Either would have been
perfectlyconsistent with my feelings. I
gazed at the door, hesitating, but in the end I did neither. The
monition of some sixth sense - the sense of guilt, maybe, that
sense which always acts too late, alas! - warned me to look round;
and at once I became aware that the
conclusion of this tumultuous
episode was likely to be a matter of
livelyanxiety. Jacobus was
standing in the
doorway of the dining-room. How long he had been
there it was impossible to guess; and remembering my struggle with
the girl I thought he must have been its mute
witness from
beginning to end. But this supposition seemed almost
incredible.
Perhaps that impenetrable girl had heard him come in and had got
away in time.
He stepped on to the verandah in his usual manner, heavy-eyed, with
glued lips. I marvelled at the girl's
resemblance to this man.
Those long, Egyptian eyes, that low
forehead of a
stupid goddess,
she had found in the sawdust of the
circus; but all the rest of the
face, the design and the modelling, the rounded chin, the very lips
- all that was Jacobus, fined down, more finished, more expressive.
His thick hand fell on and grasped with force the back of a light
chair (there were several
standing about) and I perceived the
chance of a broken head at the end of all this - most likely. My
mortification was
extreme. The
scandal would be
horrible; that was
unavoidable. But how to act so as to satisfy myself I did not
know. I stood on my guard and at any rate faced him. There was
nothing else for it. Of one thing I was certain, that, however
brazen my attitude, it could never equal the
characteristic Jacobus
impudence.
He gave me his
melancholy, glued smile and sat down. I own I was
relieved. The
perspective of passing from kisses to blows had
nothing particularly
attractive in it. Perhaps - perhaps he had
seen nothing? He behaved as usual, but he had never before found
me alone on the verandah. If he had alluded to it, if he had
asked: "Where's Alice?" or something of the sort, I would have
been able to judge from the tone. He would give me no opportunity.
The
strikingpeculiarity was that he had never looked up at me yet.
"He knows," I said to myself
confidently. And my
contempt for him
relieved my
disgust with myself.
"You are early home," I remarked.
"Things are very quiet; nothing doing at the store to-day," he
explained with a cast-down air.
"Oh, well, you know, I am off," I said, feeling that this, perhaps,
was the best thing to do.
"Yes," he breathed out. "Day after to-morrow."
This was not what I had meant; but as he gazed persistently on the
floor, I followed the direction of his glance. In the absolute
stillness of the house we stared at the high-heeled
slipper the
girl had lost in her
flight. We stared. It lay overturned.
After what seemed a very long time to me, Jacobus hitched his chair
forward, stooped with
extended arm and picked it up. It looked a
slender thing in his big, thick hands. It was not really a
slipper, but a low shoe of blue, glazed kid, rubbed and
shabby. It
had straps to go over the instep, but the girl only
thrust her feet
in, after her slovenly manner. Jacobus raised his eyes from the
shoe to look at me.
"Sit down, Captain," he said at last, in his subdued tone.
As if the sight of that shoe had renewed the spell, I gave up
suddenly the idea of leaving the house there and then. It had
become impossible. I sat down, keeping my eyes on the fascinating
object. Jacobus turned his daughter's shoe over and over in his
cushioned paws as if studying the way the thing was made. He
contemplated the thin sole for a time; then glancing inside with an
absorbed air:
"I am glad I found you here, Captain."
I answered this by some sort of grunt, watching him covertly. Then
I added: "You won't have much more of me now."