she dropped, with a sudden sob, upon my sofa and, as I had seen her do before,
gave way to all the grief of it.

It was quite in another manner that I, for my part, let myself go.
"Oh, thank God!"

She sprang up again at this, drying her eyes with a groan. "'Thank God'?"
"It so justifies me!"

"It does that, miss!"
I couldn't have desired more emphasis, but I just hesitated.

"She's so horrible?"
I saw my colleaguescarce knew how to put it. "Really shocking."

"And about me?"
"About you, miss--since you must have it. It's beyond everything,

for a young lady; and I can't think wherever she must have picked up--"
"The appalling language she applied to me? I can, then!"

I broke in with a laugh that was doubtlesssignificant enough.
It only, in truth, left my friend still more grave.

"Well, perhaps I ought to also--since I've heard some of it before!
Yet I can't bear it," the poor woman went on while, with the same movement,

she glanced, on my dressing table, at the face of my watch.
"But I must go back."

I kept her, however. "Ah, if you can't bear it--!"
"How can I stop with her, you mean? Why, just FOR that:

to get her away. Far from this," she pursued, "far from THEM-"
"She may be different? She may be free?" I seized her almost with joy.

"Then, in spite of yesterday, you BELIEVE--"
"In such doings?" Her simple description of them required,

in the light of her expression, to be carried no further,
and she gave me the whole thing as she had never done.

"I believe."
Yes, it was a joy, and we were still shoulder to shoulder: if I might

continue sure of that I should care but little what else happened.
My support in the presence of disaster would be the same as it had

been in my early need of confidence, and if my friend would answer
for my honesty, I would answer for all the rest. On the point of

taking leave of her, nonetheless, I was to some extent embarrassed.
"There's one thing, of course--it occurs to me--to remember.

My letter, giving the alarm, will have reached town before you."
I now perceived still more how she had been beating about the bush and

how weary at last it had made her. "Your letter won't have got there.
Your letter never went."

"What then became of it?"
"Goodness knows! Master Miles--"

"Do you mean HE took it?" I gasped.
She hung fire, but she overcame her reluctance. "I mean that I saw yesterday,

when I came back with Miss Flora, that it wasn't where you had put it.
Later in the evening I had the chance to question Luke, and he declared

that he had neither noticed nor touched it." We could only exchange, on this,
one of our deeper mutual soundings, and it was Mrs. Grose who first brought

up the plumb with an almost elated "You see!"
"Yes, I see that if Miles took it instead he probably will have read it

and destroyed it."
"And don't you see anything else?"

I faced her a moment with a sad smile. "It strikes me that by this
time your eyes are open even wider than mine."

They proved to be so indeed, but she could still blush, almost, to show it.
"I make out now what he must have done at school." And she gave,

in her simple sharpness, an almost droll disillusioned nod. "He stole!"
I turned it over--I tried to be more judicial. "Well--perhaps."

She looked as if she found me unexpectedly calm.
"He stole LETTERS!"

She couldn't know my reasons for a calmness after all
pretty shallow; so I showed them off as I might.

"I hope then it was to more purpose than in this case!
The note, at any rate, that I put on the table yesterday,"

I pursued, "will have given him so scant an advantage--
for it contained only the bare demand for an interview--

that he is already much ashamed of having gone so far
for so little, and that what he had on his mind last evening

was precisely the need of confession." I seemed to myself,
for the instant, to have mastered it, to see it all.

"Leave us, leave us"--I was already, at the door, hurrying her off.
"I'll get it out of him. He'll meet me--he'll confess.

If he confesses, he's saved. And if he's saved--"
"Then YOU are?" The dear woman kissed me on this,

and I took her farewell. "I'll save you without him!"
she cried as she went.

XXII
Yet it was when she had got off--and I missed her on the spot--

that the great pinch really came. If I had counted on
what it would give me to find myself alone with Miles,

I speedily perceived, at least, that it would give me a measure.
No hour of my stay in fact was so assailed with apprehensions

as that of my coming down to learn that the carriage containing
Mrs. Grose and my younger pupil had already rolled out of the gates.

Now I WAS, I said to myself, face to face with the elements,
and for much of the rest of the day, while I fought

my weakness, I could consider that I had been supremely rash.
It was a tighter place still than I had yet turned round in;

all the more that, for the first time, I could see in
the aspect of others a confused reflection of the crisis.

What had happened naturally caused them all to stare;
there was too little of the explained, throw out whatever we might,

in the suddenness of my colleague's act. The maids and the men
looked blank; the effect of which on my nerves was an aggravation

until I saw the necessity of making it a positive aid.
It was precisely, in short, by just clutching the helm

that I avoided total wreck; and I dare say that, to bear up
at all, I became, that morning, very grand and very dry.

I welcomed the consciousness" target="_blank" title="n.意识；觉悟；知觉">consciousness that I was charged with much to do,
and I caused it to be known as well that, left thus to myself,

I was quite remarkably firm. I wandered with that manner,
for the next hour or two, all over the place and looked,

I have no doubt, as if I were ready for any onset.
So, for the benefit of whom it might concern, I paraded

with a sick heart.
The person it appeared least to concern proved to be,

till dinner, little Miles himself. My perambulations had
given me, meanwhile, no glimpse of him, but they had tended

to make more public the change taking place in our relation
as a consequence of his having at the piano, the day before,

kept me, in Flora's interest, so beguiled and befooled.
The stamp of publicity had of course been fully given by her

confinement and departure, and the change itself was now ushered
in by our nonobservance of the regular custom of the schoolroom.

He had already disappeared when, on my way down, I pushed
open his door, and I learned below that he had breakfasted--

in the presence of a couple of the maids--with Mrs. Grose
and his sister. He had then gone out, as he said, for a stroll;

than which nothing, I reflected, could better have expressed
his frank view of the abrupttransformation of my office.

What he would not permit this office to consist of was yet
to be settled: there was a queer relief, at all events--I mean

for myself in especial--in the renouncement of one pretension.
If so much had sprung to the surface, I scarce put it too

strongly in saying that what had perhaps sprung highest
was the absurdity of our prolonging the fiction that I had

anything more to teach him. It sufficiently stuck out that,
by tacit little tricks in which even more than myself he carried

out the care for my dignity, I had had to appeal to him to let me
off straining to meet him on the ground of his true capacity.

He had at any rate his freedom now; I was never to touch it again;
as I had amply shown, moreover, when, on his joining me in