he would be placed below one or two whom he thought he ought to be above,
and who, he
therefore considered, would be usurping his
rightful position.
In
disgust he refused to attend the dinner, which, excepting for what
he imagined was a
breach of manners, he would have been very pleased
to have attended. Americans are much more sensible.
They are not a bit
sensitive, especially in small matters.
Either they are broad-minded enough to rise above
worthy" target="_blank" title="a.不值得的;不足道的">
unworthy trifles,
or else their good Americanism prevents their squabbling
over questions of precedence, at the dinner table or elsewhere.
Americans act up to their Declaration of Independence,
especially the principle it enunciates
concerning the
equality of man.
They lay so much importance on this that they do not
confine its application
to legal rights, but extend it even to social
intercourse. In fact,
I think this
doctrine is the basis of the
so-called American manners.
All men are deemed
socially equal, whether as friend and friend,
as President and citizen, as
employer and employee, as master and servant,
or as parent and child. Their
relationship may be such
that one is entitled to demand, and the other to render,
certain acts of
obedience, and a certain
amount of respect,
but outside that they are on the same level. This is
doubtless a rebellion
against all the social ideas and prejudices of the old world,
but it is perhaps only what might be looked for in a new country,
full of
robust and
ambitiousmanhood, disdainful of all traditions
which in the least savor of
monarchy or hierarchy, and eager to blaze
as new a path for itself in the social as it has succeeded
in accomplishing in the political world. Combined with this
is the American
characteristic of saving time. Time is precious to all of us,
but to Americans it is particularly so. We all wish to save time,
but the Americans care much more about it than the rest of us.
Then there are different notions about this question of saving time,
different notions of what wastes time and what does not,
and much which the old world regards as
politeness and good manners
Americans consider as sheer waste of time. Time is, they think,
far too precious to be occupied with ceremonies which appear
empty and meaningless. It can, they say, be much more profitably filled
with other and more useful occupations. In any
discussion of American manners
it would be
unfair to leave out of
consideration their indifference
to
ceremony and their highly developed sense of the value of time,
but in
saying this I do not forget that many Americans are
devout ritualists,
and that these find both comfort and pleasure in
ceremony,
which suggests that after all there is something to be said for the Chinese
who have raised correct
deportment almost to the rank of a religion.
The youth of America have not unnaturally caught the spirit of their elders,
so that even children consider themselves as almost on a par
with their parents, as almost on the same plane of
equality;
but the parents, on the other hand, also treat them as if they were equals,
and allow them the
utmost freedom. While a Chinese child
renders unquestioning
obedience to his parents' orders,
such
obedience as a soldier yields to his superior officer,
the American child must have the whys and the wherefores
duly explained to him, and the reason for his
obedience made clear.
It is not his parent that he obeys, but expediency and the dictates of reason.
Here we see the clear-headed, sound, common-sense business man in the making.
The early training of the boy has laid the
foundation for the future man.
The child too has no compunction in correcting a parent even before strangers,
and what is stranger still the parent accepts the
correction in good part,
and sometimes even with thanks. A parent is often interrupted
in the course of a
narrative, or
discussion, by a small piping voice,
setting right, or what it believes to be right, some date, place, or fact,
and the parent, after a word of
encouragement or thanks, proceeds.
How different is our rule that a child is not to speak until
spoken to!
In Chinese official life under the old
regime it was not etiquette
for one official to
contradict another, especially when
they were
unequal in rank. When a high official expressed views
which his subordinates did not
endorse, they could not candidly
give their opinion, but had to remain silent. I remember that
some years ago some of my colleagues and I had an audience
with a very high official, and when I expressed my dissent
from some of the views of that high functionary, he rebuked me severely.
Afterward he called me to him
privately, and spoke to me somewhat as follows:
"What you said just now was quite correct. I was wrong,
and I will adopt your views, but you must not
contradict me
in the presence of other people. Do not do it again."
There is of course much to be said for and against each system,
and perhaps a blend of the two would give good results.
Anyhow, we can trace in American customs that spirit of
equalitywhich pervades the whole of American society, and observe the germs
of self-reliance and
independence so
characteristic of Americans,
whether men, women, or children.
Even the
domestic servant does not lose this precious American heritage
of
equality. I have nothing to say against that
worthy individual,
the American servant (if one can be found); on the
contrary,
none is more
faithful or more
efficient. But in some respects he is unique
among the servants of the world. He does not see that there is any in
equalitybetween him and his master. His master, or should I say, his
employer,
pays him certain wages to do certain work, and he does it,
but outside the bounds of this contract, they are still man and man,
citizen and citizen. It is all
beautifully,
delightfully legal.
The washerwoman is the "wash-lady", and is just as much a lady
as her
mistress. The word "servant" is not
applied to
domestics,
"help" is used instead, very much in the same way that Canada and Australia
are no longer English "colonies", but "self-governing dominions".
We of the old world are accustomed to regard
domestic service
as a
profession in which the members work for advancement,
without much thought of ever changing their position.
A few clever persons may
ultimately adopt another
profession,
and, according to our antiquated
conservative ways of thinking,
rise higher in the social scale, but, for the large majority,
the
dignity of a
butler, or a
housekeeper is the
height of ambition,
the crowning point in their
career. Not so the American servant.
Strictly
speaking there are no servants in America. The man, or the woman
as the case may be, who happens for the moment to be your servant,
is only servant for the time being. He has no intention
of making
domestic service his
profession, of being a servant
for the whole of his life. To have to be subject to the will of others,
even to the small
extent to which American servants are subordinate,
is
offensive to an American's pride of
citizenship, it is
contrary to
his
conception of American
equality. He is a servant only for the time,
and until he finds something better to do. He accepts a menial position
only as a stepping stone to some more independent employment.
Is it to be wondered at that American servants have different manners
from their brethren in other countries? When foreigners find
that American servants are not like servants in their own country,
they should not
resent their
behavior: it does not
denote disrespect,
it is only the outcrop of their natural
independence and aspirations.
All titles of
nobility are by the Constitution
expressly forbidden.
Even titles of honor or
courtesy are but
rarely used. "Honorable" is used
to
designate members of Congress; and for a few Americans, such as
the President and the Ambassadors, the title "Excellency" is permitted. Yet,
whether it is because the persons entitled to be so addressed do not think
that even these mild titles are
consistent with American democracy,
or because the American public feels
awkward in employing such stilted
terms of address, they are not often used. I remember that on one occasion
a much respected Chief Executive, on my proposing, in
accordance with
diplomatic usage and
precedent, to address him as "Your Excellency",
begged me to
substitute instead "Mr. President". The plain democratic "Mr."
suits the democratic American taste much better than any other title,
and is
appliedequally to the President of the Republic and to his coachman.
Indeed the plain name John Smith, without even "Mr.", not only gives
no
offense, where some higher title might be employed, but fits just as well,
and is in fact often used. Even
prominent and
distinguished" target="_blank" title="a.卓越的,著名的">
distinguished men
do not
resent nicknames; for example, the
celebrated person
whose name is so
intimately connected with that delight
of American children and grown-ups -- the "Teddy Bear".
This
characteristic, like so many other American
characteristics,
is due not only to the love of
equality and
independence,
but also to the
dislike of any waste of time.
In countries where there are
elaborate rules of etiquette
concerning titles and forms of address, none but a Master of Ceremonies
can hope to be
thoroughly familiar with them, or to be able
to address the
distinguished" target="_blank" title="a.卓越的,著名的">
distinguished people without withholding from them