SAUSAGE-SELLER
He says he will seize upon your bath-tubs.
DEMOS
Then I shall not bathe to-day.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
No, as he has
stolen our baths. But here is an
oracle about the
fleet, to which I beg your best attention.
DEMOS
Read on! I am listening; let us first see how we are to pay our
sailors.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
"Son of Aegeus,
beware of the tricks of the dog-fox, he bites from
the rear and rushes off at full speed; he is nothing but
cunning and
perfidy." Do you know what the
oracle intends to say?
DEMOS
The dog-fox is Philostratus.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
No, no, it's Cleon; he is
incessantly asking you for light vessels
to go and collect the tributes, and Apollo advises you not to grant
them.
DEMOS
What
connection is there between a
galley and dog-fox?
SAUSAGE-SELLER
What
connection? Why, it's quite plain-a
galley travels as fast as
a dog.
DEMOS
Why, then, does the
oracle not say dog instead of dog-fox?
SAUSAGE-SELLER
Because he compares the soldiers to young foxes, who, like them,
eat the grapes in the fields.
DEMOS
Good! Well then! how am I to pay the wages of my young foxes?
SAUSAGE-SELLER
I will
undertake that, and in three days too! But listen to this
further
oracle, by which Apollo puts you on your guard against the
snares of the
greedy fist.
DEMOS
Of what
greedy fist?
SAUSAGE-SELLER
The god in this
oracle very clearly points to the hand of Cleon,
who
incessantly holds his out,
saying, "Fill it."
CLEON
That's a lie! Phoebus means the hand of Diopithes. But here I have
a
wingedoracle, which promises you shall become an eagle and rule
over all the earth.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
I have one, which says that you shall be King of the Earth and
of the Red Sea too, and that you shall
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administer justice in Ecbatana,
eating fine rich stews the while.
CLEON
I have seen Athen& in a dream, pouring out full vials of riches
and health over the people.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
I too have seen the
goddess, descending from the Acropolis with an
owl perched upon her
helmet; on your head she was pouring out
ambrosia, on that of Cleon
garlic pickle.
DEMOS
Truly Glanis is the wisest of men. I shall yield myself to you;
guide me in my old age and
educate me anew.
CLEON
Ah! I adjure you! not yet; wait a little; I will promise to
distribute
barley every day.
DEMOS
Ah! I will not hear another word about
barley; you have cheated me
too often already, both you and Theophanes.
CLEON
Well then! you shall have flour-cakes all piping hot.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
I will give you cakes too, and nice cooked fish; all you'll have
to do is eat.
DEMOS
Very well, mind you keep your promises. To
whichever of you
shall treat me best I hand over the reins of state.
CLEON
I will be first.
(He rushes into the house.)
SAUSAGE-SELLER
No, no, I will.
(He runs off.)
CHORUS (singing)
Demos, you are our all-powerful
sovereign lord; all tremble before
you, yet you are led by the nose. You love to be flattered and fooled;
you listen to the orators with gaping mouth and your mind is led
astray.
DEMOS (singing)
It's rather you who have no brains, if you think me so foolish
as all that; it is with a purpose that I play this idiot's role, for I
love to drink the livelong day, and so it pleases me to keep a thief
for my
minister. When he has
thoroughly gorged himself, then I
overthrow and crush him.
CHORUS (singing)
What
profound wisdom! If it be really so, why! all is for the
best. Your
ministers, then, are your victims, whom you
nourish and
feed up
expressly in the Pnyx, so that, the day your dinner is
ready, you may immolate the fattest and eat him.
DEMOS (singing)
Look, see how I play with them, while all the time they think
themselves such adepts at cheating me. I have my eye on them when they
thieve, but I do not appear to be
seeing them; then I
thrust a
judgment down their
throat as it were a
feather, and force them to
vomit up all they have robbed from me.
(Cleon comes out of the house with a bench and a large basket; at
the same moment the SAUSAGE-SELLER arrives with another basket;
the two are placed beside one another.)
CLEON
Get out of here!
SAUSAGE-SELLER
Get out yourself!
CLEON
Demos, all is ready these three hours; I await your orders and I
burn with desire to load you with benefits.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
And I ten, twelve, a thousand hours, a long, long while, an
infinitely long, long, long while.
DEMOS
As for me, it's thirty thousand hours that I have been
impatient; very, long,
infinitely long, long, long that I have
cursed you-
SAUSAGE-SELLER
Do you know what you had best do?
DEMOS
I will, if you tell me.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
Declare the lists open and we will
contendabreast to
determine-who shall treat you the best.
DEMOS
Splended! Draw back in line!
CLEON
I am ready.
DEMOS
Off you go!
SAUSAGE-SELLER (to CLEON)
I shall not let you get to the tape.
DEMOS
What
fervent lovers! If I am not to-day the happiest of men, it
will be because I am the most disgusted.
CLEON (putting down the bench for DEMOS)
Look! I am the first to bring you a seat.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
And I a table.
(He places his sausage-tray in front of DEMOS.)
CLEON
Wait, here is a cake kneaded of Pylos
barley.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
Here are crusts, which the ivory hand of the
goddess has hallowed.
DEMOS
Oh! Mighty Athene! How large are your fingers!
CLEON
This is pea-soup, as
exquisite as it is fine; Pallas the
victorious
goddess at Pylos is the one who crushed the peas herself.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
Oh, Demos! the
goddess watches over you; she is stretching forth
over your head.... a stew-pan full of broth.
DEMOS
And should we still be
dwelling in this city without this
protecting stew-pan?
CLEON
Here are some fish, given to you by her who is the
terror of our
foes.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
The daughter of the mightiest of the gods sends you this meat
cooked in its own gravy, along with this dish of tripe and some
paunch.
DEMOS
That's to thank me for the peplus I offered to her; good.
CLEON
The
goddess with the terrible plume invites you to eat this long
cake; you will row the harder on it.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
Take this also.
DEMOS
And what shall I do with this tripe?
SAUSAGE-SELLER
She sends it you to belly out your
galleys, for she is always
showing her kindly
anxiety for our fleet. Now drink this drink
composed of three parts of water to two of wine.
DEMOS
Ah! what
delicious wine, and how well it stands the water.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
The
goddess who came from the head of Zeus mixed this liquor
with her own hands.
CLEON
Hold, here is a piece of good rich cake.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
But I offer you an entire cake.
CLEON
But you cannot offer him stewed hare as I do.
SAUSAGE-SELLER (aside)
Ah! great gods! stewed hare! where shall I find it? Oh! brain of
mine,
devise some trick!
CLEON (showing him the hare)
Do you see this, you rogue?
SAUSAGE-SELLER (pretending to look afar)
A fig for that! Here are some people coming to seek me. They are
envoys,
bearing sacks bulging with money.
CLEON
(Hearing money mentioned CLEON turns his head, and the
SAUSAGE-SELLER seizes the opportunity to
snatch away the stewed hare.)
Where, where, I say?
SAUSAGE-SELLER
Bah! What's that to you? Will you not even now let the strangers