Wherever am I to stow myself?
CLISTHENES
Each and every one must pass the scrutiny.
MNESILOCHUS (aside)
Oh! great gods!
FIRST WOMAN
You ask me who I am? I am the wife of Cleonynus.
CLISTHENES (to the LEADER OF THE CHORUS)
Do you know this woman?
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
Yes, yes, pass on to the rest.
CLISTHENES
And she who carries the child?
FIRST WOMAN
Surely; she's my nurse.
MNESILOCHUS (aside)
This is the end.
(He runs off.)
CLISTHENES
Hi! you there! where are you going? Stop. What are you running
away for?
MNESILOCHUS (dancing on one leg)
I want to take a pee, you
brazen thing.
CLISTHENES
Well, be quick about it; I shall wait for you here.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
Wait for her and examine her closely; she's the only one we do not
know.
CLISTHENES
That's a long leak you're taking.
MNESILOCHUS
God, yes; I am constricted; I ate some cress yesterday.
CLISTHENES
What are you chattering about cress? Come here! and be quick.
(He starts to pull MNESILOCHUS back.)
MNESILOCHUS
Oh! don't pull a poor sick woman about like that.
CLISTHENES (looking MNESILOCHUS square in the eye)
Tell me, who is your husband?
MNESILOCHUS (embarrassed)
My husband? Do you know a certain individual at Cothocidae...?
CLISTHENES
Whom do you mean? Give his name.
MNESILOCHUS
He's an individual to whom the son of a certain individual one
day...
CLISTHENES
You are drivelling! Let's see, have you ever been here before?
MNESILOCHUS
Why certainly, every year.
CLISTHENES
Who is your tent companion?
MNESILOCHUS
A certain.... Oh! my god!
CLISTHENES
That's not an answer!
FIRST WOMAN
Withdraw, all of you; I am going to examine her
thoroughly about
last year's mysteries. But move away, Clisthenes, for no man may
hear what is going to be said. Now answer my questions! What was
done first?
MNESILOCHUS
Let's see now. What was done first? Oh! we drank.
FIRST WOMAN
And then?
MNESILOCHUS
We drank to our healths.
FIRST WOMAN
You will have heard that from someone. And then?
MNESILOCHUS
Xenylla asked for a cup; there wasn't any thunder-mug.
FIRST WOMAN
You're talking
nonsense. Here, Clisthenes, here This is the man
you were telling us about.
CLISTHENES
What shall we do with him?
FIRST WOMAN
Take off his clothes, I can get nothing out of him.
MNESILOCHUS
What! are you going to strip a mother of nine children naked?
CLISTHENES
Come, undo your
girdle, you shameless thing.
FIRST WOMAN
Ah! what a
sturdy frame! but she has no breasts like we have.
MNESILOCHUS
That's because I'm
barren. I never had any children.
FIRST WOMAN
Oh! indeed! just now you were the mother of nine.
CLISTHENES
Stand up straight. What do you keep pushing that thing down for?
FIRST WOMAN (peering from behind)
There's no mistaking it.
CLISTHENES (also peering from behind)
Where has it gone to now?
FIRST WOMAN
To the front.
CLISTHENES (from in front)
No.
FIRST WOMAN (from behind)
Ah! it's behind now.
CLISTHENES
Why, friend, it's just like the Isthmus; you keep pulling your
stick
backwards and forwards more often than the Corinthians do
their ships
FIRST WOMAN
Ah! the
wretch! this is why he insulted us and defended Euripides.
MNESILOCHUS
Aye,
wretch indeed, what troubles have I not got into now!
FIRST WOMAN
What shall we do?
CLISTHENES
Watch him closely, so that he does not escape. As for me, I'll
go to report the matter to the magistrates.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
Let us
kindle our lamps; let us go
firmly to work and with
courage, let us take off our cloaks and search whether some other
man has not come here too; let us pass round the whole Pnyx, examine
the tents and the passages. Come, be quick, let us start off on a
light toe and rummage all round in silence. Let us
hasten, let us
finish our round as soon as possible.
CHORUS (singing)
Look quickly for the traces that might show you a man
hidden here,
let your glance fall on every side; look well to the right and to
the left. If we seize some
impious fellow, woe to him! He will know
how we
punish the
outrage, the crime, the sacrilege. The
criminal will
then
acknowledge at last that gods exist; his fate will teach all
men that the deities must be revered, that justice must be observed
and that they must
submit to the
sacred laws. If not, then woe to
them! Heaven itself will
punish sacrilege; being aflame with fury
and mad with
frenzy, all their deeds will prove to mortals, both men
and women, that the deity
punishes
injustice and impiety, and that she
is not slow to strike.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
But I think I have now searched everywhere and that no other man
is
hidden among us.
FIRST WOMAN
Where are you flying to? Stop! stop! Ah!
miserable woman that I
am, he has torn my child from my breast and has disappeared with it.
MNESILOCHUS
Scream as loud as you will, but you'll never feed him again. If
you do not let me go this very
instant, I am going to cut open the
veins of his thighs with this cutlass and his blood shall flow over
the altar.
FIRST WOMAN
Oh! great gods! oh! friends, help me!
terrify him with your
shrieks,
triumph over this
monster, permit him not to rob me of my
only child.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
Oh! oh!
venerable Moirai, what fresh attack is this? It's the
crowning act of
audacity and shamelessness! What has he done now,
friends, what has he done?
MNESILOCHUS
Ah! your
insolence passes all bounds, but I know how to curb it!
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
What a
shameful deed! the
measure of his iniquities is full!
FIRST WOMAN
Aye, it's
shameful that he should have robbed me of my child.
CHORUS (singing)
It's past
belief to be so
criminal and so impudent!
MNESILOCHUS (singing)
Ah! you're not near the end of it yet.
CHORUS (singing)
Little I care
whence you come; you shall not return to boast of
having acted so odiously with
impunity, for you shall be
punished.
MNESILOCHUS (speaking)
You won't do it, by the gods!
CHORUS (singing)
And what
immortal would protect you for your crime?
MNESILOCHUS (speaking)
You talk in vain! I shall not let go the child.
CHORUS (singing)
By the goddesses, you will not laugh
presently over your crime and
your
impious speech. For with impiety, as 'tis meet, shall we reply to
your impiety. Soon fortune will turn round and
overwhelm you.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
Come there, bring some
firewood. Let's roast the
wretch as quickly
as we can.
FIRST WOMAN
Bring faggots, Mania! (To MNESILOCHUS) You will be nothing but
charcoal soon.
MNESILOCHUS
Grill away, roast me, but you, my child, take off this Cretan robe
and blame no one but your mother for your death. But what does this
mean? The little girl is nothing but a skin filled with wine and
shod with Persian slippers. Oh! you
wanton, you tippling women, who
think of nothing but wine; you are a fortune to the drinking-shops and
are our ruin; for the sake of drink, you
neglect both your household
and your shuttle!
FIRST WOMAN
Faggots, Mania, plenty of them.
MNESILOCHUS
Bring as many as you like. But answer me; are you the mother of
this brat?
FIRST WOMAN
I carried it ten months.
MNESILOCHUS
You carried it?
FIRST WOMAN
I swear it by Artemis.
MNESILOCHUS
How much does it hold? Three cotylae? Tell me.