was praying
earnestly; faith gave to her figure an
abandonment, a
prosternation, the attitude of some religious
statue, which moved me
to the soul.
According to village custom, vespers were said soon after mass. Coming
out of church Madame de Chessel naturally proposed to her neighbors to
pass the
intermediate time at Frapesle instead of crossing the Indre
and the meadows twice in the great heat. The offer was accepted.
Monsieur de Chessel gave his arm to the
duchess, Madame de Chessel
took that of the count. I offered mine to the
countess, and felt, for
the first time, that beautiful arm against my side. As we walked from
the church to Frapesle by the woods of Sache, where the light,
filtering down through the
foliage, made those pretty patterns on the
path which seem like painted silk, such sensations of pride, such
ideas took possession of me that my heart beat violently.
"What is the matter?" she said, after walking a little way in a
silence I dared not break. "Your heart beats too fast--"
"I have heard of your good fortune," I replied, "and, like all others
who love truly, I am beset with vague fears. Will your new dignities
change you and
lessen your friendship?"
"Change me!" she said; "oh, fie! Another such idea and I shall--not
despise you, but forget you forever."
I looked at her with an
ecstasy which should have been contagious.
"We profit by the new laws which we have neither brought about nor
demanded," she said; "but we are neither place-hunters nor beggars;
besides, as you know very well, neither Monsieur de Mortsauf nor I can
leave Clochegourde. By my advice he has declined the command to which
his rank entitled him at the Maison Rouge. We are quite content that
my father should have the place. This forced modesty," she added with
some
bitterness, "has already been of service to our son. The king, to
whose household my father is appointed, said very
graciously that he
would show Jacques the favor we were not
willing to accept. Jacques'
education, which must now be thought of, is already being discussed.
He will be the representative of two houses, the Lenoncourt and the
Mortsauf families. I can have no
ambition except for him, and
therefore my anxieties seem to have increased. Not only must Jacques
live, but he must be made
worthy of his name; two necessities which,
as you know,
conflict. And then, later, what friend will keep him safe
for me in Paris, where all things are pitfalls for the soul and
dangers for the body? My friend," she said, in a broken voice, "who
could not see upon your brow and in your eyes that you are one who
will
inhabit heights? Be some day the
guardian and
sponsor of our boy.
Go to Paris; if your father and brother will not second you, our
family, above all my mother, who has a
genius for the
management of
life, will help you. Profit by our influence; you will never be
without support in
whatevercareer you choose; put the strength of
your desires into a noble
ambition--"
"I understand you," I said, interrupting her; "
ambition is to be my
mistress. I have no need of that to be
wholly yours. No, I will not be
rewarded for my
obedience here by receiving favors there. I will go; I
will make my own way; I will rise alone. From you I would accept
everything, from others nothing."
"Child!" she murmured, ill-concealing a smile of pleasure.
"Besides, I have taken my vows," I went on. "Thinking over our
situation I am
resolved to bind myself to you by ties that never can
be broken."
She trembled
slightly and stopped short to look at me.
"What do you mean?" she asked, letting the couples who preceded us
walk on, and keeping the children at her side.
"This," I said; "but first tell me
frankly how you wish me to love
you."
"Love me as my aunt loved me; I gave you her rights when I permitted
you to call me by the name which she chose for her own among my
others."
"Then I am to love without hope and with an
absolutedevotion. Well,
yes; I will do for you what some men do for God. I shall feel that you
have asked it. I will enter a
seminary and make myself a
priest, and
then I will
educate your son. Jacques shall be myself in his own form;
political conceptions, thoughts,
energy,
patience, I will give him
all. In that way I shall live near to you, and my love, enclosed in
religion as a silver image in a
crystalshrine, can never be suspected
of evil. You will not have to fear the undisciplined
passions which
grasp a man and by which already I have allowed myself to be
vanquished. I will
consume my own being in the flame, and I will love
you with a purified love."
She turned pale and said, hurrying her words: "Felix, do not put
yourself in bonds that might prove an
obstacle to our happiness. I
should die of grief for having caused a
suicide like that. Child, do
you think
despairing love a life's
vocation? Wait for life's trials
before you judge of life; I command it. Marry neither the Church nor a
woman; marry not at all,--I
forbid it. Remain free. You are twenty-one
years old--My God! can I have
mistaken him? I thought two months
sufficed to know some souls."
"What hope have you?" I cried, with fire in my eyes.
"My friend, accept our help, rise in life, make your way and your
fortune and you shall know my hope. And," she added, as if she were
whispering a secret, "never
release the hand you are
holding at this
moment."
She bent to my ear as she said these words which proved her deep
solicitude for my future.
"Madeleine!" I exclaimed "never!"
We were close to a
wooden gate which opened into the park of Frapesle;
I still seem to see its ruined posts overgrown with climbing plants
and briers and mosses. Suddenly an idea, that of the count's death,
flashed through my brain, and I said, "I understand you."
"I am glad of it," she answered in a tone which made me know I had
supposed her
capable of a thought that could never be hers.
Her
purity drew tears of
admiration from my eyes which the selfishness
of
passion made bitter indeed. My mind reacted and I felt that she did
not love me enough even to wish for liberty. So long as love recoils
from a crime it seems to have its limits, and love should be infinite.
A spasm shook my heart.
"She does not love me," I thought.
To hide what was in my soul I stooped over Madeleine and kissed her
hair.
"I am afraid of your mother," I said to the
countesspresently, to
renew the conversation.
"So am I," she answered with a
gesture full of childlike gaiety.
"Don't forget to call her Madame la
duchesse, and to speak to her in
the third person. The young people of the present day have lost these
polite manners; you must learn them; do that for my sake. Besides, it
is such good taste to respect women, no matter what their age may be,
and to recognize social distinctions without disputing them. The
respect shown to established
superiority is
guarantee for that which
is due to you. Solidarity is the basis of society. Cardinal Della
Rovere and Raffaelle were two powers
equally revered. You have sucked
the milk of the Revolution in your
academy and your political ideas
may be influenced by it; but as you advance in life you will find that
crude and ill-defined principles of liberty are
powerless to create
the happiness of the people. Before
considering, as a Lenoncourt, what
an
aristocracy ought to be, my common-sense as a woman of the people
tells me that societies can exist only through a hierarchy. You are
now at a turning-point in your life, when you must choose
wisely. Be
on our side,--especially now," she added, laughing, "when it
triumphs."
I was
keenly touched by these words, in which the depth of her
political feeling mingled with the
warmth of affection,--a combination
which gives to women so great a power of
persuasion; they know how to
give to the keenest arguments a tone of feeling. In her desire to
justify all her husband's actions Henriette had
foreseen the
criticisms that would rise in my mind as soon as I saw the servile
effects of a
courtier's life upon him. Monsieur de Mortsauf, king in
his own castle and surrounded by an
historic halo, had, to my eyes, a
certain grandiose
dignity. I was
therefore greatly astonished at the
distance he placed between the
duchess and himself by manners that
were nothing less than obsequious. A slave has his pride and will only
serve the greatest despots. I
confess I was humiliated at the
degradation of one before whom I trembled as the power that ruled my