420 BC
PEACE
by Aristophanes
anonymous translator
CHARACTERS IN THE PLAY
TRYGAEUS
TWO SERVANTS OF TRYGAEUS
DAUGHTERS OF TRYGAEUS
HERMES
WAR
TUMULT
HIEROCLES, a Soothsayer
AN ARMOURER
A SICKLE-MAKER
A CREST-MAKER
SON OF LAMACHUS
SON OF CLEONYMUS
CHORUS OF HUSBANDMEN
PEACE
(SCENE:-Behind the Orchestra on the right the
farmhouse of
TRYGAEUS, in the centre the mouth of a cave closed up with huge
boulders, on the left the palace of ZEUS. In front of the
farmhouse is a
stable, the door of wkich is closed. Two of
TRYGAEUS'slaves are seen in front of the
stable, one of them
kneading cakes of dung, the other
taking the finished cakes and
throwing them into the
stable.)
FIRST SERVANT
Quick, quick, bring the dung-
beetle his cake.
SECOND SERVANT
There it is. Give it to him, and may it kill him! And may he never
eat a better.
FIRST SERVANT
Now give him this other one kneaded up with ass's dung.
SECOND SERVANT
There! I've done that too. And where's what you gave him just now?
Surely he can't have devoured it yet!
FIRST SERVANT
Indeed he has; he snatched it, rolled it between his feet and
bolted it. Come, hurry up, knead up a lot and knead them stiffly.
SECOND SERVANT
Oh, scavengers, help me in the name of the gods, if you do not
wish to see me fall down choked.
FIRST SERVANT
Come, come, another made from the stool of a fairy's favourite.
That will be to the
beetle's taste; he likes it well ground.
SECOND SERVANT
There! I am free at least from
suspicion; none will
accuse me of
tasting what I mix.
FIRST SERVANT
Faugh! come, now another! keep on mixing with all your might.
SECOND SERVANT
By god, no. I can stand this awful cesspool stench no longer.
FIRST SERVANT
I shall bring you the whole ill-smelling gear.
SECOND SERVANT
Pitch it down the sewer sooner, and yourself with it. (To the
AUDIENCE) Maybe, one of you can tell me where I can buy a stopped-up
nose, for there is no work more disgusting than to mix food for a
dung-
beetle and to carry it to him. A pig or a dog will at least
pounce upon our excrement without more ado, but this foul wretch
affects the disdainful, the spoilt
mistress, and won't eat unless I
offer him a cake that has been kneaded for an entire day.... But let
us open the door a bit ajar without his
seeing it. Has he done eating?
Come, pluck up courage, cram yourself till you burst! The cursed
creature! It wallows in its food! It grips it between its claws like a
wrestler clutching his
opponent, and with head and feet together rolls
up its paste like a rope-maker twisting a hawser. What an indecent,
stinking, gluttonous beast! I don't know what angry god let this
monster loose upon us, but of a
certainty it was neither Aphrodite nor
the Graces.
FIRST SERVANT
Who was it then?
SECOND SERVANT
No doubt Zeus, the God of the Thundercrap.
FIRST SERVANT
But perhaps some
spectator, some beardless youth, who thinks
himself a sage, will say, "What is this? What does the
beetle mean?"
And then an Ionian, sitting next him, will add, "I think it's an
allusion to Cleon, who so shamelessly feeds on filth all by
himself."-But now I'm going
indoors to fetch the
beetle a drink.
SECOND SERVANT
As for me, I will explain the matter to you all, children, youths,
grownups and old men, aye, even to the decrepit dotards. My master
is mad, not as you are, but with another sort of
madness, quite a
new kind. The livelong day he looks open-mouthed towards heaven and
never stops addressing Zeus. "Ah! Zeus," he cries, "what are thy
intentions? Lay aside thy besom; do not sweep Greece away!" Ah!
Hush, hush! I think I hear his voice!
TRYGAEUS (from within)
Oh! Zeus, what art thou going to do for our people? Dost thou
not see this, that our cities will soon be but empty husks?
SECOND SERVANT
As I told you, that is his form of
madness. There you have a
sample of his follies. When his trouble first began to seize him, he
said to himself, "By what means could I go straight to Zeus? Then he
made himself very
slender little ladders and so clambered up towards
heaven; but he soon came hurtling down again and broke his head.
Yesterday, to our
misfortune, he went out and brought us back this
thoroughbred, but from where I know not, this great
beetle, whose
groom he has forced me to become. He himself caresses it as though
it were a horse,
saying, "Oh! my little Pegasus, my noble aerial
steed, may your wings soon bear me straight to Zeus!" But what is my
master doing? I must stoop down to look through this hole. Oh! great
gods! Here! neighbours, run here quick! here is my master flying off
mounted on his
beetle as if on horseback.
(The Machine brings in TRYGAEUS astride an
enormous figure of a
dung
beetle with wings spread.)
TRYGAEUS (intoning)
Gently,
gently, go easy,
beetle; don't start off so
proudly, or
trust at first too greatly to your powers; wait till you have sweated,
till the
beating of your wings shall make your limb joints supple.
Above all things, don't let off some foul smell. I adjure you; else
I would rather have you stay right in the
stable.
SECOND SERVANT (intoning)
Poor master! Is he crazy?
TRYGAEUS (intoning)
Silence! silence!
SECOND SERVANT (intoning)
But why start up into the air on chance?
TRYGAEUS (intoning)
'Tis for the weal of all the Greeks; I am attempting a daring
and novel feat.
SECOND SERVANT (intoning)
But what is your purpose? What
useless folly!
TRYGAEUS (intoning)
No words of ill omen! Give vent to joy and command all men to keep
silence, to close down their drains and privies with new tiles and
to cork up their own arses.
FIRST SERVANT (speaking)
No, I shall not be silent, unless you tell me where you are going.
TRYGAEUS
Why, where am I likely to be going across the sky, if it be not to
visit Zeus?
FIRST SERVANT
For what purpose?
TRYGAEUS
I want to ask him what he reckons to do for all the Greeks.
SECOND SERVANT
And if he doesn't tell you?
TRYGAEUS
I shall
pursue him at law as a
traitor who sells Greece to the
Medes.
SECOND SERVANT
Death seize me, if I let you go.
TRYGAEUS
It is
absolutely necessary.
SECOND SERVANT (loudly)
Alas! alas! dear little girls, your father is deserting you
secretly to go to heaven. Ah! poor orphans,
entreat him,
beseech him.
(The little daughters of TRYGAEUS come out.)
LITTLE DAUGHTER (singing)
Father! father! what is this I hear? Is it true? What! you would
leave me, you would
vanish into the sky, you would go to the crows?
Impossible! Answer, father, if you love me.
TRYGAEUS (singing)
Yes, I am going. You hurt me too
sorely, my daughters, when you
ask me for bread,
calling me your daddy, and there is not the ghost of
an obolus in the house; if I succeed and come back, you will have a
barley loaf every morning-and a punch in the eye for sauce!
LITTLE DAUGHTER
But how will you make the journey? There's no ship that will
take you there.
TRYGAEUS
No, but this
winged steed will.
LITTLE DAUGHTER
But what an idea, papa, to
harness a
beetle, to fly to the gods
on.
TRYGAEUS
We see from Aesop's fables that they alone can fly to the abode of
the Immortals.
LITTLE DAUGHTER
Father, father, that's a tale nobody can believe! that such a
smelly creature can have gone to the gods.
TRYGAEUS
It went to have
vengeance on the eagle and break its eggs.
LITTLE DAUGHTER
Why not
saddle Pegasus? you would have a more
tragic appearance in
the eyes of the gods.
TRYGAEUS
Eh! don't you see, little fool, that then twice the food would
be wanted? Whereas my
beetle devours again as filth what I have
eaten myself.
LITTLE DAUGHTER
And if it fell into the
watery depths of the sea, could it
escape with its wings?
TRYGAEUS (exposing himself)
I am fitted with a
rudder in case of need, and my Naxos
beetlewill serve me as a boat.
LITTLE DAUGHTER
And what harbour will you put in at?
TRYGAEUS
Why is there not the harbour of Cantharus at the Piraeus?
LITTLE DAUGHTER
Take care not to knock against anything and so fall off into
space; once a
cripple, you would be a fit subject for Euripides, who
would put you into a tragedy.
TRYGAEUS (as the Machine hoists him higher)
I'll see to it. Good-bye! (To the Athenians) You, for love of whom
I brave these dangers, do ye neither fart nor crap for the space of
three days, for, if, while cleaving the air, my steed should scent
anything, he would fling me head
foremost from the
summit of my hopes.