- hearing [´hiəriŋ] n.听力；听证会；审讯 (高中英语单词)
- originally [ə´ridʒənəli] ad.本来；独创地 (高中英语单词)
- nuisance [´nju:səns] n.损害；讨厌的人(事) (高中英语单词)
- awfully [´ɔ:fuli] ad.令人畏惧地 (高中英语单词)
- strictly [´striktli] ad.严格地 (高中英语单词)
- related [ri´leitid] a.叙述的；有联系的 (高中英语单词)
- simplicity [sim´plisiti] n.简单；朴素 (高中英语单词)
- postal [´pəustl] a.邮政的 n.明信片 (高中英语单词)
- communicate [kə´mju:nikeit] vi.通讯；传达；传播 (高中英语单词)
- intellectual [,inti´lektʃuəl] n.知识分子 (高中英语单词)
- nonsense [´nɔnsəns] n.胡说 int.胡说!废话 (高中英语单词)
- unfair [ʌn´feə] a.不公平的；不正直的 (英语四级单词)
- tedious [´ti:diəs] a.冗长的；乏味的 (英语四级单词)
- hereditary [hi´reditəri] a.遗传的；世袭的 (英语四级单词)
- loathe [ləuð] vt.厌恶，嫌恶 (英语四级单词)
- scrape [skreip] v.&n.刮，削，擦；搔 (英语四级单词)
- calling [´kɔ:liŋ] n.点名；职业；欲望 (英语六级单词)
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