fingers. He went down into the kitchen, and the cook, probably by
his desire, came to me, to know what I would please to order for
dinner. Mr. V
enables came into the parlour again, with apparent
carelessness. I perceived that the
cunning man was overreaching
himself; and I gave my directions as usual, and left the room.
"While I was making some
alteration in my dress, Mr. V
enables
peeped in, and, begging my
pardon for interrupting me, disappeared.
I took up some work (I could not read), and two or three messages
were sent to me, probably for no other purpose, but to
enable Mr.
V
enables to
ascertain what I was about.
"I listened
whenever I heard the street-door open; at last I
imagined I could
distinguish Mr. V
enables' step, going out. I laid
aside my work; my heart palpitated; still I was afraid
hastily to
enquire; and I waited a long half hour, before I ventured to ask
the boy whether his master was in the counting-house?
"Being answered in the
negative, I bade him call me a coach,
and collecting a few necessaries
hastily together, with a little
parcel of letters and papers which I had collected the
precedingevening, I
hurried into it, desiring the
coachman to drive to a
distant part of the town.
"I almost feared that the coach would break down before I got
out of the street; and, when I turned the corner, I seemed to
breathe a freer air. I was ready to imagine that I was rising
above the thick
atmosphere of earth; or I felt, as wearied souls
might be
supposed to feel on entering another state of existence.
"I stopped at one or two stands of coaches to elude pursuit,
and then drove round the skirts of the town to seek for an obscure
lodging, where I wished to remain
concealed, till I could avail
myself of my uncle's
protection. I had
resolved to assume my own
name immediately, and
openly to avow my
determination, without any
formal vindication, the moment I had found a home, in which I could
rest free from the daily alarm of expecting to see Mr. V
enables enter.
"I looked at several lodgings; but
finding that I could not,
without a
reference to some
acquaintance, who might inform my
tyrant, get admittance into a
decentapartment--men have not all
this trouble--I thought of a woman whom I had assisted to furnish
a little haberdasher's shop, and who I knew had a first floor to let.
"I went to her, and though I could not
persuade her, that the
quarrel between me and Mr. V
enables would never be made up, still
she agreed to
conceal me for the present; yet assuring me at the
same time, shaking her head, that, when a woman was once married,
she must bear every thing. Her pale face, on which appeared a
thousand
haggard lines and delving wrinkles, produced by what is
emphatically termed fretting, inforced her remark; and I had
afterwards an opportunity of observing the
treatment she had to
endure, which grizzled her into
patience. She toiled from morning
till night; yet her husband would rob the till, and take away the
money reserved for paying bills; and, returning home drunk, he
would beat her if she chanced to
offend him, though she had a child
at the breast.
"These scenes awoke me at night; and, in the morning,
I heard her, as usual, talk to her dear Johnny--he, forsooth,
was her master; no slave in the West Indies had one more despotic;
but
fortunately she was of the true Russian breed of wives.
"My mind, during the few past days, seemed, as it were,
disengaged from my body; but, now the struggle was over, I felt
very
forcibly the effect which perturbation of spirits produces
on a woman in my situation.
"The
apprehension of a miscarriage, obliged me to confine
myself to my
apartment near a
fortnight; but I wrote to my uncle's
friend for money,
promising 'to call on him, and explain my situation,
when I was well enough to go out; mean time I
earnestly intreated
him, not to mention my place of abode to any one, lest my