ESCALUS. Well, sir, what did this gentleman to her?
POMPEY. I
beseech you, sir, look in this gentleman's face. Good
Master Froth, look upon his honour; 'tis for a good purpose. Doth
your honour mark his face?
ESCALUS. Ay, sir, very well.
POMPEY. Nay, I
beseech you, mark it well.
ESCALUS. Well, I do so.
POMPEY. Doth your honour see any harm in his face?
ESCALUS. Why, no.
POMPEY. I'll be suppos'd upon a book his face is the worst thing
about him. Good then; if his face be the worst thing about him,
how could Master Froth do the
constable's wife any harm? I would
know that of your honour.
ESCALUS. He's in the right,
constable; what say you to it?
ELBOW. First, an it like you, the house is a respected house; next,
this is a respected fellow; and his
mistress is a respected
woman.
POMPEY. By this hand, sir, his wife is a more respected person than
any of us all.
ELBOW. Varlet, thou liest; thou liest, wicket varlet; the time is
yet to come that she was ever respected with man, woman, or
child.
POMPEY. Sir, she was respected with him before he married with her.
ESCALUS. Which is the wiser here, Justice or Iniquity? Is this
true?
ELBOW. O thou caitiff! O thou varlet! O thou
wicked Hannibal! I
respected with her before I was married to her! If ever I was
respected with her, or she with me, let not your
worship think me
the poor Duke's officer. Prove this, thou
wicked Hannibal, or
I'll have mine action of batt'ry on thee.
ESCALUS. If he took you a box o' th' ear, you might have your
action of
slander too.
ELBOW. Marry, I thank your good
worship for it. What is't your
worship's pleasure I shall do with this
wicked caitiff?
ESCALUS. Truly, officer, because he hath some offences in him that
thou wouldst discover if thou
couldst, let him continue in his
courses till thou know'st what they are.
ELBOW. Marry, I thank your
worship for it. Thou seest, thou
wickedvarlet, now, what's come upon thee: thou art to continue now,
thou varlet; thou art to continue.
ESCALUS. Where were you born, friend?
FROTH. Here in Vienna, sir.
ESCALUS. Are you of
fourscore pounds a year?
FROTH. Yes, an't please you, sir.
ESCALUS. So. What trade are you of, sir?
POMPEY. A tapster, a poor widow's tapster.
ESCALUS. Your
mistress' name?
POMPEY. Mistress Overdone.
ESCALUS. Hath she had any more than one husband?
POMPEY. Nine, sir; Overdone by the last.
ESCALUS. Nine! Come
hither to me, Master Froth. Master Froth, I
would not have you acquainted with tapsters: they will draw you,
Master Froth, and you will hang them. Get you gone, and let me
hear no more of you.
FROTH. I thank your
worship. For mine own part, I never come into
any room in a taphouse but I am drawn in.
ESCALUS. Well, no more of it, Master Froth;
farewell. [Exit FROTH]
Come you
hither to me, Master Tapster; what's your name, Master
Tapster?
POMPEY. Pompey.
ESCALUS. What else?
POMPEY. Bum, sir.
ESCALUS. Troth, and your bum is the greatest thing about you; so
that, in the beastliest sense, you are Pompey the Great. Pompey,
you are
partly a bawd, Pompey, howsoever you colour it in being a
tapster. Are you not? Come, tell me true; it shall be the better
for you.
POMPEY. Truly, sir, I am a poor fellow that would live.
ESCALUS. How would you live, Pompey- by being a bawd? What do you
think of the trade, Pompey? Is it a
lawful trade?
POMPEY. If the law would allow it, sir.
ESCALUS. But the law will not allow it, Pompey; nor it shall not be
allowed in Vienna.
POMPEY. Does your
worship mean to geld and splay all the youth of
the city?
ESCALUS. No, Pompey.
POMPEY. Truly, sir, in my poor opinion, they will to't then. If
your
worship will take order for the drabs and the knaves, you
need not to fear the bawds.
ESCALUS. There is pretty orders
beginning, I can tell you: but it
is but heading and hanging.
POMPEY. If you head and hang all that
offend that way but for ten
year together, you'll be glad to give out a
commission for more
heads; if this law hold in Vienna ten year, I'll rent the fairest
house in it, after threepence a bay. If you live to see this come
to pass, say Pompey told you so.
ESCALUS. Thank you, good Pompey; and, in requital of your prophecy,
hark you: I
advise you, let me not find you before me again upon
any
complaint whatsoever- no, not for
dwelling where you do; if I
do, Pompey, I shall beat you to your tent, and prove a shrewd
Caesar to you; in plain
dealing, Pompey, I shall have you whipt.
So for this time, Pompey, fare you well.
POMPEY. I thank your
worship for your good
counsel; [Aside] but I
shall follow it as the flesh and fortune shall better determine.
Whip me? No, no; let carman whip his jade;
The
valiant heart's not whipt out of his trade. Exit
ESCALUS. Come
hither to me, Master Elbow; come
hither, Master
Constable. How long have you been in this place of
constable?
ELBOW. Seven year and a half, sir.
ESCALUS. I thought, by the
readiness in the office, you had
continued in it some time. You say seven years together?
ELBOW. And a half, sir.
ESCALUS. Alas, it hath been great pains to you! They do you wrong
to put you so oft upon't. Are there not men in your ward
sufficient to serve it?
ELBOW. Faith, sir, few of any wit in such matters; as they are
chosen, they are glad to choose me for them; I do it for some
piece of money, and go through with all.
ESCALUS. Look you, bring me in the names of some six or seven, the
most sufficient of your parish.
ELBOW. To your
worship's house, sir?
ESCALUS. To my house. Fare you well. [Exit ELBOW]
What's o'clock, think you?
JUSTICE. Eleven, sir.
ESCALUS. I pray you home to dinner with me.
JUSTICE. I
humbly thank you.
ESCALUS. It
grieves me for the death of Claudio;
But there's no remedy.
JUSTICE. Lord Angelo is
severe.
ESCALUS. It is but needful:
Mercy is not itself that oft looks so;
Pardon is still the nurse of second woe.
But yet, poor Claudio! There is no remedy.
Come, sir. Exeunt
SCENE II.
Another room in ANGELO'S house
Enter PROVOST and a SERVANT
SERVANT. He's
hearing of a cause; he will come straight.
I'll tell him of you.
PROVOST. Pray you do. [Exit SERVANT] I'll know
His pleasure; may be he will
relent. Alas,
He hath but as
offended in a dream!
All sects, all ages, smack of this vice; and he
To die for 't!
Enter ANGELO
ANGELO. Now, what's the matter, Provost?
PROVOST. Is it your will Claudio shall die to-morrow?
ANGELO. Did not I tell thee yea? Hadst thou not order?
Why dost thou ask again?
PROVOST. Lest I might be too rash;
Under your good
correction, I have seen
When, after
execution, judgment hath
Repented o'er his doom.
ANGELO. Go to; let that be mine.
Do you your office, or give up your place,
And you shall well be spar'd.
PROVOST. I crave your honour's
pardon.
What shall be done, sir, with the groaning Juliet?
She's very near her hour.
ANGELO. Dispose of her
To some more fitter place, and that with speed.
Re-enter SERVANT
SERVANT. Here is the sister of the man
condemn'd
Desires
access to you.
ANGELO. Hath he a sister?
PROVOST. Ay, my good lord; a very
virtuous maid,
And to be
shortly of a sisterhood,
If not already.
ANGELO. Well, let her be admitted. Exit SERVANT
See you the fornicatress be remov'd;
Let her have needful but not
lavish means;
There shall be order for't.
Enter Lucio and ISABELLA
PROVOST. [Going] Save your honour!
ANGELO. Stay a little while. [To ISABELLA] Y'are
welcome; what's
your will?
ISABELLA. I am a woeful
suitor to your honour,
Please but your honour hear me.
ANGELO. Well; what's your suit?
ISABELLA. There is a vice that most I do abhor,
And most desire should meet the blow of justice;
For which I would not plead, but that I must;
For which I must not plead, but that I am
At war 'twixt will and will not.
ANGELO. Well; the matter?
ISABELLA. I have a brother is
condemn'd to die;
I do
beseech you, let it be his fault,
And not my brother.
PROVOST. [Aside] Heaven give thee moving graces.
ANGELO. Condemn the fault and not the actor of it!
Why, every fault's
condemn'd ere it be done;
Mine were the very cipher of a function,
To fine the faults whose fine stands in record,
And let go by the actor.
ISABELLA. O just but
severe law!
I had a brother, then. Heaven keep your honour!
LUCIO. [To ISABELLA] Give't not o'er so; to him again,
entreat him,
Kneel down before him, hang upon his gown;
You are too cold: if you should need a pin,
You could not with more tame a tongue desire it.
To him, I say.
ISABELLA. Must he needs die?
ANGELO. Maiden, no remedy.
ISABELLA. Yes; I do think that you might
pardon him.
And neither heaven nor man
grieve at the mercy.
ANGELO. I will not do't.
ISABELLA. But can you, if you would?
ANGELO. Look, what I will not, that I cannot do.
ISABELLA. But might you do't, and do the world no wrong,
If so your heart were touch'd with that remorse
As mine is to him?