Toad, of all the
trying animals--I wonder you manage to keep any
friends at all!'
The Toad saw at once how wrongly and
foolishly he had acted. He
admitted his errors and wrong-headedness and made a full apology
to Rat for losing his boat and spoiling his clothes. And he
wound up by
saying, with that frank self-surrender which always
disarmed his friend's
criticism and won them back to his side,
`Ratty! I see that I have been a headstrong and a wilful Toad!
Henceforth, believe me, I will be
humble and submissive, and will
take no action without your kind advice and full approval!'
`If that is really so,' said the
good-natured Rat, already
appeased, `then my advice to you is,
considering the lateness of
the hour, to sit down and have your supper, which will be on the
table in a minute, and be very patient. For I am convinced that
we can do nothing until we have seen the Mole and the Badger, and
heard their latest news, and held
conference and taken their
advice in this difficult matter.'
`Oh, ah, yes, of course, the Mole and the Badger,' said Toad,
lightly. `What's become of them, the dear fellows? I had
forgotten all about them.'
`Well may you ask!' said the Rat reproachfully. `While you were
riding about the country in
expensive motor-cars, and galloping
proudly on blood-horses, and breakfasting on the fat of the land,
those two poor
devoted animals have been camping out in the open,
in every sort of weather, living very rough by day and lying very
hard by night; watching over your house, patrolling your
boundaries, keeping a
constant eye on the stoats and the weasels,
scheming and planning and contriving how to get your property
back for you. You don't
deserve to have such true and loyal
friends, Toad, you don't, really. Some day, when it's too late,
you'll be sorry you didn't value them more while you had them!'
`I'm an ungrateful beast, I know,' sobbed Toad, shedding bitter
tears. `Let me go out and find them, out into the cold, dark
night, and share their hardships, and try and prove by----Hold on
a bit! Surely I heard the chink of dishes on a tray! Supper's
here at last, hooray! Come on, Ratty!'
The Rat remembered that poor Toad had been on prison fare
for a
considerable time, and that large allowances had therefore
to be made. He followed him to the table
accordingly, and
hospitably encouraged him in his
gallant efforts to make up for
past privations.
They had just finished their meal and resumed their arm-chairs,
when there came a heavy knock at the door.
Toad was
nervous, but the Rat, nodding
mysteriously at him, went
straight up to the door and opened it, and in walked Mr. Badger.
He had all the appearance of one who for some nights had been
kept away from home and all its little comforts and conveniences.
His shoes were covered with mud, and he was looking very rough
and touzled; but then he had never been a very smart man, the
Badger, at the best of times. He came
solemnly up to Toad, shook
him by the paw, and said, `Welcome home, Toad! Alas! what am I
saying? Home, indeed! This is a poor home-coming. Unhappy
Toad!' Then he turned his back on him, sat down to the table,
drew his chair up, and helped himself to a large slice of cold
pie.
Toad was quite alarmed at this very serious and portentous style
of greeting; but the Rat whispered to him, `Never mind;
don't take any notice; and don't say anything to him just yet.
He's always rather low and despondent when he's
wanting his
victuals. In half an hour's time he'll be quite a different
animal.'
So they waited in silence, and
presently there came another and a
lighter knock. The Rat, with a nod to Toad, went to the door and
ushered in the Mole, very
shabby and unwashed, with bits of hay
and straw sticking in his fur.
`Hooray! Here's old Toad!' cried the Mole, his face beaming.
`Fancy having you back again!' And he began to dance round him.
`We never dreamt you would turn up so soon! Why, you must have
managed to escape, you clever,
ingenious,
intelligent Toad!'
The Rat, alarmed, pulled him by the elbow; but it was too late.
Toad was puffing and swelling already.
`Clever? O, no!' he said. `I'm not really clever, according to
my friends. I've only broken out of the strongest prison in
England, that's all! And captured a railway train and escaped on
it, that's all! And
disguised myself and gone about the country
humbugging everybody, that's all! O, no! I'm a
stupid ass,
I am! I'll tell you one or two of my little adventures, Mole,
and you shall judge for yourself!'
`Well, well,' said the Mole, moving towards the supper-table;
`supposing you talk while I eat. Not a bite since breakfast! O
my! O my!' And he sat down and helped himself liberally to cold
beef and pickles.
Toad straddled on the hearth-rug,
thrust his paw into his
trouser-pocket and pulled out a
handful of silver. `Look at
that!' he cried, displaying it. `That's not so bad, is it, for a
few minutes' work? And how do you think I done it, Mole? Horse-
dealing! That's how I done it!'
`Go on, Toad,' said the Mole,
immensely interested.
`Toad, do be quiet, please!' said the Rat. `And don't you egg
him on, Mole, when you know what he is; but please tell us as
soon as possible what the position is, and what's best to be
done, now that Toad is back at last.'
`The position's about as bad as it can be,' replied the Mole
grumpily; `and as for what's to be done, why, blest if I know!
The Badger and I have been round and round the place, by
night and by day; always the same thing. Sentries posted
everywhere, guns poked out at us, stones thrown at us; always an
animal on the look-out, and when they see us, my! how they do
laugh! That's what annoys me most!'
`It's a very difficult situation,' said the Rat, reflecting
deeply. `But I think I see now, in the depths of my mind, what
Toad really ought to do. I will tell you. He ought to----'
`No, he oughtn't!' shouted the Mole, with his mouth full.
`Nothing of the sort! You don't understand. What he ought to do
is, he ought to----'
`Well, I shan't do it, anyway!' cried Toad, getting excited.
`I'm not going to be ordered about by you fellows! It's my house
we're talking about, and I know exactly what to do, and I'll tell
you. I'm going to----'
By this time they were all three talking at once, at the top of
their voices, and the noise was simply deafening, when a thin,
dry voice made itself heard,
saying, `Be quiet at once, all of
you!' and
instantly every one was silent.
It was the Badger, who, having finished his pie, had turned round
in his chair and was looking at them
severely. When he saw that
he had secured their attention, and that they were evidently
waiting for him to address them, he turned back to the table
again and reached out for the
cheese. And so great was the
respect commanded by the solid qualities of that admirable
animal, that not another word was uttered until he had quite
finished his
repast and brushed the crumbs from his knees. The
Toad fidgeted a good deal, but the Rat held him
firmly down.
When the Badger had quite done, he got up from his seat and stood
before the
fireplace, reflecting deeply. At last he spoke.
`Toad!' he said
severely. `You bad, troublesome little animal!
Aren't you
ashamed of youself? What do you think your father, my
old friend, would have said if he had been here to-night, and had
known of all your goings on?'
Toad, who was on the sofa by this time, with his legs up, rolled
over on his face,
shaken by sobs of contrition.
`There, there!' went on the Badger, more kindly. `Never mind.
Stop crying. We're going to let bygones be bygones, and try and
turn over a new leaf. But what the Mole says is quite true. The
stoats are on guard, at every point, and they make the best
sentinels in the world. It's quite
useless to think of attacking
the place. They're too strong for us.'
`Then it's all over,' sobbed the Toad, crying into the sofa
cushions. `I shall go and
enlist for a soldier, and never see my
dear Toad Hall any more!'
`Come, cheer up, Toady!' said the Badger. `There are more ways
of getting back a place than
taking it by storm. I haven't said
my last word yet. Now I'm going to tell you a great secret.'
Toad sat up slowly and dried his eyes. Secrets had an immense
attraction for him, because he never could keep one, and he
enjoyed the sort of unhallowed
thrill he
experienced when he went
and told another animal, after having
faithfully promised not to.
`There--is--an--underground--passage,' said the Badger,
impressively, `that leads from the river-bank, quite near here,
right up into the middle of Toad Hall.'
`O, nonsense! Badger,' said Toad, rather airily. `You've been
listening to some of the yarns they spin in the public-houses
about here. I know every inch of Toad Hall, inside and out.
Nothing of the sort, I do assure you!'
`My young friend,' said the Badger, with great
severity, `your
father, who was a
worthy animal--a lot worthier than some others
I know--was a particular friend of mine, and told me a great deal
he wouldn't have dreamt of telling you. He discovered that
passage--he didn't make it, of course; that was done hundreds of
years before he ever came to live there--and he repaired it and
cleaned it out, because he thought it might come in useful some
day, in case of trouble or danger; and he showed it to me.
"Don't let my son know about it," he said. "He's a good boy, but
very light and volatile in
character, and simply cannot hold his
tongue. If he's ever in a real fix, and it would be of use to
him, you may tell him about the secret passage; but not before."'
The other animals looked hard at Toad to see how he would take
it. Toad was inclined to be sulky at first; but he brightened up
immediately, like the good fellow he was.
`Well, well,' he said; `perhaps I am a bit of a
talker. A
popular fellow such as I am--my friends get round me--we chaff,
we
sparkle, we tell witty stories--and somehow my tongue
gets wagging. I have the gift of conversation. I've been told I
ought to have a salon,
whatever that may be. Never mind. Go
on, Badger. How's this passage of yours going to help us?'
`I've found out a thing or two lately,' continued the Badger. `I
got Otter to
disguise himself as a sweep and call at the back-
door with brushes over his shoulder, asking for a job. There's
going to be a big
banquet to-morrow night. It's somebody's
birthday--the Chief Weasel's, I believe--and all the weasels will
be gathered together in the dining-hall, eating and drinking and
laughing and carrying on, suspecting nothing. No guns, no
swords, no sticks, no arms of any sort
whatever!'
`But the sentinels will be posted as usual,' remarked the Rat.
`Exactly,' said the Badger; `that is my point. The weasels will
trust entirely to their excellent sentinels. And that is where
the passage comes in. That very useful
tunnel leads right up
under the butler's
pantry, next to the dining-hall!'
`Aha! that squeaky board in the butler's
pantry!' said Toad.
`Now I understand it!'
`We shall creep out quietly into the butler's
pantry--' cried the
Mole.
`--with our pistols and swords and sticks--' shouted the Rat.
`--and rush in upon them,' said the Badger.
`--and whack 'em, and whack 'em, and whack 'em!' cried the Toad
in
ecstasy,
running round and round the room, and jumping over
the chairs
`Very well, then,' said the Badger, resuming his usual dry
manner, `our plan is settled, and there's nothing more for you to
argue and squabble about. So, as it's getting very late, all of
you go right off to bed at once. We will make all the necessary
arrangements in the course of the morning to-morrow.'