are statelier, grander robes than ours.
Such was my plan: but when you began,
you spoilt and degraded it all.
AESCHYLUS
Your kings in tatters and rags you dressed,
and brought them on, a beggarly show,
To move, forsooth, our pity and ruth.
EURIPIDES
And what was the harm, I should like to know.
AESCHYLUS
No more will a
wealthy citizen now
equip for the state a
galley of war.
He wraps his limbs in tatters and rags,
and whines he is "poor, too poor by far."
DIONYSUS
But under his rags he is wearing a vest,
as woolly and soft as a man could wish.
Let him gull the state, and he's off to the mart;
an eager,
extravagant buyer of fish.
AESCHYLUS
Moreover to prate, to harangue, to debate,
is now the
ambition of all in the state.
Each exercise-ground is in
consequence found
deserted and empty: to evil repute
Your lessons have brought our youngsters, and taught
our sailors to
challenge, discuss, and refute
The orders they get from their captains and yet,
when I was alive, I protest that the knaves
Knew nothing at all, save for rations to call,
and to sing "Rhyppapae" as they pulled
through the waves.
DIONYSUS
And bedad to let fly from their sterns in the eye
of the fellow who tugged at the undermost oar,
And a jolly young messmate with filth to besmirch,
and to land for a filching adventure ashore;
But now they harangue, and
dispute, and won't row
And idly and aimlessly float to and fro.
AESCHYLUS
Of what ills is lie not the
creator and cause?
Consider the scandalous scenes that he draws,
His bawds, and his panders, his women who give
Give birth in the sacredest shrine,
Whilst others with brothers are
wedded and bedded,
And others opine
That "not to be living" is truly "to live."
And
therefore our city is swarming to-day
With clerks and with demagogue-monkeys, who play
Their jackanape tricks at all times, in all places,
Deluding the people of Athens; but none
Has training enough in
athletics to run
With the torch in his hand at the races.
DIONYSUS
By the Powers, you are right! At the Panathenaea
I laughed till I felt like a potsherd to see
Pale, paunchy young gentleman pounding along,
With his head butting forward, the last of the throng,
In the direst of straits; and behold at the gates,
The Ceramites flapped him, and smacked him, and slapped him,
In the ribs, and the loin, and the flank, and the groin,
And still, as they spanked him, he puffed and he panted,
Till at one
mighty cuff, he discharged such a puff
That he blew out his torch and levanted.
CHORUS
Dread the battle, and stout the combat,
mighty and
manifold looms the war.
Hard to decide is the fight they're waging,
One like a stormy
tempest raging,
One alert in the rally and skirmish,
clever to parry and foin and spar.
Nay but don't be content to sit
Always in one position only:
many the fields for your keen-edged wit.
On then,
wrangle in every way,
Argue, battle, be flayed and flay,
Old and new from your stores display,
Yea, and
strive with venturesome daring
something subtle and neat to say.
Fear ye this, that to-day's spectators
lack the grace of
artistic lore,
Lack the knowledge they need for taking
All the points ye will soon be making?
Fear it not: the alarm is groundless:
that, be sure, is the case no more.
All have fought the
campaign ere this:
Each a book of the words is holding;
never a single point they'll miss.
Bright their natures, and now, I ween,
Newly whetted, and sharp, and keen.
Dread not any
defect of wit,
Battle away without misgiving,
sure that the
audience, at least, are fit.
EURIPIDES
Well then I'll turn me to your prologues now,
Beginning first to test the first beginning
Of this fine poet's plays. Why he's obscure
Even in the enunciation of the facts.
DIONYSUS
Which of them will you test?
EURIPIDES
Many: but first
Give us that famous one from the Oresteia.
DIONYSUS
St! Silence all! Now, Aeschylus, begin.
AESCHYLUS
"Grave Hermes, witnessing a father's power,
Be thou my
saviour and mine aid to-day,
For here I come and
hither I return."
DIONYSUS
Any fault there?
EURIPIDES
A dozen faults and more.
DIONYSUS
Eh! why the lines are only three in all.
EURIPIDES
But every one contains a score of faults.
DIONYSUS
Now Aeschylus, keep silent; if you don't
You won't get off with three iambic lines.
AESCHYLUS
Silent for him!
DIONYSUS
If my advice you'll take.
EURIPIDES
Why, at first starting here's a fault skyhigh.
AESCHYLUS (to DIONYSUS)
You see your folly?
DIONYSUS
Have your way; I care not.
AESCHYLUS (to EURIPIDES)
What is my fault?
EURIPIDES
Begin the lines again.
AESCHYLUS
"Grave Hermes, witnessing a father's power-"
EURIPIDES
And this beside his murdered father's grave
Orestes speaks?
AESCHYLUS
I say not otherwise.
EURIPIDES
Then does he mean that when his father fell
By craft and
violence at a woman's hand,
The god of craft was witnessing the deed?
AESCHYLUS
It was not he: it was the Helper Hermes
He called the grave: and this he showed by adding
It was his sire's
prerogative he held.
EURIPIDES
Why this is worse than all. If from his father
He held this office grave, why then-
DIONYSUS
He was
A graveyard rifler on his father's side.
AESCHYLUS
Bacchus, the wine you drink is stale and fusty.
DIONYSUS
Give him another: (to EURIPIDES) you, look out for faults.
AESCHYLUS
"Be thou my
saviour and mine aid to-day,
For here I come, and
hither I return."
EURIPIDES
The same thing twice says clever Aeschylus.
DIONYSUS
How twice?
EURIPIDES
Why, just consider: I'll explain.
"I come, says he; and "I return," says he:
It's the same thing, to "come" and to "return."
DIONYSUS
Aye, just as if you said, "Good fellow, tend me
A kneading
trough:
likewise, a
trough to knead in."
AESCHYLUS
It is not so, you
everlasting talker,
They're not the same, the words are right enough.
DIONYSUS
How so? inform me how you use the words.
AESCHYLUS
A man, not banished from his home, may "come"
To any land, with no
especial chance.
A home-bound exile both "returns" and "comes."
DIONYSUS
O good, by Apollo!
What do you say, Euripides, to that?
EURIPIDES
I say Orestes never did "return."
He came in secret: nobody recalled him.
DIONYSUS
O good, by Hermes I
(Aside) I've not the least
suspicion what he means.
EURIPIDES
Repeat another line.
DIONYSUS
Ay, Aeschylus,
Repeat one
instantly: you, mark what's wrong.
AESCHYLUS
"Now on this
funeral mound I call my rather
To hear, to hearken.
EURIPIDES
There he is again.
To "hear," to "hearken"; the same thing, exactly.