wait for a dish of poached eggs, he must put in the time by
playing on the flageolet; if a
sermon were dull, he must read
in the book of Tobit or
divert his mind with sly advances on
the nearest women. When he walked, it must be with a book in
his pocket to
beguile the way in case the nightingales were
silent; and even along the streets of London, with so many
pretty faces to be spied for and dignitaries to be saluted,
his trail was marked by little debts "for wine, pictures,
etc.," the true headmark of a life intolerant of any joyless
passage. He had a kind of
idealism in pleasure; like the
princess in the fairy story, he was
conscious of a rose-leaf
out of place. Dearly as he loved to talk, he could not enjoy
nor shine in a conversation when he thought himself
unsuitably dressed. Dearly as he loved eating, he "knew not
how to eat alone;" pleasure for him must
heighten pleasure;
and the eye and ear must be flattered like the palate ere he
avow himself content. He had no zest in a good dinner when
it fell to be eaten "in a bad street and in a periwig-maker's
house;" and a collation was spoiled for him by indifferent
music. His body was indefatigable, doing him yeoman's
service in this
breathless chase of pleasures. On April 11,
1662, he mentions that he went to bed "weary, WHICH I SELDOM
AM;" and already over thirty, he would sit up all night
cheerfully to see a comet. But it is never pleasure that
exhausts the pleasure-seeker; for in that
career, as in all
others, it is
failure that kills. The man who enjoys so
wholly and bears so
impatiently the slightest widowhood from
joy, is just the man to lose a night's rest over some paltry
question of his right to
fiddle on the leads, or to be "vexed
to the blood" by a solecism in his wife's
attire; and we find
in
consequence that he was always peevish when he was hungry,
and that his head "aked mightily" after a
dispute. But
nothing could
divert him from his aim in life; his
remedy in
care was the same as his delight in
prosperity; it was with
pleasure, and with pleasure only, that he sought to drive out
sorrow; and, whether he was
jealous of his wife or skulking
from a bailiff, he would
equally take
refuge in the theatre.
There, if the house be full and the company noble, if the
songs be tunable, the actors perfect, and the play
diverting,
this odd hero of the secret Diary, this private self-adorer,
will
speedily be healed of his distresses.
Equally pleased with a watch, a coach, a piece of meat, a
tune upon the
fiddle, or a fact in hydrostatics, Pepys was
pleased yet more by the beauty, the worth, the mirth, or the
mere scenic attitude in life of his fellow-creatures. He
shows himself throughout a
sterling humanist. Indeed, he who
loves himself, not in idle
vanity, but with a plenitude of
knowledge, is the best equipped of all to love his
neighbours. And perhaps it is in this sense that
charity may
be most
properly said to begin at home. It does not matter
what quality a person has: Pepys can
appreciate and love him
for it. He "fills his eyes" with the beauty of Lady
Castlemaine; indeed, he may be said to dote upon the thought
of her for years; if a woman be
good-looking and not painted,
he will walk miles to have another sight of her; and even
when a lady by a mischance spat upon his clothes, he was
immediately consoled when he had observed that she was
pretty. But, on the other hand, he is
delighted to see Mrs.
Pett upon her knees, and speaks thus of his Aunt James: "a
poor, religious, well-meaning, good soul, talking of nothing
but God Almighty, and that with so much
innocence that
mightily pleased me." He is taken with Pen's
merriment and
loose songs, but not less taken with the
sterling worth of
Coventry. He is jolly with a
drunken sailor, but listens
with interest and
patience, as he rides the Essex roads, to
the story of a Quaker's
spiritual trials and convictions. He
lends a
critical ear to the
discourse of kings and royal
dukes. He spends an evening at Vauxhall with "Killigrew and