by another law student. For months we sat opposite each other
without exchanging a word. I thought I was too formal and reserved,

so I endeavored to improve matters by occasionally looking up at him
as if about to address him, but every time I did so he looked down

as though he did not wish to see me. Finally I gave up the attempt.
This is the general habit with English gentlemen. They will not speak

to a stranger without a proper introduction; but in the case I have mentioned
surely the rule would have been more honored by a breach

than by the observance. Seeing that we were fellow students,
it might have been presumed that we were gentlemen and on an equal footing.

How different are the manners of the American! You can hardly take a walk,
or go for any distance in a train, without being addressed by a stranger,

and not infrequently making a friend. In some countries
the fact that you are a foreigner only thickens the ice,

in America it thaws it. This delightful trait in the American character
is also traceable to the same cause as that which has helped us to explain

the other peculiarities which have been mentioned. To good Americans,
not only are the citizens of America born equal, but the citizens of the world

are also born equal.
Chapter 9. American Women

It is rather bold on my part to take up this subject. It is a path
where "fools rush in where angels fear to tread". No matter what I say

it is sure to provokecriticism, but having frequently been asked
by my lady friends to give my opinion of American women, and having given

my solemn promise that if I ever should write my impressions of America
I would do so, it would be a serious "breach of promise" if I should now

break my word.
In general there are three classes of women: first, those who wish

to be praised; secondly, those who wish to be adversely criticized
and condemned; and thirdly, those who are simply curious to hear

what others think of them. American women do not as a rule belong
to either the first or the second class, but a large majority of them

may be ranged under class three. They wish to know what other people
honestly think of them and to hear their candid views.

They are progressive people who desire to improve their defects
whenever they are pointed out to them. That being the case

I must not swerve from my duty of sitting in a high court of justice
to pass judgment on them.

To begin with, the American women are in some respects dissimilar to the women
of other nations. I find them sprightly, talkative and well informed.

They can converse on any subject with ease and resource,
showing that they have a good all-round education. Often have I derived

considerable information from them. The persistence with which
they stick to their opinions is remarkable. Once, when I had a lady visitor

at my Legation in Washington, after several matters had been discussed
we commenced talking about women's rights. I was in favor of giving women

more rights than they are enjoying, but on some points I did not go so far
as my lady friend; after arguing with me for several hours,

she, seeing that I did not coincide with all her views,
threatened that she would not leave my house until I had fully digested

all her points, and had become converted to her views.
I have observed that many American women marry foreigners,

but that an American rarely has a foreign wife. It may be said
that foreigners marry American girls for their money, while American women

marry distinguishedforeigners for their titles. This may have been true
in some cases, but other causes than such sordid motives must be looked for.

It is the attractiveness and the beauty of the American girls
which enable them to capture so many foreign husbands.

Their pleasant manners and winsome nature predispose a person in their favor,
and with their well-grounded education and ready fund of knowledge,

they easily win any gentleman with marital propensities.
Had I been single when I first visited America I too might have been a victim

-- no wonder then that American men prefer American wives.
Once I was an involuntary match-maker. Some years ago,

during my first mission in Washington, I was invited to attend
the wedding of the daughter of the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court.

When I entered the breakfast room, I saw the bridesmaids
and a number of young men. Going up to one of the bridesmaids

whom I had previously" target="_blank" title="ad.预先；以前">previously met, and who was the daughter of a Senator,
I asked her when it would be her turn to become a bride.

She modestly said that she did not know, as she had not yet had an offer.
Turning to the group of young men who were in the room,

I jocularly remarked to one of them, "This is a beautiful lady,
would you not like to marry her?" He replied, "I shall be most delighted to."

Then I said to the young lady, "Will you accept his offer?"
She seemed slightly embarrassed and said something to the effect

that as she did not know the gentleman she could not give a definite answer.
After a few days I met the young lady at an "At Home" party

when she scolded me for being so blunt with her before the young men.
I told her I was actuated by the best of motives, and a few months later

I received an invitation from the young lady's parents
inviting me to be present at their daughter's marriage.

I thought I would go and find out whether the bridegroom was the young man
whom I had introduced to the young lady, and as soon as I entered the house,

the mother of the bride, to my agreeable surprise, informed me
that it was I who had first brought the young couple together,

and both the bride and bridegroomheartily thanked me for my good offices.
One very conspicuous feature in the character of American women

is their self-control and independence. As soon as a girl grows up
she is allowed to do what she pleases, without the control of her parents.

It is a common occurrence to see a young lady travelling alone
without either a companion or a chaperon. Travelling on one occasion

from San Francisco to Washington I met a young lady on the train
who was still in her teens. She told me that she was going to New York

to embark on a steamer for Germany, with the intention of entering
a German college. She was undertaking this long journey alone.

Such an incident would be impossible in China; even in England,
or indeed in any European country, I hardly believe that

a respectable young girl would be allowed to take such a journey
without some trusty friend to look after her. But in America

this is a common occurrence, and it is a credit to the administration,
and speaks volumes for the good government of the country,

that for sensible wide-awake American girls such undertakings
are perfectly safe.

This notion of independence and freedom has modified the relation
of children to their parents. Instead of children being required

to show respect and filialobedience, the obligation of mutual love and esteem
is cultivated. Parents would not think of ordering a girl or a boy

to do anything, however reasonable; in all matters they treat them
as their equals and friends; nor would a girl submit to an arbitrary order

from her mother, for she does not regard her as a superior,
but as her friend and companion. I find it is a common practice

among American girls to engage themselves in marriage
without consulting their parents. Once I had a serious talk on this subject

with a young couple who were betrothed. I asked them if they had the consent
of their parents. They both answered emphatically that it was not necessary,

and that it was their business and not their parents'.
I told them that although it was their business, they might have shown

some respect to their parents by consulting them before committing themselves
to this important transaction. They answered that they did not agree with me,

and as it concerned their own happiness alone, they had a perfect right
to decide the matter for themselves. This shows the extreme limit

to which the Americans carry their theory of independence. Unless I am
greatly mistaken, I fear this is a typical and not an isolated case.

I believe that in many cases, after they had made up their minds to marry,
the young people would inform their respective parents of their engagement,

but I question if they would subordinate their own wishes
to the will of their parents, or ask their consent to their engagement.

Now let us see how all this is managed in China. Here the parties
most interested have no voice in the matter. The parents,

through their friends, or sometimes through the professional" target="_blank" title="a.职业的 n.自由职业">professional match-makers,
arrange the marriage, but only after the most strict and diligent inquiries

as to the character, position, and suitability of temper and disposition
of the persons for whom the marriage contract is being prepared.

This is sometimes done with the knowledge of the interested parties,
but very often they are not consulted. After an engagement is thus made

it cannot be broken off, not even by the young people themselves,
even though he or she may plead that the arrangement was made without