whom she had taken into her house out of pure charity?' What a

torrent of abuse rushed out? till, almost breathless, she concluded
with saying, 'that I was born a strumpet; it ran in my blood,

and nothing good could come to those who harboured me.'
"My situation was, of course, discovered, and she declared

that I should not stay another night under the same roof with an
honest family. I was therefore pushed out of doors, and my trumpery

thrown after me, when it had been contemptuously examined in the
passage, lest I should have stolen any thing.

"Behold me then in the street, utterly destitute! Whither
could I creep for shelter? To my father's roof I had no claim, when

not pursued by shame--now I shrunk back as from death, from my
mother's cruel reproaches, my father's execrations. I could not

endure to hear him curse the day I was born, though life had been
a curse to me. Of death I thought, but with a confused emotion of

terror, as I stood leaning my head on a post, and starting at every
footstep, lest it should be my mistress coming to tear my heart

out. One of the boys of the shop passing by, heard my tale, and
immediately repaired to his master, to give him a description of

my situation; and he touched the right key--the scandal it would
give rise to, if I were left to repeat my tale to every enquirer.

This plea came home to his reason, who had been sobered by his
wife's rage, the fury of which fell on him when I was out of her

reach, and he sent the boy to me with half-a-guinea, desiring him
to conduct me to a house, where beggars, and other wretches,

the refuse of society, nightly lodged.
This night was spent in a state of stupefaction, or desperation.

I detested mankind, and abhorred myself.
"In the morning I ventured out, to throw myself in my master's

way, at his usual hour of going abroad. I approached him, he
'damned me for a b----, declared I had disturbed the peace of the

family, and that he had sworn to his wife, never to take any more
notice of me.' He left me; but, instantly returning, he told me

that he should speak to his friend, a parish-officer, to get a
nurse for the brat I laid to him; and advised me, if I wished to

keep out of the house of correction, not to make free with his
name.

"I hurried back to my hole, and, rage giving place to despair,
sought for the potion that was to procure abortion, and swallowed

it, with a wish that it might destroy me, at the same time that it
stopped the sensations of new-born life, which I felt with

indescribable emotion. My head turned round, my heart grew sick,
and in the horrors of approaching dissolution, mentalanguish was

swallowed up. The effect of the medicine was violent, and I was
confined to my bed several days; but, youth and a strong constitution

prevailing, I once more crawled out, to ask myself the cruel
question, 'Whither I should go?' I had but two shillings left in

my pocket, the rest had been expended, by a poor woman who slept
in the same room, to pay for my lodging, and purchase the necessaries

of which she partook.
"With this wretch I went into the neighbouring streets to beg,

and my disconsolate appearance drew a few pence from the idle,
enabling me still to command a bed; till, recovering from my illness,

and taught to put on my rags to the best advantage, I was accosted
from different motives, and yielded to the desire of the brutes I

met, with the same detestation that I had felt for my still more
brutal master. I have since read in novels of the blandishments

of seduction, but I had not even the pleasure of being enticed
into vice.

"I shall not," interrupted Jemima, "lead your imagination into
all the scenes of wretchedness and depravity, which I was condemned

to view; or mark the different stages of my debasing misery. Fate
dragged me through the very kennels of society: I was still a slave,

a bastard, a common property. Become familiar with vice, for I wish
to conceal nothing from you, I picked the pockets of the drunkards

who abused me; and proved by my conduct, that I deserved the
epithets, with which they loaded me at moments when distrust

ought to cease.
"Detesting my nightlyoccupation, though valuing, if I may so

use the word, my independence, which only consisted in choosing
the street in which I should wander, or the roof, when I had money,

in which I should hide my head, I was some time before I could
prevail on myself to accept of a place in a house of ill fame, to

which a girl, with whom I had accidentallyconversed in the street,
had recommended me. I had been hunted almost into a fever, by the

watchmen of the quarter of the town I frequented; one, whom I had
unwittingly offended, giving the word to the whole pack. You can

scarcely conceive the tyranny exercised by these wretches: considering
themselves as the instruments of the very laws they violate, the

pretext which steels their conscience, hardens their heart. Not
content with receiving from us, outlaws of society (let other women

talk of favours) a brutalgratification gratuitously as a privilege
of office, they extort a tithe of prostitution, and harrass with

threats the poor creatures whose occupation affords not the means
to silence the growl of avarice. To escape from this persecution,

I once more entered into servitude.
"A life of comparative regularity restored my health; and--

do not start--my manners were improved, in a situation where vice
sought to render itself alluring, and taste was cultivated to

fashion the person, if not to refine the mind. Besides, the common
civility of speech, contrasted with the gross vulgarity to which

I had been accustomed, was something like the polish of civilization.
I was not shut out from all intercourse of humanity. Still I was

galled by the yoke of service, and my mistress often flying into
violent fits of passion, made me dread a sudden dismission, which

I understood was always the case. I was therefore prevailed on,
though I felt a horror of men, to accept the offer of a gentleman,

rather in the decline of years, to keep his house, pleasantly
situated in a little village near Hampstead.

"He was a man of great talents, and of brilliant wit; but, a
worn-out votary of voluptuousness, his desires became fastidious

in proportion as they grew weak, and the native tenderness of his
heart was undermined by a vitiated imagination. A thoughtless

carreer of libertinism and social enjoyment, had injured his health
to such a degree, that, whatever pleasure his conversation afforded

me (and my esteem was ensured by proofs of the generoushumanity
of his disposition), the being his mistress was purchasing it at

a very dear rate. With such a keen perception of the delicacies
of sentiment, with an imagination invigorated by the exercise of

genius, how could he sink into the grossness of sensuality!
"But, to pass over a subject which I recollect with pain,

I must remark to you, as an answer to your often-repeated question,
'Why my sentiments and language were superior to my station?' that

I now began to read, to beguile the tediousness of solitude, and
to gratify an inquisitive, active mind. I had often, in my childhood,

followed a ballad-singer, to hear the sequel of a dismal story,
though sure of being severely punished for delaying to return with

whatever I was sent to purchase. I could just spell and put a
sentence together, and I listened to the various arguments, though

often mingled with obscenity, which occurred at the table where I
was allowed to preside: for a literary friend or two frequently

came home with my master, to dine and pass the night. Having lost
the privileged respect of my sex, my presence, instead of restraining,

perhaps gave the reins to their tongues; still I had the advantage
of hearing discussions, from which, in the common course of life,

women are excluded.
"You may easily imagine, that it was only by degrees that I

could comprehend some of the subjects they investigated, or acquire
from their reasoning what might be termed a moral sense. But my

fondness of reading increasing, and my master occasionally shutting
himself up in this retreat, for weeks together, to write, I had

many opportunities of improvement. At first, considering money (I
was right!" exclaimed Jemima, altering her tone of voice) "as the

only means, after my loss of reputation, of obtaining respect, or
even the toleration of humanity, I had not the least scruple to

secrete a part of the sums intrusted to me, and to screen myself
from detection by a system of falshood. But, acquiring new

principles, I began to have the ambition of returning to the
respectable part of society, and was weak enough to suppose it