CHAPTER XX

s the Miss Dashwoods entered the drawing-room of the

park the next day, at one door, Mrs. Palmer came running

in at the other, looking as good humoured and merry as

before. She took them all most affectionately by the hand, and

expressed great delight in seeing them again.

"I am so glad to see you!" said she, seating herself between

Elinor and Marianne, "for it is so bad a day I was afraid you might

not come, which would be a shocking thing, as we go away again

tomorrow. We must go, for the Westons come to us next week you

know. It was quite a sudden thing our coming at all, and I knew

nothing of it till the carriage was coming to the door, and then Mr.

Palmer asked me if I would go with him to Barton. He is so droll!

He never tells me any thing! I am so sorry we cannot stay longer;

however we shall meet again in town very soon, I hope."

They were obliged to put an end to such an expectation.

"Not go to town!" cried Mrs. Palmer, with a laugh, "I shall be

quite disappointed if you do not. I could get the nicest house in

world for you, next door to ours, in Hanover-square. You must

come, indeed. I am sure I shall be very happy to chaperon you at

any time till I am confined, if Mrs. Dashwood should not like to go

into public."

They thanked her; but were obliged to resist all her entreaties.

"Oh! my love," cried Mrs. Palmer to her husband, who just then

entered the room―"you must help me to persuade the Miss

Dashwoods to go to town this winter."

Her love made no answer; and after slightly bowing to the

ladies, began complaining of the weather.

"How horrid all this is!" said he. "Such weather makes every

thing and every body disgusting. Dullness is as much produced

within doors as without, by rain. It makes one detest all one's

acquaintance. What the devil does Sir John mean by not having a

billiard room in his house? How few people know what comfort is!

Sir John is as stupid as the weather."

The rest of the company soon dropt in.

"I am afraid, Miss Marianne," said Sir John, "you have not been

able to take your usual walk to Allenham today."

Marianne looked very grave and said nothing.

"Oh, don't be so sly before us," said Mrs. Palmer; "for we know

all about it, I assure you; and I admire your taste very much, for I

think he is extremely handsome. We do not live a great way from

him in the country, you know. Not above ten miles, I dare say."

"Much nearer thirty," said her husband.

"Ah, well! there is not much difference. I never was at his

house; but they say it is a sweet pretty place."

"As vile a spot as I ever saw in my life," said Mr. Palmer.

Marianne remained perfectly silent, though her countenance

betrayed her interest in what was said.

"Is it very ugly?" continued Mrs. Palmer―"then it must be

some other place that is so pretty I suppose."

When they were seated in the dining room, Sir John observed

with regret that they were only eight all together.

"My dear," said he to his lady , "it is very provoking that we

should be so few. Why did not you ask the Gilberts to come to us

to-day?"

"Did not I tell you, Sir John, when you spoke to me about it

before, that it could not be done? They dined with us last."

"You and I, Sir John," said Mrs. Jennings, "should not stand

upon such ceremony."

"Then you would be very ill-bred," cried Mr. Palmer.

"My love you contradict every body," said his wife with her

usual laugh. "Do you know that you are quite rude?"

"I did not know I contradicted any body in calling your mother

ill-bred."

"Ay, you may abuse me as you please," said the good-natured

old lady, "you have taken Charlotte off my hands, and cannot give

her back again. So there I have the whip hand of you."

Charlotte laughed heartily to think that her husband could not

get rid of her; and exultingly said, she did not care how cross he

was to her, as they must live together. It was impossible for any

one to be more thoroughly good-natured, or more determined to

be happy than Mrs. Palmer. The studiedindifference, insolence,

and discontent of her husband gave her no pain; and when he

scolded or abused her, she was highly diverted.

"Mr. Palmer is so droll!" said she, in a whisper, to Elinor. "He is

always out of humour."

Elinor was not inclined, after a little observation, to give him

credit for being so genuinely and unaffectedly ill-natured or ill-

bred as he wished to appear. His temper might perhaps be a little

soured by finding, like many others of his sex, that through some

unaccountable bias in favour of beauty, he was the husband of a

very silly woman,―but she knew that this kind of blunder was too

common for any sensible man to be lastingly hurt by it.―It was

rather a wish of distinction, she believed, which produced his

contemptuous treatment of every body, and his general abuse of

every thing before him. It was the desire of appearing superior to

other people. The motive was too common to be wondered at; but

the means, however they might succeed by establishing his

superiority in ill-breeding, were not likely to attach any one to him

except his wife.

"Oh! my dear Miss Dashwood," said Mrs. Palmer soon

afterwards, "I have got such a favour to ask of you and your sister.

Will you come and spend some time at Cleveland this Christmas?

Now, pray do,―and come while the Westons are with us. You

cannot think how happy I shall be! It will be quite delightful!―My

love," applying to her husband, "don't you long to have the Miss

Dashwoods come to Cleveland?"

"Certainly," he replied, with a sneer―"I came into Devonshire

with no other view."

"There now,"―said his lady, "you see Mr. Palmer expects you;

so you cannot refuse to come."

They both eagerly and resolutely declined her invitation.

"But indeed you must and shall come. I am sure you will like it

of all things. The Westons will be with us, and it will be quite

delightful. You cannot think what a sweet place Cleveland is; and

we are so gay now, for Mr. Palmer is always going about the

country canvassing against the election; and so many people came

to dine with us that I never saw before, it is quite charming! But,

poor fellow! it is very fatiguing to him! for he is forced to make

every body like him."

Elinor could hardly keep her countenance as she assented to

the hardship of such an obligation.

"How charming it will be," said Charlotte, "when he is in

Parliament!―won't it? How I shall laugh! It will be so ridiculous to

see all his letters directed to him with an M.P.―But do you know,

he says, he will never frank for me? He declares he won't. Don't

you, Mr. Palmer?"

Mr. Palmer took no notice of her.

"He cannot bear writing, you know," she continued―"he says it

is quite shocking."

"No," said he, "I never said any thing so irrational. Don't palm

all your abuses of languages upon me."

"There now; you see how droll he is. This is always the way

with him! Sometimes he won't speak to me for half a day together,

and then he comes out with something so droll―all about any

thing in the world."

She surprised Elinor very much as they returned into the

drawing-room, by asking her whether she did not like Mr. Palmer

excessively.

"Certainly;" said Elinor, "he seems very agreeable."

"Well―I am so glad you do. I thought you would, he is so

pleasant; and Mr. Palmer is excessively pleased with you and your

sisters I can tell you, and you can't think how disappointed he will

be if you don't come to Cleveland.―I can't imagine why you

should object to it."

Elinor was again obliged to decline her invitation; and by

changing the subject, put a stop to her entreaties. She thought it

probable that as they lived in the same county, Mrs. Palmer might

be able to give some more particular account of Willoughby's

general character, than could be gathered from the Middletons'

partial acquaintance with him; and she was eager to gain from any

one, such a confirmation of his merits as might remove the

possibility of fear from Marianne. She began by inquiring if they

saw much of Mr. Willoughby at Cleveland, and whether they were

intimately acquainted with him.

"Oh! dear, yes; I know him extremely well," replied Mrs.

Palmer;―"Not that I ever spoke to him indeed; but I have seen

him for ever in town. Somehow or other I never happened to be

staying at Barton while he was at Allenham. Mama saw him here

once before;― but I was with my uncle at Weymouth. However, I

dare say we should have seen a great deal of him in

Somersetshire, if it had not happened very unluckily that we

should never have been in the country together. He is very little at

Combe, I believe; but if he were ever so much there, I do not think

Mr. Palmer would visit him, for he is in the opposition, you know,

and besides it is such a way off. I know why you inquire about him,

very well; your sister is to marry him. I am monstrous glad of it, for

then I shall have her for a neighbour you know."

"Upon my word," replied Elinor, "you know much more of the

matter than I do, if you have any reason to expect such a match."

"Don't pretend to deny it, because you know it is what every

body talks of. I assure you I heard of it in my way through town."

"My dear Mrs. Palmer!"

"Upon my honour I did.―I met Colonel Brandon Monday

morning in Bond-street, just before we left town, and he told me of

it directly."

"You surprise me very much. Colonel Brandon tell you of it!

Surely you must be mistaken. To give such intelligence to a person

who could not be interested in it, even if it were true, is not what I

should expect Colonel Brandon to do."

"But I do assure you it was so, for all that, and I will tell you

how it happened. When we met him, he turned back and walked

with us; and so we began talking of my brother and sister, and one

thing and another, and I said to him, 'So, Colonel, there is a new

family come to Barton cottage, I hear, and mama sends me word

they are very pretty, and that one of them is going to be married to

Mr. Willoughby of Combe Magna. Is it true, pray? for of course

you must know, as you have been in Devonshire so lately.'"

"And what did the Colonel say?"

"Oh―he did not say much; but he looked as if he knew it to be

true, so from that moment I set it down as certain. It will be quite

delightful, I declare! When is it to take place?"

"Mr. Brandon was very well I hope?"

"Oh! yes, quite well; and so full of your praises, he did nothing

but say fine things of you."

"I am flattered by his commendation. He seems an excellent

man; and I think him uncommonly pleasing."

"So do I.―He is such a charming man, that it is quite a pity he

should be so grave and so dull. Mama says he was in love with your

sister too.―I assure you it was a great compliment if he was, for he

hardly ever falls in love with any body."

"Is Mr. Willoughby much known in your part of

Somersetshire?" said Elinor.

"Oh! yes, extremely well; that is, I do not believe many people

are acquainted with him, because Combe Magna is so far off; but

they all think him extremely agreeable I assure you. Nobody is

more liked than Mr. Willoughby wherever he goes, and so you may

tell your sister. She is a monstrous lucky girl to get him, upon my

honour; not but that he is much more lucky in getting her, because

she is so very handsome and agreeable, that nothing can be good

enough for her. However, I don't think her hardly at all

handsomer than you, I assure you; for I think you both excessively

pretty, and so does Mr. Palmer too I am sure, though we could not

get him to own it last night."

Mrs. Palmer's information respecting Willoughby was not very

material; but any testimony in his favour, however small, was

pleasing to her.

"I am so glad we are got acquainted at last ," continued

Charlotte.―"And now I hope we shall always be great friends. You

can't think how much I longed to see you! It is so delightful that

you should live at the cottage! Nothing can be like it, to be sure!

And I am so glad your sister is going to be well married! I hope

you will be a great deal at Combe Magna. It is a sweet place, by all

accounts."

"You have been long acquainted with Colonel Brandon, have

not you?"

"Yes, a great while; ever since my sister married.―He was a

particular friend of Sir John's. I believe," she added in a low voice,

"he would have been very glad to have had me, if he could. Sir

John and Lady Middleton wished it very much. But mama did not

think the match good enough for me, otherwise Sir John would

have mentioned it to the Colonel, and we should have been

married immediately."

"Did not Colonel Brandon know of Sir John's proposal to your

mother before it was made? Had he never owned his affection to

yourself?"

"Oh! no; but if mama had not objected to it, I dare say he would

have liked it of all things. He had not seen me then above twice,

for it was before I left school. However, I am much happier as I

am. Mr. Palmer is the kind of man I like."
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