dreadfully. But, strange to say, poor Taillefer, though he suffers
untold agony, is in no danger of dying. He eats and drinks as well as
ever during even short cessations of the pain--nature is so queer! A
German doctor told him it was a form of gout in the head, and that
agrees with Brousson's opinion."
I left the group around the
mistress of the house and went away. On
the
staircase I met Mademoiselle Taillefer, whom a
footman had come to
fetch.
"Oh!" she said to me,
weeping, "what has my poor father ever done to
deserve such suffering?--so kind as he is!"
I accompanied her
downstairs and assisted her in getting into the
carriage, and there I saw her father bent almost double.
Mademoiselle Taillefer tried to
stifle his moans by putting her
handkerchief to his mouth; unhappily he saw me; his face became even
more distorted, a convulsive cry rent the air, and he gave me a
dreadful look as the
carriage rolled away.
That dinner, that evening exercised a cruel influence on my life and
on my feelings. I loved Mademoiselle Taillefer,
precisely, perhaps,
because honor and
decencyforbid的过去式">
forbade me to marry the daughter of a
murderer, however good a husband and father he might be. A curious
fatality impelled me to visit those houses where I knew I could meet
Victorine; often, after giving myself my word of honor to
renounce the
happiness of
seeing her, I found myself that same evening beside her.
My struggles were great. Legitimate love, full of chimerical remorse,
assumed the color of a
criminalpassion. I despised myself for bowing
to Taillefer when, by chance, he accompanied his daughter, but I bowed
to him all the same.
Alas! for my
misfortune Victorine is not only a pretty girl, she is
also educated,
intelligent, full of
talent and of charm, without the
slightest pedantry or the faintest tinge of
assumption. She converses
with reserve, and her nature has a
melancholy grace which no one can
resist. She loves me, or at least she lets me think so; she has a
certain smile which she keeps for me alone; for me, her voice grows
softer still. Oh, yes! she loves me! But she adores her father; she
tells me of his kindness, his
gentleness, his excellent qualities.
Those praises are so many dagger-thrusts with which she stabs me to
the heart.
One day I came near making myself the accomplice, as it were, of the
crime which led to the opulence of the Taillefer family. I was on the
point of asking the father for Victorine's hand. But I fled; I
travelled; I went to Germany, to Andernach; and then--I returned! I
found Victorine pale, and thinner; if I had seen her well in health
and gay, I should certainly have been saved. Instead of which my love
burst out again with
untoldviolence. Fearing that my scruples might
degenerate into monomania, I
resolved to convoke a sanhedrim of sound
consciences, and
obtain from them some light on this problem of high
morality and philosophy,--a problem which had been, as we shall see,
still further
complicated since my return.
Two days ago,
therefore, I collected those of my friends to whom I
attribute most
delicacy, probity, and honor. I invited two Englishmen,
the secretary of an
embassy, and a
puritan; a former
minister, now a
mature
statesman; a
priest, an old man; also my former
guardian, a
simple-hearted being who rendered so loyal a
guardianship
account that
the memory of it is still green at the Palais; besides these, there
were present a judge, a
lawyer, and a notary,--in short, all social
opinions, and all practical
virtues.
We began by dining well, talking well, and making some noise; then, at
dessert, I
related my history candidly, and asked for advice,
concealing, of course, the Taillefer name.
A
profound silence suddenly fell upon the company. Then the notary
took leave. He had, he said, a deed to draw.
The wine and the good dinner had reduced my former
guardian to
silence; in fact I was obliged later in the evening to put him under
guardianship, to make sure of no
mishap to him on his way home.
"I understand!" I cried. "By not giving an opinion you tell me
energetically enough what I ought to do."
On this there came a stir throughout the
assembly.
A
capitalist who had subscribed for the children and tomb of General
Foy exclaimed:--
"Like Virtue's self, a crime has its degrees."
"Rash tongue!" said the former
minister, in a low voice, nudging me
with his elbow.
"Where's your difficulty?" asked a duke whose fortune is derived from
the estates of
stubborn Protestants, confiscated on the revocation of
the Edict of Nantes.
The
lawyer rose, and said:--
"In law, the case submitted to us presents no difficulty. Monsieur le
duc is right!" cried the legal organ. "There are time limitations.
Where should we all be if we had to search into the
origin of
fortunes? This is simply an affair of
conscience. If you must
absolutely carry the case before some
tribunal, go to that of the
confessional."
The Code incarnate ceased
speaking, sat down, and drank a glass of
champagne. The man charged with the duty of explaining the
gospel, the
good
priest, rose.
"God has made us all frail beings," he said
firmly. "If you love the
heiress of that crime, marry her; but content yourself with the
property she derives from her mother; give that of the father to the
poor."
"But," cried one of those
pitiless hair-splitters who are often to be
met with in the world, "perhaps the father could make a rich marriage
only because he was rich himself;
consequently, the marriage was the
fruit of the crime."
"This
discussion is, in itself, a
verdict. There are some things on
which a man does not deliberate," said my former
guardian, who thought
to
enlighten the
assembly with a flash of inebriety.
"Yes!" said the secretary of an
embassy.
"Yes!" said the
priest.
But the two men did not mean the same thing.
A "doctrinaire," who had missed his
election to the Chamber by one
hundred and fifty votes out of one hundred and fifty-five, here rose.
"Messieurs," he said, "this phenomenal
incident of
intellectual nature
is one of those which stand out
vividly from the
normal condition to
which sobriety is subjected. Consequently the decision to be made
ought to be the
spontaneous act of our
consciences, a sudden
conception, a
promptinwardverdict, a
fugitive shadow of our mental
apprehension, much like the flashes of
sentiment which
constitutetaste. Let us vote."
"Let us vote!" cried all my guests.
I have each two balls, one white, one red. The white,
symbol of
virginity, was to
forbid the marriage; the red ball
sanctioned it. I
myself abstained from voting, out of
delicacy.
My friends were seventeen in number; nine was
therefore the majority.
Each man put his ball into the wicker basket with a narrow throat,
used to hold the numbered balls when card-players draw for their
places at pool. We were all roused to a more or less keen curiosity;
for this balloting to clarify
morality was certainly
original.
Inspection of the ballot-box showed the presence of nine white balls!
The result did not surprise me; but it came into my heard to count the
young men of my own age whom I had brought to sit in judgment. These
casuists were
precisely nine in number; they all had the same thought.
"Oh, oh!" I said to myself, "here is secret unanimity to
forbid the
marriage, and secret unanimity to
sanction it! How shall I solve that
problem?"
"Where does the father-in-law live?" asked one my school-friends,
heedlessly, being less sophisticated than the others.
"There's no longer a father-in-law," I replied. "Hitherto, my
conscience has
spokenplainly enough to make your
verdict superfluous.
If to-day its voice is weakened, here is the cause of my
cowardice. I
received, about two months ago, this all-seducing letter."
And I showed them the following
invitation, which I took from my
pocket-book:--
"You are invited to be present at the
funeralprocession, burial
services, and interment of Monsieur Jean-Frederic Taillefer, of