worth a groat. My plan,' she continued, 'was to take a house, and
let out lodgings; and all went on well, till my husband got acquainted

with an impudent slut, who chose to live on other people's means--and
then all went to rack and ruin. He ran in debt to buy her fine

clothes, such clothes as I never thought of wearing myself, and--would
you believe it?--he signed an execution on my very goods, bought

with the money I worked so hard to get; and they came and took my
bed from under me, before I heard a word of the matter. Aye, madam,

these are misfortunes that you gentlefolks know nothing of,--but
sorrow is sorrow, let it come which way it will.

"'I sought for a service again--very hard, after having a
house of my own!--but he used to follow me, and kick up such a riot

when he was drunk, that I could not keep a place; nay, he even
stole my clothes, and pawned them; and when I went to the

pawnbroker's, and offered to take my oath that they were not bought
with a farthing of his money, they said, 'It was all as one, my

husband had a right to whatever I had.'
"'At last he listed for a soldier, and I took a house, making

an agreement to pay for the furniture by degrees; and I almost
starved myself, till I once more got before-hand in the world.

"'After an absence of six years (God forgive me! I thought he
was dead) my husband returned; found me out, and came with such a

penitent face, I forgave him, and clothed him from head to foot.
But he had not been a week in the house, before some of his creditors

arrested him; and, he selling my goods, I found myself once more
reduced to beggary; for I was not as well able to work, go to bed

late, and rise early, as when I quitted service; and then I thought
it hard enough. He was soon tired of me, when there was nothing

more to be had, and left me again.
"I will not tell you how I was buffeted about, till, hearing

for certain that he had died in an hospital abroad, I once more
returned to my old occupation; but have not yet been able to get

my head above water: so, madam, you must not be angry if I am afraid
to run any risk, when I know so well, that women have always the

worst of it, when law is to decide.'
"After uttering a few more complaints, I prevailed on my

landlady to go out in quest of a lodging; and, to be more secure,
I condescended to the mean shift of changing my name.

"But why should I dwell on similar incidents!--I was hunted,
like an infected beast, from three different apartments, and should

not have been allowed to rest in any, had not Mr. Venables, informed
of my uncle's dangerous state of health, been inspired with the

fear of hurrying me out of the world as I advanced in my pregnancy,
by thus tormenting and obliging me to take sudden journeys to avoid

him; and then his speculations on my uncle's fortune must prove
abortive.

"One day, when he had pursued me to an inn, I fainted, hurrying
from him; and, falling down, the sight of my blood alarmed him,

and obtained a respite for me. It is strange that he should have
retained any hope, after observing my unwavering determination;

but, from the mildness of my behaviour, when I found all my endeavours
to change his disposition unavailing, he formed an erroneous opinion

of my character, imagining that, were we once more together,
I should part with the money he could not legally force from me,

with the same facility as formerly. My forbearance and occasional
sympathy he had mistaken for weakness of character; and, because

he perceived that I disliked resistance, he thought my indulgence
and compassion mere selfishness, and never discovered that the fear

of being unjust, or of unnecessarily wounding the feelings of
another, was much more painful to me, than any thing I could have

to endure myself. Perhaps it was pride which made me imagine, that
I could bear what I dreaded to inflict; and that it was often easier

to suffer, than to see the sufferings of others.
"I forgot to mention that, during this persecution, I received

a letter from my uncle, informing me, 'that he only found relief
from continual change of air; and that he intended to return when

the spring was a little more advanced (it was now the middle of
February), and then we would plan a journey to Italy, leaving the

fogs and cares of England far behind.' He approved of my conduct,
promised to adopt my child, and seemed to have no doubt of obliging

Mr. Venables to hear reason. He wrote to his friend, by the same
post, desiring him to call on Mr. Venables in his name; and, in

consequence of the remonstrances he dictated, I was permitted
to lie-in tranquilly.

"The two or three weeks previous, I had been allowed to rest
in peace; but, so accustomed was I to pursuit and alarm, that I

seldom closed my eyes without being haunted by Mr. Venables' image,
who seemed to assume terrific or hateful forms to torment me,

wherever I turned.--Sometimes a wild cat, a roaring bull, or hideous
assassin, whom I vainly attempted to fly; at others he was a demon,

hurrying me to the brink of a precipice, plunging me into dark
waves, or horrid gulfs; and I woke, in violent fits of trembling

anxiety, to assure myself that it was all a dream, and to endeavour
to lure my waking thoughts to wander to the delightful Italian

vales, I hoped soon to visit; or to picture some august ruins,
where I reclined in fancy on a mouldering column, and escaped, in

the contemplation of the heart-enlarging virtues of antiquity, from
the turmoil of cares that had depressed all the daring purposes of

my soul. But I was not long allowed to calm my mind by the exercise
of my imagination; for the third day after your birth, my child,

I was surprised by a visit from my elder brother; who came in the
most abrupt manner, to inform me of the death of my uncle. He had

left the greater part of his fortune to my child, appointing me
its guardian; in short, every step was taken to enable me to be

mistress of his fortune, without putting any part of it in Mr.
Venables' power. My brother came to vent his rage on me, for having,

as he expressed himself, 'deprived him, my uncle's eldest nephew,
of his inheritance;' though my uncle's property, the fruit of his

own exertion, being all in the funds, or on landed securities,
there was not a shadow of justice in the charge.

"As I sincerely loved my uncle, this intelligence brought on
a fever, which I struggled to conquer with all the energy of my

mind; for, in my desolate state, I had it very much at heart to
suckle you, my poor babe. You seemed my only tie to life, a cherub,

to whom I wished to be a father, as well as a mother; and the double
duty appeared to me to produce a proportionate increase of affection.

But the pleasure I felt, while sustaining you, snatched from the
wreck of hope, was cruelly damped by melancholy reflections on my

widowed state--widowed by the death of my uncle. Of Mr. Venables
I thought not, even when I thought of the felicity of loving your

father, and how a mother's pleasure might be exalted, and her care
softened by a husband's tenderness.--'Ought to be!' I exclaimed;

and I endeavoured to drive away the tenderness that suffocated me;
but my spirits were weak, and the unbidden tears would flow. 'Why

was I,' I would ask thee, but thou didst not heed me,--'cut off
from the participation of the sweetest pleasure of life?' I imagined

with what extacy, after the pains of child-bed, I should have
presented my little stranger, whom I had so long wished to view,

to a respectable father, and with what maternalfondness I should
have pressed them both to my heart!--Now I kissed her with less

delight, though with the most endearing compassion, poor helpless
one! when I perceived a slight resemblance of him, to whom she owed

her existence; or, if any gesture reminded me of him, even in his
best days, my heart heaved, and I pressed the innocent to my bosom,

as if to purify it--yes, I blushed to think that its purity had
been sullied, by allowing such a man to be its father.

"After my recovery, I began to think of taking a house in the
country, or of making an excursion on the continent, to avoid Mr.

Venables; and to open my heart to new pleasures and affection.
The spring was melting into summer, and you, my little companion,

began to smile--that smile made hope bud out afresh, assuring me
the world was not a desert. Your gestures were ever present to my

fancy; and I dwelt on the joy I should feel when you would begin
to walk and lisp. Watching your wakening mind, and shielding from

every rude blast my tender blossom, I recovered my spirits--I
dreamed not of the frost--'the killing frost,' to which you were

destined to be exposed.--But I lose all patience--and execrate the
injustice of the world--folly! ignorance!--I should rather call

it; but, shut up from a free circulation of thought, and always
pondering on the same griefs, I writhe under the torturing