lawsuits.
CLEON
Eh! what! Knights, are you helping them? But, if I am
beaten, it
is in your cause, for I was going to propose to erect a
statue in
the city in memory of your bravery.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
Oh! the impostor! the dull varlet! See! he treats us like old
dotards and crawls at our feet to
deceive us; but the cunning
wherein his power lies shall this time
recoil on himself; he trips
up himself by resorting to such artifices.
CLEON
Oh citizens! oh people! see how these brutes are bursting my
belly.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
What shouts! but it's this very bawling that
incessantly upsets
the city!
SAUSAGE-SELLER
I can shout too-and so loud that you will flee with fear.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
If you shout louder than he does I will strike up the triumphal
hymn; if you
surpass him in impudence the cake is ours.
CLEON
I
denounce this fellow; he has had tasty stews exported from
Athens for the Spartan fleet.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
And I
denounce him; he runs into the Prytaneum with an empty belly
and comes out with it full.
DEMOSTHENES
And by Zeus! he carries off bread, meat, and fish, which is
forbidden. Pericles himself never had this right.
(A screaming match now ensues, each line more raucous than the
last. The
rapidity of the dialogue
likewise increases.)
CLEON
You are travelling the right road to get killed.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
I'll bawl three times as loud as you.
CLEON
I will
deafen you with my yells.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
And I you with my
bellowing.
CLEON
I shall calumniate you, if you become a Strategus.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
Dog, I will lay your back open with the lash.
CLEON
I will make you drop your arrogance,
SAUSAGE-SELLER
I will
baffle your machinations.
CLEON
Dare to look me in the face!
SAUSAGE-SELLER
I too was brought up in the market-place.
CLEON
I will cut you to shreds if you
whisper a word.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
If you open your mouth, I'll shut it with shit.
CLEON
I admit I'm a thief; that's more than you do.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
By our Hermes of the market-place, if caught in the act, why, I
perjure myself before those who saw me.
CLEON
These are my own special tricks. I will
denounce you to the
Prytanes as the owner of
sacred tripe, that has not paid tithe.
CHORUS (singing)
Oh! you scoundrel! you impudent bawler! everything is filled
with your
daring, all Attica, the Assembly, the Treasury, the decrees,
the tribunals. As a
furioustorrent you have
overthrown" target="_blank" title="
overthrow的过去分词">
overthrown our city; your
outcries have
deafened Athens and, posted upon a high rock, you have
lain in wait for the
tribute moneys as the
fisherman does for the
tunny-fish.
CLEON (somewhat less loudly)
I know your tricks; it's an old plot resoled.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
If you know
naught of soling, I understand nothing of sausages;
you, who cut bad leather on the slant to make it look stout and
deceive the country yokels. They had not worn it a day before it had
stretched some two spans.
DEMOSTHENES
That's the very trick he played on me; both my neighbours and my
friends laughed
heartily at me, and before I reached Pergasae I was
swimming in my shoes.
CHORUS (singing)
Have you not always shown that blatant impudence, which is the
sole strength of our
orators? You push it so far, that you, the head
of the State, dare to milk the purses of the opulent aliens and, at
sight of you, the son of Hippodamus melts into tears. But here is
another man who gives me pleasure, for he is a much greater rascal
than you; he will
overthrow you; 'tis easy to see, that he will beat
you in roguery, in
brazenness and in clever turns. Come, you, who have
been brought up among the class which to-day gives us all our great
men, show us that a
liberal education is mere tomfoolery.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
Just hear what sort of fellow that fine citizen is.
CLEON
Will you not let me speak?
SAUSAGE-SELLER
Assuredly not, for I too am an awful rascal.
DEMOSTHENES
If he does not give in at that, tell him your parents were awful
rascals too.
CLEON
Once more, will you let me speak?
SAUSAGE-SELLER
No, by Zeus!
CLEON
Yes, by Zeus, you shall!
SAUSAGE-SELLER
No, by Posidon! We will fight first to see who shall speak first.
CLEON
I will die sooner.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
I will not let you....
DEMOSTHENES
Let him, in the name of the gods, let him die.
CLEON
What makes you so bold as to dare to speak to my face?
SAUSAGE-SELLER
Because I know both how to speak and how to cook.
CLEON
Hah! the fine speaker! Truly, if some business matter fell your
way, you would know
thoroughly well how to attack it, to carve it up
alive! Shall I tell you what has happened to you? Like so many others,
you have gained some petty lawsuit against some alien. Did you drink
enough water to
inspire you? Did you
mutter over the thing
sufficiently through the night, spout it along the street,
recite it
to all you met? Have you bored your friends enough with it? And for
this you deem yourself an
orator. You poor fool!
SAUSAGE-SELLER
And what do you drink yourself then, to be able all alone by
yourself to dumbfound and stupefy the city so with your clamour?
CLEON
Can you match me with a rival? Me? When I have
devoured a good hot
tunny-fish and drunk on top of it a great jar of unmixed wine. I say
"to Hell with the generals of Pylos!"
SAUSAGE-SELLER
And I, when I have bolted the tripe of an ox together with a sow's
belly and
swallowed the broth as well, I am fit, though slobbering
with
grease, to
bellow louder than all
orators and to
terrify Nicias.
DEMOSTHENES
I admire your language so much; the only thing I do not
approve is
that you
swallow all the broth yourself.
CLEON
Even though you gorged yourself on sea-dogs, you would not beat
the Milesians.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
Give me a bullock's breast to
devour, and I am a man to
traffic in
mines.
CLEON
I will rush into the Senate and set them all by the ears.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
And I will pull out your arse to stuff like a sausage.
CLEON
As for me, I will seize you by the rump and hurl you head foremost
through the door.
DEMOSTHENES
By Posidon, only after you have thrown me there first.
CLEON
(Beginning another crescendo of
competitive screeching)
Beware of the carcan!
SAUSAGE-SELLER
I
denounce you for cowardice.
CLEON
I will tan your hide.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
I will flay you and make a thief's pouch with the skin.
CLEON
I will peg you out on the ground.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
I will slice you into mince-meat.
CLEON
I will tear out your eyelashes.
SAUSAGE-SELLER
I will slit your gullet.
DEMOSTHENES
We will set his mouth open with a
wooden stick as the cooks do
with pigs; we will tear out his tongue, and, looking down his gaping
throat, will see whether his inside has any pimples.
CHORUS (singing)
Thus then at Athens we have something more fiery than fire, more
impudent than impudence itself! 'Tis a grave matter; come, we will
push and
jostle him without mercy. There, you grip him
tightly under
the arms; if he gives way at the onset, you will find him nothing
but a craven; I know my man.
DEMOSTHENES
That he has been all his life and he has only made himself a
name by reaping another's
harvest; and now he has tied up the ears
he gathered over there, he lets them dry and seeks to sell them.
CLEON
I do not fear you as long as there is a Senate and a people
which stands like a fool, gaping in the air.
CHORUS (singing)
What unparalleled impudence! 'Tis ever the same
brazen front. If I
don't hate you, why, I'm ready to take the place of the one blanket
Cratinus wets; I'll offer to play a
tragedy by Morsimus. Oh! you
cheat! who turn all into money, who
flutter from one extortion to
another; may you disgorge as quickly as you have crammed yourself!
Then only would I sing, "Let us drink, let us drink to this happy
event!" Then even the son of Ulius, the old wheat-fairy, would empty
his cup with transports of joy, crying, "Io, Paean! Io, Bacchus!"
CLEON