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for many a long year,' the Fairy said, very majestically; and

Gruffanuff, coming out of the door, straddling before it with his
great calves, burst out laughing, and cried, 'Ha, ha, ha! this is

a good un! Ha--ah--what's this? Let me down--O--o-- H'm!' and
then he was dumb!

For, as the Fairy waved her wand over him, he felt himself rising
off the ground, and fluttering up against the door, and then, as

if a screw ran into his stomach, he felt a dreadful pain there,
and was pinned to the door; and then his arms flew up over his

head; and his legs, after writhing about wildly, twisted under
his body; and he felt cold, cold, growing over him, as if he was

turning into metal; and he said, 'O--o--H'm!' and could say no
more, because he was dumb.

He WAS turned into metal! He was, from being BRAZEN, BRASS! He
was neither more nor less than a knocker! And there he was,

nailed to the door in the blazing summer day, till he burned
almost red-hot; and there he was, nailed to the door all the

bitter winter nights, till his brass nose was dropping with
icicles. And the postman came and rapped at him, and the

vulgarest boy with a letter came and hit him up against the door.
And the King and Queen (Princess and Prince they were then)

coming home from a walk that evening, the King said, 'Hullo, my
dear! you have had a new knocker put on the door. Why, it's

rather like our porter in the face! What has become of that
boozy vagabond?' And the house-maid came and scrubbed his nose

with sandpaper; and once, when the Princess Angelica's little
sister was born, he was tied up in an old kid glove; and, another

night, some LARKING young men tried to wrench him off, and put
him to the most excruciating agony with a turn screw. And then

the Queen had a fancy to have the colour of the door altered; and
the painters dabbed him over the mouth and eyes, and nearly

choked him, as they painted him pea-green. I warrant he had
leisure to repent of having been rude to the Fairy Blackstick!

As for his wife, she did not miss him; and as he was always
guzzling beer at the public-house, and notoriously quarrelling

with his wife, and in debt to the tradesmen, it was supposed he
had run away from all these evils, and emigrated to Australia or

America. And when the Prince and Princess chose to become King
and Queen, they left their old house, and nobody thought of the

porter any more.
V. HOW PRINCESS ANGELICA TOOK A LITTLE MAID

One day, when the Princess Angelica was quite a little girl, she
was walking in the garden of the palace, with Mrs. Gruffanuff,

the governess, holding a parasol over her head, to keep her sweet
complexion from the freckles, and Angelica was carrying a bun, to

feed the swans and ducks in the royal pond.
They had not reached the duck-pond, when there came toddling up

to them such a funny little girl! She had a great quantity of
hair blowing about her chubby little cheeks, and looked as if she

had not been washed or combed for ever so long. She wore a
ragged bit of a cloak, and had only one shoe on.

'You little wretch, who let you in here?' asked Mrs. Gruffanuff.
'Div me dat bun,' said the little girl, 'me vely hungy.'

'Hungry! what is that?' asked Princess Angelica, and gave the
child the bun.

'Oh, Princess!' says Mrs. Gruffanuff, 'how good, how kind, how
truly angelical you are! See, Your Majesties,' she said to the

King and Queen, who now came up, along with their nephew, Prince
Giglio, 'how kind the Princess is! She met this little dirty

wretch in the garden--I can't tell how she came in here, or why
the guards did not shoot her dead at the gate!--and the dear

darling of a Princess has given her the whole of her bun!'
'I didn't want it,' said Angelical

'But you are a darling little angel all the same,' says the
governess.

'Yes; I know I am,' said Angelical 'Dirty little girl, don't you
think I am very pretty?' Indeed, she had on the finest of little

dresses and hats; and, as her hair was carefully curled, she
really looked very well.

'Oh, pooty, pooty!' says the little girl, capering about,
laughing, and dancing, and munching her bun; and as she ate it

she began to sing, 'Oh, what fun to have a plum bun! how I wis it
never was done!' At which, and her funny accent, Angelica,

Giglio, and the King and Queen began to laugh very merrily.
'I can dance as well as sing,' says the little girl. 'I can

dance, and I can sing, and I can do all sorts of ting.' And she
ran to a flower-bed, and pulling a few polyanthuses,

rhododendrons, and other flowers, made herself a little wreath,
and danced before the King and Queen so drolly and prettily, that

everybody was delighted.
'Who was your mother--who were your relations, little girl?' said

the Queen.
The little girl said, 'Little lion was my brudder; great big

lioness my mudder; neber heard of any udder.' And she capered
away on her one shoe, and everybody was exceedingly diverted.

So Angelica said to the Queen, 'Mamma, my parrot flew away
yesterday out of its cage, and I don't care any more for any of

my toys; and I think this funny little dirty child will amuse me.
I will take her home, and give her some of my old frocks.'

'Oh, the generousdarling!' says Mrs. Gruffanuff.
'Which I have worn ever so many times, and am quite tired of,'

Angelica went on; 'and she shall be my little maid. Will you
come home with me, little dirty girl?'

The child clapped her hands, and said, 'Go home with you--yes!
You pooty Princess!--Have a nice dinner, and wear a new dress!'

And they all laughed again, and took home the child to the
palace, where, when she was washed and combed, and had one of the

Princess's frocks given to her, she looked as handsome as
Angelica, almost. Not that Angelica ever thought so; for this

little lady never imagined that anybody in the world could be as
pretty, as good, or as clever as herself. In order that the

little girl should not become too proud and conceited, Mrs.
Gruffanuff took her old raggedmantle and one shoe, and put them

into a glass box, with a card laid upon them, upon which was
written, 'These were the old clothes in which little BETSINDA was

found when the great goodness and admirable kindness of Her Royal
Highness the Princess Angelica received this little outcast.'

And the date was added, and the box locked up.
For a while little Betsinda was a great favourite with the

Princess, and she danced, and sang, and made her little rhymes,
to amuse her mistress. But then the Princess got a monkey, and

afterwards a little dog, and afterwards a doll, and did not care
for Betsinda any more, who became very melancholy and quiet, and

sang no more funny songs, because nobody cared to hear her. And
then, as she grew older, she was made a little lady's-maid to the

Princess; and though she had no wages, she worked and mended, and
put Angelica's hair in papers, and was never cross when scolded,

and was always eager to please her mistress, and was always up
early and to bed late, and at hand when wanted, and in fact

became a perfect little maid. So the two girls grew up, and,
when the Princess came out, Betsinda was never tired of waiting

on her; and made her dresses better than the best milliner, and
was useful in a hundred ways. Whilst the Princess was having her

masters, Betsinda would sit and watch them; and in this way she
picked up a great deal of learn ing; for she was always awake,

though her mistress was not, and listened to the wise professors
when Angelica was yawning or thinking of the next ball. And when

the dancing-master came, Betsinda learned along with Angelica;
and when the music-master came, she watched him, and practiced

the Princess's pieces when Angelica was away at balls and
parties; and when the drawing-master came, she took note of all

he said and did; and the same with French, Italian, and all other
languages--she learned them from the teacher who came to

Angelica. When the Princess was going out of an evening she
would say, 'My good Betsinda, you may as well finish what I have

begun.' 'Yes, miss,' Betsinda would say, and sit down very
cheerful, not to FINISH what Angelica began, but to DO it.

For instance, the Princess would begin a head of a warrior, let
us say, and when it was begun it was something like this--

But when it was done, the warrior was like this--
(only handsomer still if possible), and the Princess put her name

to the drawing; and the Court and King and Queen, and above all
poor Giglio, admired the picture of all things, and said, 'Was

there ever a genius like Angelica?' So, I am sorry to say, was
it with the Princess's embroidery and other accomplishments; and

Angelica actually believed that she did these things herself, and
received all the flattery of the Court as if every word of it was

true. Thus she began to think that there was no young woman in
all the world equal to herself, and that no young man was good

enough for her. As for Betsinda, as she heard none of these
praises, she was not puffed up by them, and being a most

grateful, good-natured girl, she was only too anxious to do
everything which might give her mistress pleasure. Now you begin

to perceive that Angelica had faults of her own, and was by no
means such a wonder of wonders as people represented Her Royal

Highness to be.
VI. HOW PRINCE GIGLIO BEHAVED HIMSELF

And now let us speak about Prince Giglio, the nephew of the
reigning monarch of Paflagonia. It has already been stated, in

page seven, that as long as he had a smart coat to wear, a good
horse to ride, and money in his pocket, or rather to take out of

his pocket, for he was very good-natured, my young Prince did not
care for the loss of his crown and sceptre, being a thoughtless

youth, not much inclined to politics or any kind of learning. So
his tutor had a sinecure. Giglio would not learn classics or

mathematics, and the Lord Chancellor of Paflagonia, SQUARETOSO,
pulled a very long face because the Prince could not be got to

study the Paflagonian laws and constitution; but, on the other
hand, the King's gamekeepers and huntsmen found the Prince an apt

pupil; the dancing-master pronounced that he was a most elegant
and assiduous scholar; the First Lord of the Billiard Table gave

the most flattering reports of the Prince's skill; so did the
Groom of the Tennis Court; and as for the Captain of the Guard

and Fencing Master, the VALIANT and VETERAN Count KUTASOFF
HEDZOFF, he avowed that since he ran the General of Crim Tartary,

the dreadful Grumbuskin, through the body, he never had
encountered so expert a swordsman as Prince Giglio.

I hope you do not imagine that there was any impropriety in the
Prince and Princess walking together in the palace garden, and

because Giglio kissed Angelica's hand in a polite manner. In the
first place they are cousins; next, the Queen is walking in the

garden too (you cannot see her, for she happens to be behind that
tree), and Her Majesty always wished that Angelica and Giglio

should marry: so did Giglio: so did Angelica sometimes, for she
thought her cousin very handsome, brave, and good-natured: but

then you know she was so clever and knew so many things, and poor
Giglio knew nothing, and had no conversation. When they looked

at the stars, what did Giglio know of the heavenly bodies? Once,
when on a sweet night in a balcony where they were standing,

Angelica said, 'There is the Bear.' 'Where?' says Giglio.
'Don't be afraid, Angelica! if a dozen bears come, I will kill

them rather than they shall hurt you.' 'Oh, you silly creature!'
says she; 'you are very good, but you are not very wise.' When

they looked at the flowers, Giglio was utterly unacquainted with
botany, and had never heard of Linnaeus. When the butterflies

passed, Giglio knew nothing about them, being as ignorant of
entomology as I am of algebra. So you see, Angelica, though she

liked Giglio pretty well, despised him on account of his
ignorance. I think she probably valued HER OWN LEARNING rather

too much; but to think too well of one's self is the fault of
people of all ages and both sexes. Finally, when nobody else was



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