his or her knowledge or consent. The
engagement is considered by all parties
as a
solemncompact. On the
wedding day, in nine cases out of ten,
the bride and
bridegroom meet each other for the first time,
and yet they live contentedly, and quite often even happily together.
Divorces in China are
exceedingly rare. This is accounted for
by the fact that through the wise control of their parents
the children are
properly mated. In
saying this I do not wish to be supposed
to be advocating the
introduction of the Chinese
system into America.
I would, however, point out that the independent and
thoughtless way
in which the American young people take on themselves the marriage vow
does not as a rule result in
suitablecompanionships.
When a girl falls in love with a young man she is
unable to perceive
his shortcomings and vices, and when, after living together for a few months,
she begins to find them out, it is alas too late. If,
previous to
her
engagement, she had taken her mother into her confidence,
and asked her to use her good offices to find out the
characterof the young man whom she favored, a fatal and
unhappy mistake
might have been avoided. Without interfering, in the least,
with the liberty or free choice, I should think it would be a good policy
if all young Americans, before
definitely committing themselves
to a promise of marriage, would at least
consult their mothers,
and ask them to make private and
confidential inquiries as to the disposition,
as well as to the moral and
physicalfitness of the young man or lady
whom they
contemplate marrying. Mothers are naturally
concernedabout the
welfare and happiness of their offspring, and could be trusted
in most cases to make careful,
impartial and
conscientious inquiries
as to whether the girl or man was really a
worthy and
suitable life partner
for their children. If this step were generally taken
many an
unfortunate union would be avoided. It was after this fashion
that I reasoned with the young people mentioned above,
but they did not agree with me, and I had to conclude that love is blind.
Before leaving this subject I would add that the
system of marriage
which has been in vogue in China for so many centuries has been
somewhat changed within the last few years. This is due to the new spirit
which has been gradually growing. Young people begin to exert their rights,
and will not allow parents to choose their life partners
without their consent. Instances of girls choosing their own husbands
have come to my knowledge, and they did not occur during leap-year.
But I
sincerely hope that our Chinese youth will not go to the same lengths
as the young people of America.
The manner in which a son treats his parents in the United States
is diametrically opposed to our Chinese
doctrine, handed down to us
from time
immemorial. "Honor thy father and thy mother"
is an
injunction of Moses which all Christians
profess to observe,
but which, or so it appears to a Confucianist, all
equally forget.
The Confucian creed lays it down as the
essential duty of children
that they shall not only honor and obey their fathers and their mothers,
but that they are in duty bound to support them. The reason is that
as their parents brought them into the world, reared and educated them,
the children should make them some return for their trouble and care.
The view of this question which is taken in America seems to be
very strange to me. Once I heard a young American argue in this way.
He said,
gravely and
seriously, that as he was brought into this world
by his parents without his consent, it was their duty to rear him
in a proper way, but that it was no part of his duty to support them.
I was very much astounded at this statement. In China such a son
would be despised, and if he neglected to
maintain his parents he would
be punished. I do not believe that the
extreme views of this young man
are
universally accepted in America, but I am inclined to think
that the duties of children toward their parents are somewhat ill-defined.
American parents do not
apparently expect their children to support them,
because, as a rule they are, if not rich, at least in
comfortable circumstances; and even if they are not, they would rather
- formal [´fɔ:məl] a.正式的;外表的 (初中英语单词)
- occasionally [ə´keiʒənəli] ad.偶然地;非经常地 (初中英语单词)
- introduction [,intrə´dʌkʃən] n.介绍;引言;引导 (初中英语单词)
- foreigner [´fɔrinə] n.外国人 (初中英语单词)
- delightful [di´laitful] a.讨人喜欢的 (初中英语单词)
- criticism [´kritisizəm] n.批评;评论(文) (初中英语单词)
- solemn [´sɔləm] a.严肃的;隆重的 (初中英语单词)
- pointed [´pɔintid] a.尖(锐)的;中肯的 (初中英语单词)
- remarkable [ri´mɑ:kəbl] a.值得注意的;显著的 (初中英语单词)
- rarely [´reəli] ad.难得;非凡地 (初中英语单词)
- enable [i´neibəl] vt.使能够;赋予权力 (初中英语单词)
- capture [´kæptʃə] vt.&n.捕获;俘获;夺取 (初中英语单词)
- mission [´miʃən] n.代表团;使馆vt.派遣 (初中英语单词)
- wedding [´wediŋ] n.婚礼,结婚 (初中英语单词)
- supreme [su:´pri:m, sju:-] a.最高的,无上的 (初中英语单词)
- slightly [´slaitli] ad.轻微地;细长的 (初中英语单词)
- definite [´definit] a.确定的,明确的 (初中英语单词)
- invitation [,invi´teiʃən] n.邀请;请帖;吸引 (初中英语单词)
- agreeable [ə´gri:əbəl] a.适合的;符合的 (初中英语单词)
- character [´kæriktə] n.特性;性质;人物;字 (初中英语单词)
- independence [,indi´pendəns] n.独立,自主,自立 (初中英语单词)
- companion [kəm´pæniən] n.同伴;同事;伴侣 (初中英语单词)
- steamer [´sti:mə] n.汽船;轮船;蒸笼 (初中英语单词)
- intention [in´tenʃən] n.意图;打算;意义 (初中英语单词)
- incident [´insidənt] n.小事件;事变 (初中英语单词)
- european [juərə´pi:ən] a.欧洲的 n.欧洲人 (初中英语单词)
- sensible [´sensəbəl] a.感觉得到的 (初中英语单词)
- obligation [,ɔbli´geiʃən] n.义务;职责;合约 (初中英语单词)
- reasonable [´rizənəbəl] a.合理的;有理智的 (初中英语单词)
- submit [səb´mit] vt.使服从;使忍受 (初中英语单词)
- extreme [ik´stri:m] a.尽头的 n.极端 (初中英语单词)
- professional [prə´feʃənəl] a.职业的 n.自由职业 (初中英语单词)
- diligent [´dilidʒənt] a.勤奋的 (初中英语单词)
- temper [´tempə] n.韧度 v.锻炼;调和 (初中英语单词)
- engagement [in´geidʒmənt] n.婚约;雇用;受聘 (初中英语单词)
- arrangement [ə´reindʒmənt] n.整理;排列;筹备 (初中英语单词)
- properly [´prɔpəli] ad.适当地;严格地 (初中英语单词)
- system [´sistəm] n.系统,体系,制度 (初中英语单词)
- suitable [´su:təbəl, ´sju:-] a.合适的,适当的 (初中英语单词)
- unable [ʌn´eibəl] a.不能的;无能为力的 (初中英语单词)
- previous [´pri:viəs] a.先,前,以前的 (初中英语单词)
- unhappy [ʌn´hæpi] a.不幸的;不快乐的 (初中英语单词)
- definitely [´definitli] ad.明确地;绝对 (初中英语单词)
- consult [kən´sʌlt] v.商量;磋商;请教 (初中英语单词)
- physical [´fizikəl] a.物质的;有形的 (初中英语单词)
- welfare [´welfeə] n.福利(事业) (初中英语单词)
- worthy [´wə:ði] a.有价值的;值得的 (初中英语单词)
- unfortunate [ʌn´fɔ:tʃunit] a.不幸的,运气差的 (初中英语单词)
- doctrine [´dɔktrin] n.教义;主义;学说 (初中英语单词)
- equally [´i:kwəli] ad.相等地;平等地 (初中英语单词)
- essential [i´senʃəl] a.必需的 n.要素,要点 (初中英语单词)
- gravely [´greivli] ad.庄重地,严肃地 (初中英语单词)
- seriously [´siəriəsli] ad.严肃;严重,重大 (初中英语单词)
- maintain [mein´tein] vt.维持;保持;继续 (初中英语单词)
- seeing [si:iŋ] see的现在分词 n.视觉 (高中英语单词)
- provoke [prə´vəuk] vt.挑拨;煽动;引起 (高中英语单词)
- progressive [prə´gresiv] a.进步的;前进的 (高中英语单词)
- converse [´kɔnvə:s] n.交谈 a.相反的 (高中英语单词)
- coincide [,kəuin´said] vi.一致;重合 (高中英语单词)
- distinguished [di´stiŋgwiʃt] a.卓越的,著名的 (高中英语单词)
- previously [´pri:viəsli] ad.预先;以前 (高中英语单词)
- heartily [´hɑ:tili] ad.衷心地;亲切地 (高中英语单词)
- conspicuous [kən´spikjuəs] a.显著的;出众的 (高中英语单词)
- occurrence [ə´kʌrəns] n.发生;(偶发)事件 (高中英语单词)
- undertaking [,ʌndə´teikiŋ] n.任务;事业;计划 (高中英语单词)
- respectable [ri´spektəbəl] a.可敬的;有身价的 (高中英语单词)
- perfectly [´pə:fiktli] ad.理想地;完美地 (高中英语单词)
- obedience [ə´bi:djəns] n.服从;顺从 (高中英语单词)
- mutual [´mju:tʃuəl] a.相互的;共同的 (高中英语单词)
- concerned [kən´sə:nd] a.有关的;担心的 (高中英语单词)
- mistaken [mis´teikən] mistake的过去分词 (高中英语单词)
- typical [´tipikəl] a.典型的;象征的 (高中英语单词)
- strict [strikt] a.严厉的;精确的 (高中英语单词)
- compact [´kɔmpækt] n.契约 a.挤满的 (高中英语单词)
- exceedingly [ik´si:diŋli] ad.非常地,极度地 (高中英语单词)
- saying [´seiŋ, ´sei-iŋ] n.言语;言论;格言 (高中英语单词)
- contemplate [´kɔntempleit] v.注视;沉思;期待 (高中英语单词)
- sincerely [sin´siəli] ad.真诚地;诚恳地 (高中英语单词)
- profess [prə´fes] v.声称;讲授 (高中英语单词)
- apparently [ə´pærəntli] ad.显然,表面上地 (高中英语单词)
- observance [əb´zə:vəns] n.遵守;惯例;仪式 (英语四级单词)
- swerve [swə:v] v.&n.(使)突然转向 (英语四级单词)
- sordid [´sɔ:did] a.(指环境等)肮脏的 (英语四级单词)
- delighted [di´laitid] a.高兴的;喜欢的 (英语四级单词)
- bridegroom [´braidgru:m] n.新郎 (英语四级单词)
- embark [im´bɑ:k] v.上船;装载;开始 (英语四级单词)
- trusty [´trʌsti] a.可靠的 n.可信任的 (英语四级单词)
- arbitrary [´ɑ:bitrəri] a.任意的;专断的 (英语四级单词)
- respective [ri´spektiv] a.各自的,各个的 (英语四级单词)
- subordinate [sə´bɔ:dinət] a.次的,附属的 n.部属 (英语四级单词)
- confidential [,kɔnfi´denʃəl] a.极受信任的;心腹的 (英语四级单词)
- conscientious [,kɔnʃi´enʃəs] a.认真的;谨慎的 (英语四级单词)
- injunction [in´dʒʌŋkʃən] n.指令;法院禁令 (英语四级单词)
- universally [,ju:ni´və:səli] ad.普遍地 (英语四级单词)
- secondly [´sekəndli] a.第二(点);其次 (英语六级单词)
- sprightly [´spraitli] a.活泼的;轻快的 (英语六级单词)
- involuntary [in´vɔləntəri] a.无意识的;非自愿的 (英语六级单词)
- modestly [´mɔdistli] ad.谦虚地;有节制地 (英语六级单词)
- self-control [,self´kəntrəul] n.自我克制 (英语六级单词)
- filial [´filiəl] a.子女的;孝顺的 (英语六级单词)
- cultivated [´kʌltiveitid] a.在耕作的;有教养的 (英语六级单词)
- emphatically [im´fætikəli] ad.强调地;断然地 (英语六级单词)
- thoughtless [´θɔ:tləs] a.粗心的,轻率的 (英语六级单词)
- fitness [fitnis] n.适合;健康 (英语六级单词)
- impartial [im´pɑ:ʃəl] a.公平的,无私的 (英语六级单词)
- immemorial [,imi´mɔ:riəl] a.太古的,极古的 (英语六级单词)