anxieties of self-assertion. What was Mr. Casaubon's bias his acts
will give us a clew to. He held himself to be, with some private
scholarly
reservations, a believing Christian, as to estimates of
the present and hopes of the future. But what we
strive to gratify,
though we may call it a distant hope, is an immediate desire:
the future
estate for which men drudge up city alleys exists already
in their
imagination and love. And Mr. Casaubon's immediate desire
was not for
divinecommunion and light divested of
earthly conditions;
his
passionate longings, poor man, clung low and mist-like in very
shady places.
Dorothea had been aware when Lydgate had
ridden away, and she had
stepped into the garden, with the
impulse to go at once to her husband.
But she
hesitated, fearing to
offend him by obtruding herself;
for her ardor,
continually repulsed, served, with her
intense memory,
to
heighten her dread, as thwarted
energy subsides into a shudder;
and she wandered slowly round the nearer clumps of trees until
she saw him advancing. Then she went towards him, and might have
represented a heaven-sent angel coming with a promise that the
short hours remaining should yet be filled with that faithful
love which clings the closer to a comprehended grief. His glance
in reply to hers was so chill that she felt her timidity increased;
yet she turned and passed her hand through his arm.
Mr. Casaubon kept his hands behind him and allowed her pliant arm
to cling with difficulty against his rigid arm.
There was something
horrible to Dorothea in the
sensation which this
unresponsive
hardness inflicted on her. That is a strong word,
but not too strong: it is in these acts called trivialities that
the seeds of joy are forever wasted, until men and women look round
with
haggard faces at the devastation their own waste has made,
and say, the earth bears no
harvest of sweetness--calling their
denial knowledge. You may ask why, in the name of manliness,
Mr. Casaubon should have behaved in that way. Consider that his
was a mind which
shrank from pity: have you ever watched in such
a mind the effect of a
suspicion that what is pressing it as a grief
may be really a source of
contentment, either
actual or future,
to the being who already
offends by pitying? Besides, he knew
little of Dorothea's
sensations, and had not reflected that on
such an occasion as the present they were
comparable in strength
to his own sensibilities about Carp's criticisms.
Dorothea did not
withdraw her arm, but she could not
venture to speak.
Mr. Casaubon did not say, "I wish to be alone," but he directed his
steps in silence towards the house, and as they entered by the glass
door on this eastern side, Dorothea
withdrew her arm and lingered
on the matting, that she might leave her husband quite free.
He entered the library and shut himself in, alone with his sorrow.
She went up to her boudoir. The open bow-window let in the serene
glory of the afternoon lying in the avenue, where the lime-trees
east long shadows. But Dorothea knew nothing of the scene.
She threw herself on a chair, not heeding that she was in the
dazzling sun-rays: if there were
discomfort in that, how could
she tell that it was not part of her
inward misery?
She was in the
reaction of a
rebellious anger stronger than any she
had felt since her marriage. Instead of tears there came words:--
"What have I done--what am I--that he should treat me so?
He never knows what is in my mind--he never cares. What is the use
of anything I do? He wishes he had never married me."
She began to hear herself, and was checked into
stillness. Like one
who has lost his way and is weary, she sat and saw as in one glance
all the paths of her young hope which she should never find again.
And just as clearly in the
miserable light she saw her own and her
husband's solitude--how they walked apart so that she was obliged
to
survey him. If he had drawn her towards him, she would never have
surveyed him--never have said, "Is he worth living for?" but would
have felt him simply a part of her own life. Now she said
bitterly,
- evidently [´evidəntli] ad.明显地 (初中英语单词)
- waiting [´weitiŋ] n.等候;伺候 (初中英语单词)
- persuade [pə´sweid] v.(被)说服;使相信 (初中英语单词)
- tendency [´tendənsi] n.趋势;倾向 (初中英语单词)
- conquest [´kɔŋkwest] n.赢得;获得;占领地 (初中英语单词)
- overcome [,əuvə´kʌm] vt.战胜,克服 (初中英语单词)
- anxious [´æŋkʃəs] a.担忧的;渴望的 (初中英语单词)
- silently [´sailəntli] ad.寂静地;沉默地 (初中英语单词)
- solemn [´sɔləm] a.严肃的;隆重的 (初中英语单词)
- conscious [´kɔnʃəs] a.意识的;自觉的 (初中英语单词)
- account [ə´kaunt] vi.说明 vt.认为 n.帐目 (初中英语单词)
- otherwise [´ʌðəwaiz] ad.另外 conj.否则 (初中英语单词)
- utmost [´ʌtməust] a.最大的 n.极端 (初中英语单词)
- conflict [´kɔnflikt, kən´flikt] n.&vi.战斗;抵触 (初中英语单词)
- vanish [´væniʃ] vi.消失;消散;消灭 (初中英语单词)
- amusement [ə´mju:zmənt] n.娱乐;文娱设施 (初中英语单词)
- disaster [di´zɑ:stə] n.灾难,不幸 (初中英语单词)
- rejoice [ri´dʒɔis] v.(使)高兴;欢庆 (初中英语单词)
- hesitate [´heziteit] vi.犹豫,踌躇 (初中英语单词)
- impress [im´pres, ´impres] v.铭刻 n.印记;特征 (初中英语单词)
- tremendous [tri´mendəs] a.可怕的;巨大的 (初中英语单词)
- suffering [´sʌfəriŋ] n.痛苦;灾害 (初中英语单词)
- medical [´medikəl] a.医学的;医疗的 (初中英语单词)
- instinct [´instiŋkt] n.本能;直觉;天资 (初中英语单词)
- tribute [´tribju:t] n.贡物;献礼;颂词 (初中英语单词)
- sunlight [´sʌnlait] n.日光 (初中英语单词)
- knowing [´nəuiŋ] a.会意的,心照不宣的 (初中英语单词)
- vision [´viʒən] n.视觉;想象力;幻影 (初中英语单词)
- imagination [i,mædʒi´neiʃən] n.想象(力) (初中英语单词)
- divine [di´vain] a.神圣的 v.预言 (初中英语单词)
- estate [i´steit] n.财产;庄园;等级 (初中英语单词)
- impulse [´impʌls] n.推动(力);冲动;刺激 (初中英语单词)
- offend [ə´fend] v.犯错误;违犯;犯罪 (初中英语单词)
- energy [´enədʒi] n.活力,精力;能力 (初中英语单词)
- horrible [´hɔrəbəl] a.可怕的;恐怖的 (初中英语单词)
- sensation [sen´seiʃən] n.感觉;轰动;轰动一时 (初中英语单词)
- harvest [´hɑ:vist] n.&v.收获;收割 (初中英语单词)
- suspicion [sə´spiʃən] n.怀(猜)疑;嫌疑 (初中英语单词)
- actual [´æktʃuəl] a.现实的;实际的 (初中英语单词)
- withdraw [wið´drɔ:] v.收回;撤销;撤退 (初中英语单词)
- venture [´ventʃə] n.投机 v.冒险;敢于 (初中英语单词)
- reaction [ri´ækʃən] n.反应(力) (初中英语单词)
- miserable [´mizərəbəl] a.悲惨的;可怜的 (初中英语单词)
- survey [´sə:vei] vt.&n.俯瞰;审视;测量 (初中英语单词)
- bitterly [´bitəli] ad.悲痛地;憎恨地 (初中英语单词)
- distrust [dis´trʌst] n.&vt.不信任,怀疑 (高中英语单词)
- hinder [´hində, ´haində] vt.阻止 a.后面的 (高中英语单词)
- melancholy [´melənkəli] n.忧郁 a.忧郁的 (高中英语单词)
- invariably [in´veəriəbli] ad.不变地;永恒地 (高中英语单词)
- exceedingly [ik´si:diŋli] ad.非常地,极度地 (高中英语单词)
- unpleasant [ʌn´plezənt] a.不愉快的;不合意的 (高中英语单词)
- needless [´ni:dləs] a.不必要的;无用的 (高中英语单词)
- positive [´pɔzətiv] a.确定的 (高中英语单词)
- negative [´negətiv] a.否定的 n.否定词 (高中英语单词)
- determination [di,tə:mi´neiʃən] n.决心;决定 (高中英语单词)
- destiny [´destini] n.命运 (高中英语单词)
- inward [´inwəd] a.向内的;心灵上的 (高中英语单词)
- significance [sig´nifikəns] n.意义;重要性 (高中英语单词)
- contempt [kən´tempt] n.轻蔑;受辱;不顾 (高中英语单词)
- passionate [´pæʃənit] a.易动情的;易怒的 (高中英语单词)
- reservation [,rezə´veiʃən] n.保留;储备;预定 (高中英语单词)
- expectation [,ekspek´teiʃən] n.期待(望);预期 (高中英语单词)
- precisely [pri´saisli] ad.精确地;刻板地 (高中英语单词)
- caution [´kɔ:ʃən] n.&vt.小心;告诫;警告 (高中英语单词)
- communicate [kə´mju:nikeit] vi.通讯;传达;传播 (高中英语单词)
- proceeding [prə´si:diŋ] n.程序;进程;行动 (高中英语单词)
- companionship [kəm´pæniənʃip] n.伴侣关系;友谊 (高中英语单词)
- consciousness [´kɔnʃəsnis] n.意识;觉悟;知觉 (高中英语单词)
- earthly [´ə:θli] a.地球的;世俗的 (高中英语单词)
- strive [straiv] vi.争取;努力;奋斗 (高中英语单词)
- continually [kən´tinjuəli] ad.不断地,频繁地 (高中英语单词)
- intense [in´tens] a.强烈的;紧张的 (高中英语单词)
- withdrew [wið´dru:] withdraw的过去式 (高中英语单词)
- stillness [´stilnis] n.不动;无声,寂静 (高中英语单词)
- uneasiness [ʌn´i:zinis] n.不安,担忧;不自在 (英语四级单词)
- indirect [,indi´rekt] a.间接的;迂回的 (英语四级单词)
- calamity [kə´læmiti] n.灾害,大灾难 (英语四级单词)
- attachment [ə´tætʃmənt] n.附着;附件;爱慕 (英语四级单词)
- calculation [,kælkju´leiʃən] n.计算;考虑,预料 (英语四级单词)
- energetic [,enə´dʒetik] a.精力旺盛的;有力的 (英语四级单词)
- insignificant [,insig´nifikənt] a.无意义的;无价值的 (英语四级单词)
- reasonably [´ri:zənəbli] ad.有理地;合理地 (英语四级单词)
- renounce [ri´nauns] v.拒绝 n.放弃权力 (英语四级单词)
- scholarship [´skɔləʃip, ´skɑlər-] n.学术成就;学问 (英语四级单词)
- uncertainty [ʌn´sə:tənti] n.不可靠;不确定的事 (英语四级单词)
- consistent [kən´sistənt] a.一致的;始终如一的 (英语四级单词)
- commonplace [´kɔmənpleis] a.平凡的;常见的 (英语四级单词)
- communion [kə´mju:niən] n.共享;交流;圣餐 (英语四级单词)
- ridden [´ridn] ride 的过去分词 (英语四级单词)
- hardness [´hɑ:dnis] n.坚硬;严厉;难度 (英语四级单词)
- haggard [´hægəd] a.憔悴的 (英语四级单词)
- contentment [kən´tentmənt] n.满足;使人满意的事 (英语四级单词)
- comparable [´kɔmpərəbəl] a.可比较的;类似的 (英语四级单词)
- inwardly [´inwədli] ad.内向;独自地 (英语六级单词)
- fulfilment [ful´filmənt] n.完成,成就 (英语六级单词)
- habitual [hə´bitʃuəl] a.习惯的,通常的 (英语六级单词)
- taking [´teikiŋ] a.迷人的 n.捕获物 (英语六级单词)
- lullaby [´lʌləbai] n.催眠曲,摇篮曲 (英语六级单词)
- doubly [´dʌbli] ad.加倍地,双重地 (英语六级单词)
- wanting [´wɔntiŋ, wɑ:n-] a.短缺的;不足的 (英语六级单词)
- lifelong [´laiflɔŋ] a.终生的 (英语六级单词)
- heighten [´haitn] v.增高,加强 (英语六级单词)
- shrank [ʃræŋk] shrink的过去式 (英语六级单词)
- discomfort [dis´kʌmfət] n.不适;不安;困难 (英语六级单词)
- rebellious [ri´beljəs] a.造反的;反叛的 (英语六级单词)