AEACUS
O heaven and earth!
When I do that, I can't
contain myself.
XANTHIAS
Phoebus Apollo! clap your hand in mine,
Kiss and be kissed: and prithee tell me this,
Tell me by Zeus, our rascaldom's own god,
What's all that noise within? What means this hubbub
And row?
AEACUS
That's Aeschylus and Euripides.
XANTHIAS
Eh?
AEACUS
Wonderful, wonderful things are going on.
The dead are rioting,
taking different sides.
XANTHIAS
Why, what's the matter?
AEACUS
There's a custom here
With all the crafts, the good and noble crafts,
That the chief master of art in each
Shall have his dinner in the
assembly hall,
And sit by Pluto's side.
XANTHIAS
I understand.
AEACUS
Until another comes, more wise than he
In the same art: then must the first give way.
XANTHIAS
And how has this disturbed our Aeschylus?
AEACUS
'Twas he that occupied the
tragic chair,
As, in his craft, the noblest.
XANTHIAS
Who does now?
AEACUS
But when Euripides came down, he kept
Flourishing off before the highwaymen,
Thieves, burglars, parricides-these form our mob
In Hades-till with listening to his twists
And turns, and pleas and counterpleas, they went
Mad on the man, and hailed him first and wisest:
Elate with this, he claimed the
tragic chair
Where Aeschylus was seated.
XANTHIAS
Wasn't he pelted?
AEACUS
Not he: the
populace clamoured out to try
Which of the twain was wiser in his art.
XANTHIAS
You mean the rascals?
AEACUS
Aye, as high as heaven!
XANTHIAS
But were there none to side with Aeschylus?
AEACUS
Scanty and sparse the good, (regards the
audience) the same as here.
XANTHIAS
And what does Pluto now propose to do?
AEACUS
He means to hold a
tournament, and bring
Their tragedies to the proof.
XANTHIAS
But Sophocles,
How came not he to claim the
tragic chair?
AEACUS
Claim it? Not he! When he came down, he kissed
With
reverence Aeschylus, and clasped his hand,
And yielded
willingly the chair to him.
But now he's going, says Cleidemides,
To sit third-man: and then if Aeschylus win,
He'll stay content: if not, for his art's sake,
He'll fight to the death against Euripides.
XANTHIAS
Will it come off?
AEACUS
O yes, by Zeus, directly.
And then, I hear, will wonderful things be done,
The art
poetic will be weighed in scales.
XANTHIAS
What I weigh out
tragedy, like butcher's meat?
AEACUS
Levels they'll bring, and measuring-tapes for words,
And moulded oblongs,
XANTHIAS
Is it bricks they are making?
AEACUS
Wedges and compasses: for Euripides
Vows that he'll test the dramas, word by word.
XANTHIAS
Aeschylus chafes at this, I fancy.
AEACUS
Well, He lowered his brows, upglaring like a bull.
XANTHIAS
And who's to be the judge?
AEACUS
There came the rub.
Skilled men were hard to find: for with the Athenians
Aeschylus, somehow, did not hit it off,
XANTHIAS
Too many burglars, I expect, he thought.
AEACUS
And all the rest, he said, were trash and nonsense
To judge
poetic wits. So then at last
They chose your lord, an
expert in the art.
But we go in for when our lords are bent
On
urgent business, that means blows for us.
CHORUS
O surely with terrible wrath
will the thunder-voiced
monarch be filled,
When he sees his
opponent beside him,
the tonguester, the artifice-skilled,
Stand, whetting his tusks for the fight!
O surely, his eyes rolling-fell
Will with terrible
madness be
fraught I
O then will be charging of plume-waving words
with their wild-floating mane,
And then will be whirling of splinters,
and phrases smoothed down with the plane,
When the man would the grand-stepping maxims,
the language
gigantic, repel
Of the hero-creator of thought.
There will his shaggy-born crest
upbristle for anger and woe,
Horribly frowning and growling,
his fury will
launch at the foe
Huge-clamped masses of words,
with
exertion Titanic up-tearing
Great ship-timber planks for the fray.
But here will the tongue be at work,
uncoiling, word-testing, refining,
Sophist-creator of phrases,
dissecting, detracting, maligning,
Shaking the
envious bits,
and with subtle
analysis paring
The lung's large labour away.
Here
apparently there is a complete change of scene, to the Hall
of Pluto, with himself sitting on his
throne, and DIONYSUS, AESCHYLUS,
and the foreground.
EURIPIDES
Don't talk to me; I won't give up the chair,
I say I am better in the art than he.
DIONYSUS
You hear him, Aeschylus: why don't you speak?
EURIPIDES
He'll do the grand at first, the juggling trick
He used to play in all his tragedies.
DIONYSUS
Come, my fine fellow, pray don't talk to big.
EURIPIDES
I know the man, I've scanned him through and through,
A savage-creating stubborn-pulling fellow,
Uncurbed, unfettered, uncontrolled of speech,
Unperiphrastic, bombastiloquent.
AESCHYLUS
Hah! sayest thou so, child of the garden quean
And this to me, thou chattery-babble-collector,
Thou pauper-creating rags-and-patches-stitcher?
Thou shalt abye it dearly!
DIONYSUS
Pray, be still;
Nor heat thy soul to fury, Aeschylus.
AESCHYLUS
Not till I've made you see the sort of man
This cripple-maker is who crows so loudly.
DIONYSUS
Bring out a ewe, a black-fleeced ewe, my boys:
Here's a typhoon about to burst upon us.
AESCHYLUS
Thou picker-up of Cretan monodies,
Foisting thy tales of incest on the stage-
DIONYSUS
Forbear,
forbear, most honoured Aeschylus;
And you, my poor Euripides, begone
If you are wise, out of this
pitiless hail,
Lest with some heady word he crack your scull
And
batter out your brain-less Telephus.
And not with
passion, Aeschylus, but calmly
Test and be tested. 'Tis not meet for poets
To scold each other, like two baking-girls.
But you go roaring like an oak on fire.
EURIPIDES
I'm ready, I don't draw back one bit.
I'll lash or, if he will, let him lash first
The talk, the lays, the sinews of a play:
Aye and my Peleus, aye and Aeolus.
And Meleager, aye and Telephus.
DIONYSUS
And what do you propose? Speak, Aeschylus.
AESCHYLUS
I could have wished to meet him otherwhere.
We fight not here on equal terms.
DIONYSUS
Why not?
AESCHYLUS
My
poetry survived me: his died with him:
He's got it here, all handy to recite.
Howbeit, if so you wish it, so we'll have it.
DIONYSUS