The very best
talker, with me, is one whom I shall call Spring-
Heel'd Jack. I say so, because I never knew any one who mingled so
largely the possible ingredients of
converse. In the Spanish
proverb, the fourth man necessary to
compound a salad, is a
madmanto mix it: Jack is that
madman. I know not which is more
remarkable; the
insane lucidity of his conclusions the
humorouseloquence of his language, or his power of method, bringing the
whole of life into the focus of the subject treated, mixing the
conversational salad like a
drunken god. He doubles like the
serpent, changes and flashes like the
shaken kaleidoscope,
transmigrates
bodily into the views of others, and so, in the
twinkling of an eye and with a heady
rapture, turns questions
inside out and flings them empty before you on the ground, like a
triumphant conjuror. It is my common practice when a piece of
conduct puzzles me, to attack it in the presence of Jack with such
grossness, such partiality and such wearing iteration, as at length
shall spur him up in its defence. In a moment he transmigrates,
dons the required
character, and with moonstruck philosophy
justifies the act in question. I can fancy nothing to compare with
the VIM of these impersonations, the strange scale of language,
flying from Shakespeare to Kant, and from Kant to Major Dyngwell -
"As fast as a
musician scatters sounds
Out of an instrument"
the sudden,
sweeping generalisations, the
absurd irrelevant
particularities, the wit,
wisdom, folly,
humour,
eloquence and
bathos, each
startling in its kind, and yet all
luminous in the
admired
disorder of their
combination. A
talker of a different
calibre, though belonging to the same school, is Burly. Burly is a
man of a great presence; he commands a larger
atmosphere, gives the
impression of a grosser mass of
character than most men. It has
been said of him that his presence could be felt in a room you
entered blindfold; and the same, I think, has been said of other
powerful
constitutions
condemned to much
physical inaction. There
is something
boisterous and piratic in Burly's manner of talk which
suits well enough with this
impression. He will roar you down, he
will bury his face in his hands, he will
undergo passions of revolt
and agony; and
meanwhile his attitude of mind is really both
conciliatory and receptive; and after Pistol has been out Pistol'd,
and the welkin rung for hours, you begin to
perceive a certain
subsidence in these spring torrents, points of
agreement issue, and
you end arm-in-arm, and in a glow of
mutualadmiration. The outcry
only serves to make your final union the more
unexpected and
precious. Throughout there has been perfect
sincerity, perfect
intelligence, a desire to hear although not always to listen, and
an unaffected
eagerness to meet concessions. You have, with Burly,
none of the dangers that attend
debate with Spring-Heel'd Jack; who
may at any moment turn his powers of transmigration on yourself,
create for you a view you never held, and then
furiously fall on
you for
holding it. These, at least, are my two favourites, and
both are loud,
copious, intolerant
talkers. This argues that I
myself am in the same
category; for if we love talking at all, we
love a bright,
fierceadversary, who will hold his ground, foot by
foot, in much our own manner, sell his attention
dearly, and give
us our full
measure of the dust and
exertion of battle. Both these
men can be beat from a position, but it takes six hours to do it; a
high and hard adventure, worth attempting. With both you can pass
days in an enchanted country of the mind, with people,
scenery and
manners of its own; live a life apart, more
arduous, active and
glowing than any real
existence; and come forth again when the talk
is over, as out of a theatre or a dream, to find the east wind
still blowing and the chimney-pots of the old battered city still
around you. Jack has the far finer mind, Burly the far more
honest; Jack gives us the
animatedpoetry, Burly the romantic
prose, of similar themes; the one glances high like a
meteor and
makes a light in darkness; the other, with many changing hues of
fire, burns at the sea-level, like a conflagration; but both have
the same
humour and
artistic interests, the same unquenched ardour
in
pursuit, the same gusts of talk and thunderclaps of
contradiction.
Cockshot (5) is a different article, but
vastly entertaining, and
has been meat and drink to me for many a long evening. His manner
is dry, brisk and pertinacious, and the choice of words not much.
The point about him is his
extraordinaryreadiness and spirit. You
can propound nothing but he has either a theory about it ready-
made, or will have one
instantly on the stocks, and proceed to lay
its timbers and
launch it in your presence. "Let me see," he will
say. "Give me a moment. I SHOULD have some theory for that." A
blither
spectacle than the
vigour with which he sets about the
task, it were hard to fancy. He is possessed by a demoniac
energy,
welding the elements for his life, and bending ideas, as an athlete
bends a horse-shoe, with a
visible and
lively effort. He has, in
theorising, a
compass, an art; what I would call the synthetic
gusto; something of a Herbert Spencer, who should see the fun of
the thing. You are not bound, and no more is he, to place your
faith in these brand-new opinions. But some of them are right
enough,
durable even for life; and the poorest serve for a cock shy
- as when idle people, after picnics, float a bottle on a pond and
have an hour's
diversion ere it sinks. Whichever they are, serious
opinions or
humours of the moment, he still defends his ventures
with indefatigable wit and spirit, hitting
savagely himself, but
taking
punishment like a man. He knows and never forgets that
people talk, first of all, for the sake of talking; conducts
himself in the ring, to use the old slang, like a thorough
"glutton," and
honestly enjoys a telling facer from his
adversary.
Cockshot is bottled effervescency, the sworn foe of sleep. Three-
in-the-morning Cockshot, says a
victim. His talk is like the
driest of all imaginable dry champagnes. Sleight of hand and
inimitable quickness are the qualities by which he lives.
Athelred, on the other hand, presents you with the
spectacle of a
sincere and somewhat slow nature thinking aloud. He is the most
unready man I ever knew to shine in conversation. You may see him
sometimes
wrestle with a refractory jest for a minute or two
together, and perhaps fail to throw it in the end. And there is
something singularly engaging, often
instructive, in the simplicity
with which he thus exposes the process as well as the result, the
works as well as the dial of the clock. Withal he has his hours of
inspiration. Apt words come to him as if by accident, and, coming
from deeper down, they smack the more
personally, they have the
more of fine old crusted
humanity, rich in sediment and
humour.
There are sayings of his in which he has stamped himself into the
very grain of the language; you would think he must have worn the
words next his skin and slept with them. Yet it is not as a sayer
of particular good things that Athelred is most to he regarded,
rather as the stalwart
woodman of thought. I have pulled on a
light cord often enough, while he has been wielding the broad-axe;
and between us, on this
unequal division, many a specious fallacy
has fallen. I have known him to battle the same question night
after night for years, keeping it in the reign of talk, constantly
applying it and re-applying it to life with
humorous or grave
intention, and all the while, never hurrying, nor flagging, nor
taking an
unfairadvantage of the facts. Jack at a given moment,
when arising, as it were, from the tripod, can be more radiantly
just to those from whom he differs; but then the tenor of his
thoughts is even calumnious; while Athelred, slower to forge
excuses, is yet slower to
condemn, and sits over the welter of the
world, vacillating but still
judicial, and still faithfully
contending with his doubts.
Both the last
talkers deal much in points of conduct and religion
studied in the "dry light" of prose. Indirectly and as if against
his will the same elements from time to time appear in the troubled
and
poetic talk of Opalstein. His various and exotic knowledge,
complete although unready sympathies, and fine, full,
discriminative flow of language, fit him out to be the best of
talkers; so perhaps he is with some, not quite with me - PROXIME
ACCESSIT, I should say. He sings the praises of the earth and the
arts, flowers and jewels, wine and music, in a moonlight,
serenading manner, as to the light
guitar; even
wisdom comes from
his tongue like singing; no one is, indeed, more tuneful in the
upper notes. But even while he sings the song of the Sirens, he
still hearkens to the barking of the Sphinx. Jarring Byronic notes
interrupt the flow of his Horatian
humours. His mirth has