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FIRST WOMAN
Oh! what have you done? You have stripped the poor child quite

naked, and it is so small, so small.
MNESILOCHUS

So small?
FIRST WOMAN

Yes, quite small, to be sure.
MNESILOCHUS

How old is it? Has it seen the feast of cups thrice or four times?
FIRST WOMAN

It was born about the time of the last Dionysia. But give it
back to me.

MNESILOCHUS
No, may Apollo bear me witness.

FIRST WOMAN
Well, then we are going to burn him.

MNESILOCHUS
Burn me, but then I shall rip this open instantly.

FIRST WOMAN
No, no, I adjure you, don't; do anything you like to me rather

than that.
MNESILOCHUS

What a tender mother you are; but nevertheless I shall rip it
open.

(He tears open the wine-skin.)
FIRST WOMAN

Oh, my beloved daughter! Mania, hand me the sacred cup, that I may
at least catch the blood of my child.

MNESILOCHUS
Hold it below; that's the only favour I grant you.

(He pours the wine into the cup.)
FIRST WOMAN

Out upon you, you pitiless monster!
MNESILOCHUS

This robe belongs to the priestess.
SECOND WOMAN

What belongs to the priestess?
MNESILOCHUS

Here, take it.
(He throws her the Cretan robe.)

SECOND WOMAN
Ah! unfortunate Mica! Who has robbed you of your daughter, your

beloved child?
FIRST WOMAN

That wretch. But as you are here, watch him well, while I go
with Clisthenes to the Magistrates and denounce him for his crimes.

MNESILOCHUS
Ah! how can I secure safety? what device can I hit on? what can

I think of? He whose fault it is, he who hurried me into this trouble,
will not come to my rescue. Let me see, whom could I best send to him?

Ha! I know a means taken from Palamedes; like him, I will write my
misfortune on some oars, which I will cast into the sea. Where might I

find some oars? Hah! what if I took these statues instead of oars,
wrote upon them and then threw them towards this side and that. That's

the best thing to do. Besides, like oars they are of wood.
(singing)

Oh! my hands, keep up your courage, for my safety is at stake.
Come, my beautiful tablets, receive the traces of my stylus and be the

messengers of my sorry fate. Oh! oh! this R looks miserable enough!
Where is it running to then? Come, off with you in all directions,

to the right and to the left; and hurry yourselves, for there's much
need indeed!

(He sits down to wait for Euripides. The Chorus turns and faces
the audience.)

LEADER OF THE CHORUS
Let us address ourselves to the spectators to sing our praises,

despite the fact that each one says much ill of women. If the men
are to be believed, we are a plague to them; through us come all their

troubles, quarrels, disputes, sedition, griefs and wars. But if we are
truly such a pest, why marry us? Why forbid us to go out or show

ourselves at the window? You want to keep this pest, and take a
thousand cares to do it. If your wife goes out and you meet her away

from the house, you fly into a fury. Ought you not rather to rejoice
and give thanks to the gods? for if the pest has disappeared, you will

no longer find it at home. If we fall asleep at friends' houses from
the fatigue of playing and sporting, each of you comes prowling

round the bed to contemplate the features of this pest. If we seat
ourselves at the window, each one wants to see the pest, and if we

withdraw through modesty, each wants all the more to see the pest
perch herself there again. It is thus clear that we are better than

you, and the proof of this is easy. Let us find out which is the worse
of the two sexes. We say, "It's you," while you aver, "it's we."'

Come, let us compare them in detail, each individual man with a woman.
Charminus is not equal to Nausimache, that's certain. Cleophon is in

every respect inferior to Salabaccho. It's a long time now since any
of you has dared to contest the prize with Aristomache, the heroine of

Marathon, or with Stratonice.
Among the last year's Senators, who have just yielded their

office to other citizens, is there one who equals Eubule? Not even
Anytus would say that. Therefore we maintain that men are greatly

our inferiors. You see no woman who has robbed the state of fifty
talents rushing about the city in a magnificentchariot; our

greatest peculations are a measure of corn, which we steal from our
husbands, and even then we return it to them the very same day. But we

could name many amongst you who do quite as much, and who are, even
more than ourselves, gluttons, parasites, cheats and kidnappers of

slaves. We know how to keep our property better than you. We still
have our cylinders, our beams, our baskets and our surshades;

whereas many among you have lost the wood of your spears as well as
the iron, and many others have cast away their bucklers on the

battlefield.
There are many reproaches we have the right to bring against

men. The most serious is this, that the woman, who has given birth
to a useful citizen, whether taxiarch or strategus should receive some

distinction; a place of honour should be reserved for her at the
Stenia, the Scirophoria, and the other festivals that we keep. On

the other hand, she of whom a coward was born or a worthless man, a
bad trierarch or an unskilful pilot, should sit with shaven head,

behind her sister who had borne a brave man. Oh! citizens! is it
just that the mother of Hyperbolus should sit dressed in white and

with loosened tresses beside that of Lamachus and lend out money on
usury? He, who may have made a deal of this nature with her, so far

from paying her interest, should not even repay the capital, saying,
"What, pay you interest? after you have given us this delightful son?"

MNESILOCHUS
I have contracted quite a squint by looking round for him, and yet

Euripides does not come. Who is keeping him? No doubt he is ashamed of
his cold Palamedes. What will attract him? Let us see! By which of his

pieces does he set most store? Ah! I'll imitate his Helen, his
last-born. I just happen to have a complete woman's outfit.

SECOND WOMAN
What are you ruminating about now? Why are you rolling up your

eyes? You'll have no reason to be proud of your Helen, if you don't
keep quiet until one of the Magistrates arrives.

MNESILOCHUS (as Helen)
"These shores are those of the Nile with the beautiful nymphs,

these waters take the place of heaven's rain and fertilize the white
earth, that produces the black syrmea."

SECOND WOMAN
By bright Hecate, you're a cunning varlet.

MNESILOCHUS
"Glorious Sparta is my country and Tyndareus is my father."

SECOND WOMAN
He your father, you rascal! Why, it's Phrynondas.

MNESILOCHUS
"I was given the name of Helen."

SECOND WOMAN
What! you are again becoming a woman, before we have punished

you for having pretended it the first time?
MNESILOCHUS

"A thousand warriors have died on my account on the banks of the
Scamander."

SECOND WOMAN
Would that you had done the same!

MNESILOCHUS
"And here I am upon these shores; Menelaus, my unhappy husband,

does not yet come. Ah! Why do I still live?"
SECOND WOMAN

Because of the criminal negligence of the crows!
MNESILOCHUS

"But what sweet hope is this that sets my heart a-throb? Oh, Zeus!
grant it may not prove a lying one!"

(EURIPIDES enters.)
EURIPIDES (as Menelaus)

"To what master does this splendid palace belong? Will he
welcome strangers who have been tried on the billows of the sea by

storm and shipwreck?"
MNESILOCHUS

"This is the palace of Proteus."
SECOND WOMAN

Of what Proteus? you thrice cursed rascal! how he lies! By the
goddesses, it's ten years since Proteas died.

EURIPIDES
"What is this shore whither the wind has driven our boat?"

MNESILOCHUS
"'Tis Egypt."

EURIPIDES
"Alas! how far we are from own country!

SECOND WOMAN
Don't believe that cursed fool. This is Demeter's Temple.

EURIPIDES
"Is Proteus in these parts?"

SECOND WOMAN
Ah, now, stranger, it must be sea-sickness that makes you so

distraught! You have been told that Proteas is dead, and yet you ask
if he is in these parts.

EURIPIDES
"He is no more! Oh! woe! where lie his ashes?"

MNESILOCHUS
"'Tis on his tomb you see me sitting."

SECOND WOMAN
You call an altar a tomb! Beware of the rope!

EURIPIDES
"And why remain sitting on this tomb, wrapped in this long veil,

oh, stranger lady?"
MNESILOCHUS

"They want to force me to marry a son of Proteus."
SECOND WOMAN

Ah! wretch, why tell such shameful lies? Stranger, this is a
rascal who has slipped in amongst us women to rob us of our trinkets.

MNESILOCHUS (to SECOND WOMAN)
"Shout! load me with your insults, for little care I."

EURIPIDES
"Who is the old woman who reviles you, stranger lady?

MNESILOCHUS
"'Tis Theonoe, the daughter of Proteus."

SECOND WOMAN
I! Why, my name's Critylle, the daughter of Antitheus, of the deme

of Gargettus; as for you, you are a rogue.
MNESILOCHUS

"Your entreaties are vain. Never shall I wed your brother; never


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