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By Posidon! You! would you beat me in impudence! If you succeed,
may I no longer have my share of the victims offered to Zeus on the

city altar.
SAUSAGE-SELLER

And I, I swear by the blows that have so oft rained upon my
shoulders since infancy, and by the knives that have cut me, that I

will show more effrontery than you; as sure as I have rounded this
fine stomach by feeding on the pieces of bread that had cleansed other

folk's greasy fingers.
CLEON

On pieces of bread, like a dog! Ah! wretch! you have the nature of
a dog and you dare to fight a dog-headed ape?

SAUSAGE-SELLER
I have many another trick in my sack, memories of my childhood's

days. I used to linger around the cooks and say to them, "Look,
friends, don't you see a swallow? It's the herald of springtime."

And while they stood, their noses in the air, I made off with a
piece of meat.

CHORUS
Oh! most clever man! How well thought out! You did as the eaters

of artichokes, you gathered them before the return of the swallows."
SAUSAGE-SELLER

They could make nothing of it; or, if they suspected a trick, I
hid the meat in my crotch and denied the thing by all the gods-so that

an orator, seeing me at the game, cried, "This child will get on; he
has the mettle that makes a statesman."

LEADER OF THE CHORUS
He argued rightly; to steal, perjure yourself and make your arse

receptive are three essentials for climbing high.
CLEON

I will stop your insolence, or rather the insolence of both of
you. I will throw myself upon you like a terrible hurricane ravaging

both land and sea at the will of its fury.
SAUSAGE-SELLER

Then I will gather up my sausages and entrust myself to the kindly
waves of fortune so as to make you all the more enraged.

DEMOSTHENES
And I will watch in the bilges in case the boat should make water.

CLEON
No, by Demeter! I swear, it will not be with impunity that you

have thieved so many talents from the Athenians.
DEMOSTHENES (to the SAUSAGE-SELLER)

Oh! oh! reef your sail a bit! Here is a Northeaster blowing
calumniously.

SAUSAGE-SELLER
I know that you got ten talents out of Potidaea.

CLEON
Wait! I will give you one; but keep it dark!

DEMOSTHENES (aside)
Hah! that will please him mightily; (to the SAUSAGE-SELLER) now

you can travel under full sail. The wind has lost its violence.
CLEON

I will bring four suits against you, each of one hundred talents.
SAUSAGE-SELLER

And I twenty against you for shirking duty and more than a
thousand for robbery.

CLEON
I maintain that your parents were guilty of sacrilege against

the goddess.
SAUSAGE-SELLER

And I, that one of your grandfathers was a satellite....
CLEON

To whom? Explain!
SAUSAGE-SELLER

To Byrsina, the mother of Hippias.
CLEON

You are an impostor.
SAUSAGE-SELLER

And you are a rogue.
(He strikes CLEON with a sausage.)

DEMOSTHENES
Hit him hard.

CLEON
Alas! The conspirators are murdering me!

DEMOSTHENES (to the SAUSAGE-SELLER)
Hit him! Hit him with all your might! Bruise his belly and lash

him with your guts and your tripe! Punish him with both hands!
(CLEON sinks beneath the blows.)

CHORUS-LEADER
Oh! vigorousassailant and intrepid heart! See how you have

totally routed him in this duel of abuse, so that to us and to the
citizens you seem the saviour of the city. How shall I give tongue

to my joy and praise you sufficiently?
CLEON (recovering his wits)

Ah! by Demeter! I was not ignorant of this plot and these
machinations that were being forged and nailed and put together

against me.
DEMOSTHENES (to the SAUSAGE-SELLER)

Look out, look out! Come outfence him with some wheelwright slang.
SAUSAGE-SELLER

His tricks at Argos do not escape me. Under pretence of forming an
alliance with the Argives, he is hatching a plot with the

Lacedaemonians there; and I know why the bellows are blowing and the
metal that is on the anvil; it's the question of the prisoners.

DEMOSTHENES
Well done! Forge on, if he be a wheelwright.

SAUSAGE-SELLER
And there are men at Sparta who are hammering the iron with you;

but neither gold nor silver nor prayers nor anything else shall impede
my denouncing your trickery to the Athenians.

CLEON
As for me, I hasten to the Senate to reveal your plotting, your

nightly gatherings in the city, your trafficking with the Medes and
with the Great King, and all you are foraging for in Boeotia.

SAUSAGE-SELLER
What price then is paid for forage by Boeotians?

CLEON
Oh! by Heracles! I will tan your hide.

(He departs.)
DEMOSTHENES

Come, if you have both wit and heart, now is the time to show
it, as on the day when you hid the meat in your crotch, as you say.

Hasten to the Senate, for he will rush there like a tornado to
calumniate us all and give vent to his fearful bellowings.

SAUSAGE-SELLER
I am going, but first I must rid myself of my tripe and my knives;

I will leave them here.
DEMOSTHENES

Stay! rub your neck with lard; in this way you will slip between
the fingers of calumny.

SAUSAGE-SELLER
Spoken like a finished wrestling coach.

DEMOSTHENES
Now, bolt down these cloves of garlic.

SAUSAGE-SELLER
Pray, what for?

DEMOSTHENES
Well primed with garlic, you will have greater mettle for the

fight. But hurry, make haste rapidly!
SAUSAGE-SELLER

That's just what I'm doing.
(He departs.)

DEMOSTHENES
And, above all, bite your foe, rend him to atoms, tear off his

comb and do not return until you have devoured his wattles.
(He goes into the house of DEMOS.)

LEADER OF THE CHORUS
Go! make your attack with a light heart, avenge me and may Zeus

guard you! I burn to see you return the victor and laden with chaplets
of glory. And you, spectators, enlightened critics of all kind of

poetry, lend an ear to my anapests. (The Chorus moves forward and
faces the audience.)

Had one of the old authors asked me to mount this stage to
recite his verses, he would not have found it hard to persuade me. But

our poet of to-day is likewiseworthy of this favour; he shares our
hatred, he dares to tell the truth, he boldly braves both

waterspouts and hurricanes. Many among you, he tells us, have
expressed wonder, that he has not long since had a piece presented

in his own name, and have asked the reason why. This is what he bids
us say in reply to your questions; it is not without grounds that he

has courted the shade, for, in his opinion, nothing is more
difficult than to cultivate the comic Muse; many court her, but very

few secure her favours. Moreover, he knows that you are fickle by
nature and betray your poets when they grow old. What fate befell

Magnes, when his hair went white? Often enough had he triumphed over
his rivals; he had sung in all keys, played the lyre and fluttered

wings; he turned into a Lydian and even into a gnat, daubed himself
with green to become a frog. All in vain! When young, you applauded

him; in his old age you hooted and mocked him, because his genius
for raillery had gone. Cratinus again was like a torrent of glory

rushing across the plain, up-rooting oak, plane tree and rivals and
bearing them pell-mell in his wake. The only songs at the banquet

were, "Doro, shod with lying tales" and "Adepts of the Lyric Muse," so
great was his renown. Look at him now! he drivels, his lyre has

neither strings nor keys, his voice quivers, but you have no pity
for him, and you let him wander about as he can, like Connas, his

temples circled with a withered chaplet; the poor old fellow is
dying of thirst; he who, in honour of his glorious past, should be

in the Prytaneum drinking at his ease, and instead of trudging the
country should be sitting amongst the first row of the spectators,

close to the statue of Dionysus and loaded with perfumes. Crates,
again, have you done hounding him with your rage and your hisses?

True, it was but meagre fare that his sterile Muse could offer you;
a few ingenious fancies formed the sole ingredients, but

nevertheless he knew how to stand firm and to recover from his
falls. It is such examples that frighten our poet; in addition, he

would tell himself, that before being a pilot, he must first know
how to row, then to keep watch at the prow, after that how to gauge

the winds, and that only then would he be able to command his
vessel. If then you approve this wise caution and his resolve that

he would not bore you with foolish nonsense, raise loud waves of
applause in his favour this day, so that, at this Lenaean feast, the

breath of your favour may swell the sails of his triumphantgalley and
the poet may withdraw proud of his success, with head erect and his

face beaming with delight.
FIRST SEMI-CHORUS (singing)

Posidon, god of the racing steeds, I salute you, you who delight
in their neighing and in the resounding clatter of their brass-shod

hoofs, god of the swift galleys, which, loaded with mercenaries,
cleave the seas with their azure beaks, god of the equestrian

contests, in which young rivals, eager for glory, ruin themselves
for the sake of distinction with their chariots in the arena, come and

direct our chorus; Posidon with the trident of gold, you, who reign
over the dolphins, who are worshipped at Sunium and at Geraestus

beloved of Phormio, and dear to the whole city above all the
immortals, I salute you!

LEADER OF FIRST SEMI-CHORUS
Let us sing the glory of our forefathers; ever victors, both on

land and sea, they merit that Athens, rendered famous by these, her
worthy sons, should write their deeds upon the sacred peplus. As

soon as they saw the enemy, they at once sprang at him without ever


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