FIRST WOMAN
Oh! what have you done? You have stripped the poor child quite
naked, and it is so small, so small.
MNESILOCHUS
So small?
FIRST WOMAN
Yes, quite small, to be sure.
MNESILOCHUS
How old is it? Has it seen the feast of cups
thrice or four times?
FIRST WOMAN
It was born about the time of the last Dionysia. But give it
back to me.
MNESILOCHUS
No, may Apollo bear me witness.
FIRST WOMAN
Well, then we are going to burn him.
MNESILOCHUS
Burn me, but then I shall rip this open instantly.
FIRST WOMAN
No, no, I adjure you, don't; do anything you like to me rather
than that.
MNESILOCHUS
What a tender mother you are; but
nevertheless I shall rip it
open.
(He tears open the wine-skin.)
FIRST WOMAN
Oh, my
beloved daughter! Mania, hand me the
sacred cup, that I may
at least catch the blood of my child.
MNESILOCHUS
Hold it below; that's the only favour I grant you.
(He pours the wine into the cup.)
FIRST WOMAN
Out upon you, you
pitiless monster!
MNESILOCHUS
This robe belongs to the priestess.
SECOND WOMAN
What belongs to the priestess?
MNESILOCHUS
Here, take it.
(He throws her the Cretan robe.)
SECOND WOMAN
Ah!
unfortunate Mica! Who has robbed you of your daughter, your
beloved child?
FIRST WOMAN
That
wretch. But as you are here, watch him well, while I go
with Clisthenes to the Magistrates and
denounce him for his crimes.
MNESILOCHUS
Ah! how can I secure safety? what
device can I hit on? what can
I think of? He whose fault it is, he who
hurried me into this trouble,
will not come to my
rescue. Let me see, whom could I best send to him?
Ha! I know a means taken from Palamedes; like him, I will write my
misfortune on some oars, which I will cast into the sea. Where might I
find some oars? Hah! what if I took these statues instead of oars,
wrote upon them and then threw them towards this side and that. That's
the best thing to do. Besides, like oars they are of wood.
(singing)
Oh! my hands, keep up your courage, for my safety is at stake.
Come, my beautiful tablets, receive the traces of my stylus and be the
messengers of my sorry fate. Oh! oh! this R looks
miserable enough!
Where is it
running to then? Come, off with you in all directions,
to the right and to the left; and hurry yourselves, for there's much
need indeed!
(He sits down to wait for Euripides. The Chorus turns and faces
the audience.)
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
Let us address ourselves to the spectators to sing our praises,
despite the fact that each one says much ill of women. If the men
are to be believed, we are a
plague to them; through us come all their
troubles, quarrels, disputes, sedition, griefs and wars. But if we are
truly such a pest, why marry us? Why
forbid us to go out or show
ourselves at the window? You want to keep this pest, and take a
thousand cares to do it. If your wife goes out and you meet her away
from the house, you fly into a fury. Ought you not rather to rejoice
and give thanks to the gods? for if the pest has disappeared, you will
no longer find it at home. If we fall asleep at friends' houses from
the
fatigue of playing and sporting, each of you comes prowling
round the bed to
contemplate the features of this pest. If we seat
ourselves at the window, each one wants to see the pest, and if we
withdraw through
modesty, each wants all the more to see the pest
perch herself there again. It is thus clear that we are better than
you, and the proof of this is easy. Let us find out which is the worse
of the two sexes. We say, "It's you," while you aver, "it's we."'
Come, let us compare them in detail, each individual man with a woman.
Charminus is not equal to Nausimache, that's certain. Cleophon is in
every respect
inferior to Salabaccho. It's a long time now since any
of you has dared to
contest the prize with Aristomache, the
heroine of
Marathon, or with Stratonice.
Among the last year's Senators, who have just yielded their
office to other citizens, is there one who equals Eubule? Not even
Anytus would say that. Therefore we
maintain that men are greatly
our
inferiors. You see no woman who has robbed the state of fifty
talents rushing about the city in a
magnificentchariot; our
greatest peculations are a
measure of corn, which we steal from our
husbands, and even then we return it to them the very same day. But we
could name many
amongst you who do quite as much, and who are, even
more than ourselves, gluttons, parasites, cheats and kidnappers of
slaves. We know how to keep our property better than you. We still
have our cylinders, our beams, our baskets and our surshades;
whereas many among you have lost the wood of your spears as well as
the iron, and many others have cast away their bucklers on the
battlefield.
There are many reproaches we have the right to bring against
men. The most serious is this, that the woman, who has given birth
to a useful citizen, whether taxiarch or strategus should receive some
distinction; a place of honour should be reserved for her at the
Stenia, the Scirophoria, and the other festivals that we keep. On
the other hand, she of whom a
coward was born or a
worthless man, a
bad trierarch or an unskilful pilot, should sit with shaven head,
behind her sister who had borne a brave man. Oh! citizens! is it
just that the mother of Hyperbolus should sit dressed in white and
with loosened tresses beside that of Lamachus and lend out money on
usury? He, who may have made a deal of this nature with her, so far
from paying her interest, should not even repay the capital, saying,
"What, pay you interest? after you have given us this
delightful son?"
MNESILOCHUS
I have
contracted quite a squint by looking round for him, and yet
Euripides does not come. Who is keeping him? No doubt he is
ashamed of
his cold Palamedes. What will attract him? Let us see! By which of his
pieces does he set most store? Ah! I'll
imitate his Helen, his
last-born. I just happen to have a complete woman's outfit.
SECOND WOMAN
What are you ruminating about now? Why are you rolling up your
eyes? You'll have no reason to be proud of your Helen, if you don't
keep quiet until one of the Magistrates arrives.
MNESILOCHUS (as Helen)
"These shores are those of the Nile with the beautiful nymphs,
these waters take the place of heaven's rain and
fertilize the white
earth, that produces the black syrmea."
SECOND WOMAN
By bright Hecate, you're a
cunning varlet.
MNESILOCHUS
"Glorious Sparta is my country and Tyndareus is my father."
SECOND WOMAN
He your father, you rascal! Why, it's Phrynondas.
MNESILOCHUS
"I was given the name of Helen."
SECOND WOMAN
What! you are again becoming a woman, before we have punished
you for having pretended it the first time?
MNESILOCHUS
"A thousand warriors have died on my
account on the banks of the
Scamander."
SECOND WOMAN
Would that you had done the same!
MNESILOCHUS
"And here I am upon these shores; Menelaus, my
unhappy husband,
does not yet come. Ah! Why do I still live?"
SECOND WOMAN
Because of the
criminal negligence of the crows!
MNESILOCHUS
"But what sweet hope is this that sets my heart a-throb? Oh, Zeus!
grant it may not prove a lying one!"
(EURIPIDES enters.)
EURIPIDES (as Menelaus)
"To what master does this splendid palace belong? Will he
welcome strangers who have been tried on the billows of the sea by
storm and shipwreck?"
MNESILOCHUS
"This is the palace of Proteus."
SECOND WOMAN
Of what Proteus? you
thrice cursed rascal! how he lies! By the
goddesses, it's ten years since Proteas died.
EURIPIDES
"What is this shore whither the wind has
driven our boat?"
MNESILOCHUS
"'Tis Egypt."
EURIPIDES
"Alas! how far we are from own country!
SECOND WOMAN
Don't believe that cursed fool. This is Demeter's Temple.
EURIPIDES
"Is Proteus in these parts?"
SECOND WOMAN
Ah, now, stranger, it must be sea-sickness that makes you so
distraught! You have been told that Proteas is dead, and yet you ask
if he is in these parts.
EURIPIDES
"He is no more! Oh! woe! where lie his ashes?"
MNESILOCHUS
"'Tis on his tomb you see me sitting."
SECOND WOMAN
You call an altar a tomb! Beware of the rope!
EURIPIDES
"And why remain sitting on this tomb, wrapped in this long veil,
oh, stranger lady?"
MNESILOCHUS
"They want to force me to marry a son of Proteus."
SECOND WOMAN
Ah!
wretch, why tell such
shameful lies? Stranger, this is a
rascal who has slipped in
amongst us women to rob us of our trinkets.
MNESILOCHUS (to SECOND WOMAN)
"Shout! load me with your insults, for little care I."
EURIPIDES
"Who is the old woman who reviles you, stranger lady?
MNESILOCHUS
"'Tis Theonoe, the daughter of Proteus."
SECOND WOMAN
I! Why, my name's Critylle, the daughter of Antitheus, of the deme
of Gargettus; as for you, you are a rogue.
MNESILOCHUS
"Your entreaties are vain. Never shall I wed your brother; never