390 BC
THE ECCLESIAZUSAE
by Aristophanes
anonymous translator
CHARACTERS IN THE PLAY
PRAXAGORA
BLEPYRUS, husband of Praxagora
WOMEN
A MAN
CHREMES
A CITIZEN
HERALD
A GIRL
A YOUNG MAN
THREE OLD WOMEN
A SERVANT MAID to PRAXAGORA
CHORUS OF WOMEN
ECCLESIAZUSAE
(SCENE:-The Orchestra represents a public square in Athens; in the
background are two houses with an alley between them.)
PRAXAGORA
(swinging the
lantern, which is to be a signal for the other
women; in high
tragic style)
Oh! Thou shining light of my earthenware lamp, from this high spot
shalt thou look
abroad. Oh! lamp, I will tell thee thine
origin and
thy future; 'tis the rapid whirl of the potter's wheel that has lent
thee thy shape, and thy wick counterfeits the glory of the sun;
mayst thou send the agreed signal flashing afar! In thee alone do we
confide, and thou art
worthy, for thou art near us when we practise
the various postures in which Aphrodite delights upon our couches, and
none dreams even in the midst of her sports of seeking to avoid
thine eye that watches us. Thou alone shinest into the secret recesses
of our thighs and dost singe the hair that groweth there, and with thy
flame dost light the actions of our loves. If we open some cellar
stored with fruits and wine, thou art our
companion, and never dost
thou
betray or reveal to a neighbour the secrets thou hast learned
about us. Therefore thou shalt know
likewise the whole of the plot
that I have planned with my friends, the women, at the
festival of the
Scirophoria.
(She pauses and looks about her.)
I see none of those I was expecting, though dawn approaches; the
Assembly is about to gather and we must take our seats in spite of
Phyromachus, who forsooth would say, "It is meet the women sit apart
and
hidden from the eyes of the men." Why, have they not been able
then to
procure the false beards that they must wear, or to steal
their husbands' cloaks? Ah! I see a light approaching; let us draw
somewhat aside, for fear it should be a man.
(She hides in the alley. From the right a woman enters, followed
almost immediately by others. All are carrying staffs, men's
sandals, and cloaks over their arms.)
FIRST WOMAN
Let us start, it is high time; as we left our dwellings, the
cock was crowing for the second time.
PRAXAGORA (to herself)
And I have spent the whole night
waiting for you. (She emerges
from the alley.) But come, let us call our neighbour by scratching
at her door; and
gently too, so that her husband may hear nothing.
SECOND WOMAN
(coming out of her house; she is dressed like a man, with a staff
in her hand)
I was putting on my shoes, when I heard you scratching, for I
was not asleep, so there! Oh! my dear, my husband (he is a Salaminian)
never left me an instant's peace, but was at me, for ever at me, all
night long, so that it was only just now that I was able to filch
his cloak.
PRAXAGORA
I see Clinarete coming too, along with Sostrate and their
next-door neighbour Philaenete. (To the women that are just
arriving; in a loud voice) Hurry yourselves then, for Glyce has
sworn that the last comer shall
forfeit three measures of wine and a
choenix of pease.
SECOND WOMAN
Don't you see Melistice, the wife of Smicythion, hurrying hither
in her big shoes? I think she is the only one of us all who has had no
trouble in getting rid of her husband.
FIRST WOMAN
And can't you see Geusistrate, the tavern-keeper's wife, with a
lamp in her hand?
PRAXAGORA
And the wives of Philodoretus and Chaeretades, and a great many
others; all the useful people in the city, in fact.
THIRD WOMAN
Oh! my dear, I have had such trouble in getting away! My husband
ate such a surfeit of sprats last evening that he was coughing and
choking the whole night long.
PRAXAGORA
Take your seats, and, since you are all gathered here at last, let
us see if what we
decided on at the feast of the Scirophoria has
been duly done.
FIRST WOMAN
Yes. Firstly, as agreed, I have let the hair under my armpits grow
thicker than a bush;
furthermore,
whilst my husband was at the
Assembly, I rubbed myself from head to foot with oil and then stood
the whole day long in the sun.
SECOND WOMAN
So did I. I began by throwing away my razor, so that I might get
quite hairy, and no longer
resemble a woman.
PRAXAGORA
Have you the beards that we had all to get ourselves for the
Assembly?
FIRST WOMAN
Yea, by Hecate! Is this not a fine one?
SECOND WOMAN
Aye, much finer even than the one Epicrates has.
PRAXAGORA (to the other women)
And you?
FIRST WOMAN
Yes, yes; look, they all nod assent.
PRAXAGORA
I see that you have got all the rest too, Spartan shoes, staffs
and men's cloaks, as it was arranged.
FIRST WOMAN
I have brought Lamias' club, which I stole from him while he
slept.
PRAXAGORA
What, the club that makes him fart with its weight?
SECOND WOMAN
By Zeus the Deliverer, if he had the skin of Argus, he would
know better than any other how to
shepherd the popular herd.
PRAXAGORA
But come, let us finish what has yet to be done, while the stars
are still shining; the Assembly, at which we mean to be present,
will open at dawn.
FIRST WOMAN
Good; you must take up your place at the foot of the
platformand facing the Prytanes.
SECOND WOMAN
I have brought this with me to card during the Assembly.
(She shows some wool.)
PRAXAGORA
During the Assembly,
wretched woman?
SECOND WOMAN
Surely, by Artemis! shall I hear any less well if I am doing a bit
of carding? My little ones are all but naked.
PRAXAGORA
Think of her
wanting to card!
whereas we must not let anyone see
the smallest part of our bodies. 'Twould be a fine thing if one of us,
in the midst of the
discussion, rushed on to the speaker's
platformand, flinging her cloak aside, showed her Phormisius. If, on the other
hand, we are the first to take our seats closely muffled in our
cloaks, none will know us. Let us fix these beards on our chins, so
that they spread all over our bosoms. How can we fail then to be
mistaken for men? Agyrrhius has deceived
everyone, thanks to the beard
of Pronomus; yet he was no better than a woman, and you see how he now
holds the first position in the city. Thus, I adjure you by this day
that is about to dawn, let us dare to copy him and let us be clever
enough to possess ourselves of the
management of affairs. Let us
save the ship of state, which just at present none seems able either
to sail or row.
FIRST WOMAN (in a
tragic style)
But where shall we find orators in an Assembly of women?
PRAXAGORA
Nothing simpler. Is it not said that the cleverest speakers are
those who get made love to most often? Well, thanks to the gods, we
are that by nature.
FIRST WOMAN
There's no doubt of that; but the worst of it is our inexperience.
PRAXAGORA
That's the very reason we are gathered here, in order to prepare
the speech we must make in the Assembly. Hasten,
therefore, all you
who know aught of
speaking, to fix on your beards.
SECOND WOMAN
Oh you
stupid thing! is there ever a one among us cannot use her
tongue?
PRAXAGORA
Come, look sharp, on with your beard and become a man. As for
me, I will do the same in case I should have a fancy for getting on to
the
platform. Here are the chaplets.
(They all put on their beards.)
SECOND WOMAN
Oh! great gods! my dear Praxagora, do look here! Is it not
laughable?
PRAXAGORA
How laughable?
SECOND WOMAN
Our beards look like broiled cuttle-fishes.
PRAXAGORA (pretending to be the herald)
Priest, bring in the cat. Step forward, please Silence,
Ariphrades! Come and take your seat. Now, who wishes to speak?
SECOND WOMAN
I do.
PRAXAGORA
Then put on this chaplet and success be with you.
SECOND WOMAN
There!
PRAXAGORA
Well then I begin.
SECOND WOMAN
Before drinking?
PRAXAGORA
Hah! she wants to drink!
SECOND WOMAN
Why, what else is the meaning of this chaplet?
PRAXAGORA
Get you hence! you would probably have played us this trick also
before the people.
SECOND WOMAN
Well! don't the men drink then in the Assembly?
PRAXAGORA
Now she's telling us the men drink!
SECOND WOMAN