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SHALL be left behind!'

But Toad whimpered, and the other two promised that they would be
answerable for his good conduct, and at last the Badger was

pacified, and the procession moved on; only this time the Rat
brought up the rear, with a firm grip on the shoulder of Toad.

So they groped and shuffled along, with their ears pricked up and
their paws on their pistols, till at last the Badger said, `We

ought by now to be pretty nearly under the Hall.'
Then suddenly they heard, far away as it might be, and yet

apparently nearly over their heads, a confused murmur of sound,
as if people were shouting and cheering and stamping on the floor

and hammering on tables. The Toad's nervousterrors all
returned, but the Badger only remarked placidly, `They ARE

going it, the Weasels!'
The passage now began to slope upwards; they groped onward a

little further, and then the noise broke out again, quite
distinct this time, and very close above them. `Ooo-ray-ooray-

oo-ray-ooray!' they heard, and the stamping of little feet on the
floor, and the clinking of glasses as little fists pounded on the

table. `WHAT a time they're having!' said the Badger. `Come
on!' They hurried along the passage till it came to a full stop,

and they found themselves standing under the trap-door that
led up into the butler's pantry.

Such a tremendous noise was going on in the banqueting-hall that
there was little danger of their being overheard. The Badger

said, `Now, boys, all together!' and the four of them put their
shoulders to the trap-door and heaved it back. Hoisting each

other up, they found themselves standing in the pantry, with only
a door between them and the banqueting-hall, where their

unconscious enemies were carousing.
The noise, as they emerged from the passage, was simply

deafening. At last, as the cheering and hammering slowly
subsided, a voice could be made out saying, `Well, I do not

propose to detain you much longer'--(great applause)--`but before
I resume my seat'--(renewed cheering)--`I should like to say one

word about our kind host, Mr. Toad. We all know Toad!'--(great
laughter)--`GOOD Toad, MODEST Toad, HONEST Toad!'

(shrieks of merriment).
`Only just let me get at him!' muttered Toad, grinding his teeth.

`Hold hard a minute!' said the Badger, restraining him with
difficulty. `Get ready, all of you!'

`--Let me sing you a little song,' went on the voice, `which I
have composed on the subject of Toad'--(prolonged applause).

Then the Chief Weasel--for it was he--began in a high, squeaky
voice--

`Toad he went a-pleasuring
Gaily down the street--'

The Badger drew himself up, took a firm grip of his stick with
both paws, glanced round at his comrades, and cried--

`The hour is come! Follow me!'
And flung the door open wide.

My!
What a squealing and a squeaking and a screeching filled the air!

Well might the terrified weasels dive under the tables and spring
madly up at the windows! Well might the ferrets rush wildly for

the fireplace and get hopelessly jammed in the chimney! Well
might tables and chairs be upset, and glass and china be sent

crashing on the floor, in the panic of that terrible moment when
the four Heroes strode wrathfully into the room! The mighty

Badger, his whiskers bristling, his great cudgel whistling
through the air; Mole, black and grim, brandishing his stick and

shouting his awful war-cry, `A Mole! A Mole!' Rat; desperate
and determined, his belt bulging with weapons of every age and

every variety; Toad, frenzied with excitement and injured pride,
swollen to twice his ordinary size, leaping into the air and

emitting Toad-whoops that chilled them to the marrow! `Toad he
went a-pleasuring!' he yelled. `I'LL pleasure 'em!' and he

went straight for the Chief Weasel. They were but four in all,
but to the panic-stricken weasels the hall seemed full of

monstrous animals, grey, black, brown and yellow, whooping and
flourishing enormouscudgels; and they broke and fled with

squeals of terror and dismay, this way and that, through the
windows, up the chimney, anywhere to get out of reach of those

terrible sticks.
The affair was soon over. Up and down, the whole length of the

hall, strode the four Friends, whacking with their sticks at
every head that showed itself; and in five minutes the room was

cleared. Through the broken windows the shrieks of terrified
weasels escaping across the lawn were borne faintly to their

ears; on the floor lay prostrate some dozen or so of the enemy,
on whom the Mole was busily engaged in fitting handcuffs. The

Badger, resting from his labours, leant on his stick and wiped
his honest brow.

`Mole,' he said,' `you're the best of fellows! Just cut along
outside and look after those stoat-sentries of yours, and see

what they're doing. I've an idea that, thanks to you, we shan't
have much trouble from them to-night!'

The Mole vanished promptly through a window; and the Badger bade
the other two set a table on its legs again, pick up knives and

forks and plates and glasses from the debris on the floor, and
see if they could find materials for a supper. `I want some

grub, I do,' he said, in that rather common way he had of
speaking. `Stir your stumps, Toad, and look lively! We've got

your house back for you, and you don't offer us so much as a
sandwich.' Toad felt rather hurt that the Badger didn't say

pleasant things to him, as he had to the Mole, and tell him what
a fine fellow he was, and how splendidly he had fought; for he

was rather particularly pleased with himself and the way he had
gone for the Chief Weasel and sent him flying across the

table with one blow of his stick. But he bustled about, and so
did the Rat, and soon they found some guava jelly in a glass

dish, and a cold chicken, a tongue that had hardly been touched,
some trifle, and quite a lot of lobster salad; and in the pantry

they came upon a basketful of French rolls and any quantity of
cheese, butter, and celery. They were just about to sit down

when the Mole clambered in through the window, chuckling, with an
armful of rifles.

`It's all over,' he reported. `From what I can make out, as soon
as the stoats, who were very nervous and jumpy already, heard the

shrieks and the yells and the uproar inside the hall, some of
them threw down their rifles and fled. The others stood fast for

a bit, but when the weasels came rushing out upon them they
thought they were betrayed; and the stoats grappled with the

weasels, and the weasels fought to get away, and they wrestled
and wriggled and punched each other, and rolled over and over,

till most of 'em rolled into the river! They've all disappeared
by now, one way or another; and I've got their rifles. So that's

all right!'
`Excellent and deserving animal!' said the Badger, his mouth full

of chicken and trifle. `Now, there's just one more thing I want
you to do, Mole, before you sit down to your supper along of us;

and I wouldn't trouble you only I know I can trust you to see a
thing done, and I wish I could say the same of every one I know.

I'd send Rat, if he wasn't a poet. I want you to take those
fellows on the floor there upstairs with you, and have some

bedrooms cleaned out and tidied up and made really comfortable.
See that they sweep UNDER the beds, and put clean sheets and

pillow-cases on, and turn down one corner of the bed-clothes,
just as you know it ought to be done; and have a can of hot

water, and clean towels, and fresh cakes of soap, put in each
room. And then you can give them a licking a-piece, if it's any

satisfaction to you, and put them out by the back-door, and we
shan't see any more of THEM, I fancy. And then come along and

have some of this cold tongue. It's first rate. I'm very
pleased with you, Mole!'

The goodnatured Mole picked up a stick, formed his prisoners up
in a line on the floor, gave them the order `Quick march!' and

led his squad off to the upper floor. After a time, he
appeared again, smiling, and said that every room was ready, and

as clean as a new pin. `And I didn't have to lick them, either,'
he added. `I thought, on the whole, they had had licking enough

for one night, and the weasels, when I put the point to them,
quite agreed with me, and said they wouldn't think of troubling

me. They were very penitent, and said they were extremely sorry
for what they had done. but it was all the fault of the Chief

Weasel and the stoats, and if ever they could do anything for us
at any time to make up, we had only got to mention it. So I gave

them a roll a-piece, and let them out at the back, and off they
ran, as hard as they could!'

Then the Mole pulled his chair up to the table, and pitched into
the cold tongue; and Toad, like the gentleman he was, put all his

jealousy from him, and said heartily, `Thank you kindly, dear
Mole, for all your pains and trouble tonight, and especially for

your cleverness this morning!' The Badger was pleased at that,
and said, `There spoke my brave Toad!' So they finished their

supper in great joy and contentment, and presentlyretired to
rest between clean sheets, safe in Toad's ancestral home,

won back by matchlessvalour, consummatestrategy, and a proper
handling of sticks.

The following morning, Toad, who had overslept himself as usual,
came down to breakfast disgracefully late, and found on the table

a certain quantity of egg-shells, some fragments of cold and
leathery toast, a coffee-pot three-fourths empty, and really very

little else; which did not tend to improve his temper,
considering that, after all, it was his own house. Through the

French windows of the breakfast-room he could see the Mole and
the Water Rat sitting in wicker-chairs out on the lawn, evidently

telling each other stories; roaring with laughter and kicking
their short legs up in the air. The Badger, who was in an arm-

chair and deep in the morning paper, merely looked up and nodded
when Toad entered the room. But Toad knew his man, so he sat

down and made the best breakfast he could, merely observing to
himself that he would get square with the others sooner or later.

When he had nearly finished, the Badger looked up and remarked
rather shortly: `I'm sorry, Toad, but I'm afraid there's a heavy

morning's work in front of you. You see, we really ought to
have a Banquet at once, to celebrate this affair. It's expected

of you--in fact, it's the rule.'
`O, all right!' said the Toad, readily. `Anything to oblige.

Though why on earth you should want to have a Banquet in the
morning I cannot understand. But you know I do not live to

please myself, but merely to find out what my friends want, and
then try and arrange it for 'em, you dear old Badger!'

`Don't pretend to be stupider than you really are,' replied the
Badger, crossly; `and don't chuckle and splutter in your coffee

while you're talking; it's not manners. What I mean is, the
Banquet will be at night, of course, but the invitations will

have to be written and got off at once, and you've got to write
'em. Now, sit down at that table--there's stacks of letter-paper

on it, with "Toad Hall" at the top in blue and gold--and write
invitations to all our friends, and if you stick to it we shall

get them out before luncheon. And I'LL bear a hand, too; and
take my share of the burden. I'LL order the Banquet.'

`What!' cried Toad, dismayed. `Me stop indoors and write a lot
of rotten letters on a jolly morning like this, when I want

to go around my property, and set everything and everybody to
rights, and swagger about and enjoy myself! Certainly not! I'll

be--I'll see you----Stop a minute, though! Why, of course, dear
Badger! What is my pleasure or convenience compared with that of

others! You wish it done, and it shall be done. Go, Badger,
order the Banquet, order what you like; then join our young



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