forgive you, it's a lemonade.'
'But, O, Finsbury, what are we to do with it?' walled the artist,
laying a clutching hand upon the
lawyer's arm.
'Do with it?'
repeated Michael. 'Bury it in one of your
flowerbeds, and erect one of your own statues for a
monument. I
tell you we should look
devilishromantic shovelling out the sod
by the moon's pale ray. Here, put some gin in this.'
'I beg of you, Mr Finsbury, do not
trifle with my misery,' cried
Pitman. 'You see before you a man who has been all his life--I do
not
hesitate to say it--imminently
respectable. Even in this
solemn hour I can lay my hand upon my heart without a blush.
Except on the really
trifling point of the smuggling of the
Hercules (and even of that I now
humbly repent), my life has been
entirely fit for
publication. I never feared the light,' cried
the little man; 'and now--now--!'
'Cheer up, old boy,' said Michael. 'I assure you we should count
this little contretemps a
trifle at the office; it's the sort of
thing that may occur to any one; and if you're
perfectly sure you
had no hand in it--'
'What language am I to find--' began Pitman.
'O, I'll do that part of it,' interrupted Michael, 'you have no
experience.' But the point is this: If--or rather since--you know
nothing of the crime, since the--the party in the
closet--is
neither your father, nor your brother, nor your
creditor, nor
your mother-in-law, nor what they call an injured husband--'
'O, my dear sir!' interjected Pitman, horrified.
'Since, in short,' continued the
lawyer, 'you had no possible
interest in the crime, we have a
perfectly free field before us
and a safe game to play. Indeed, the problem is really
entertaining; it is one I have long contemplated in the light of
an A. B. case; here it is at last under my hand in specie; and I
mean to pull you through. Do you hear that?--I mean to pull you
through. Let me see: it's a long time since I have had what I
call a
genuineholiday; I'll send an excuse tomorrow to the
office. We had best be lively,' he added significantly; 'for we
must not spoil the market for the other man.'
'What do you mean?' enquired Pitman. 'What other man? The
inspector of police?'
'Damn the
inspector of police!' remarked his
companion. 'If you
won't take the short cut and bury this in your back garden, we
must find some one who will bury it in his. We must place the
affair, in short, in the hands of some one with fewer scruples
and more resources.'
'A private
detective, perhaps?' suggested Pitman.
'There are times when you fill me with pity,' observed the
lawyer. 'By the way, Pitman,' he added in another key, 'I have
always regretted that you have no piano in this den of yours.
Even if you don't play yourself, your friends might like to
entertain themselves with a little music while you were mudding.'
'I shall get one at once if you like,' said Pitman nervously,
anxious to please. 'I play the
fiddle a little as it is.'
'I know you do,' said Michael; 'but what's the
fiddle--above all
as you play it? What you want is polyphonic music. And I'll tell
you what it is--since it's too late for you to buy a piano I'll
give you mine.'
'Thank you,' said the artist blankly. 'You will give me yours? I
am sure it's very good in you.'
'Yes, I'll give you mine,' continued Michael, 'for the
inspectorof police to play on while his men are digging up your back
garden.' Pitman stared at him in pained amazement.
'No, I'm not insane,' Michael went on. 'I'm
playful, but quite
coherent. See here, Pitman: follow me one half minute. I mean to
profit by the
refreshing fact that we are really and truly
innocent; nothing but the presence of the--you know
what--connects us with the crime; once let us get rid of it, no
matter how, and there is no possible clue to trace us by. Well, I
give you my piano; we'll bring it round this very night. Tomorrow
we rip the fittings out,
deposit the--our friend--inside, plump
the whole on a cart, and carry it to the chambers of a young
gentleman whom I know by sight.'
'Whom do you know by sight?'
repeated Pitman.
'And what is more to the purpose,' continued Michael, 'whose
chambers I know better than he does himself. A friend of mine--I
call him my friend for brevity; he is now, I understand, in
Demerara and (most likely) in gaol--was the
previousoccupant. I
defended him, and I got him off too--all saved but honour; his
assets were nil, but he gave me what he had, poor gentleman, and
along with the rest--the key of his chambers. It's there that I
propose to leave the piano and, shall we say, Cleopatra?'
'It seems very wild,' said Pitman. 'And what will become of the
poor young gentleman whom you know by sight?'
'It will do him good,'--said Michael
cheerily. 'Just what he
wants to steady him.'
'But, my dear sit, he might be involved in a
charge of--a
chargeof murder,' gulped the artist.
'Well, he'll be just where we are,' returned the
lawyer. 'He's
innocent, you see. What hangs people, my dear Pitman, is the
unfortunate circumstance of guilt.'
'But indeed, indeed,' pleaded Pitman, 'the whole
scheme appears
to me so wild. Would it not be safer, after all, just to send for
the police?'
'And make a scandal?' enquired Michael. '"The Chelsea Mystery;
alleged
innocence of Pitman"? How would that do at the Seminary?'
'It would imply my dis
charge,' admitted the
drawing--master. 'I
cannot deny that.'
'And besides,' said Michael, 'I am not going to
embark in such a
business and have no fun for my money.'
'O my dear sir, is that a proper spirit?' cried Pitman.
'O, I only said that to cheer you up,' said the unabashed
Michael. 'Nothing like a little
judicious levity. But it's quite
needless to discuss. If you mean to follow my advice, come on,
and let us get the piano at once. If you don't, just drop me the
word, and I'll leave you to deal with the, whole thing according
to your better judgement.'
'You know
perfectly well that I depend on you entirely,' returned
Pitman. 'But O, what a night is before me with that--horror in my
studio! How am I to think of it on my pillow?'
'Well, you know, my piano will be there too,' said Michael.
'That'll raise the average.'
An hour later a cart came up the lane, and the
lawyer's piano--a
momentous Broadwood grand--was
deposited in Mr Pitman's
studio.
CHAPTER VIII. In Which Michael Finsbury Enjoys a Holiday
Punctually at eight o'clock next morning the
lawyer rattled
(according to
previous appointment) on the
studio door. He found
the artist sadly altered for the worse--bleached, bloodshot, and
chalky--a man upon wires, the tail of his
haggard eye still
wandering to the
closet. Nor was the professor of
drawing less
inclined to wonder at his friend. Michael was usually attired in
the
height of fashion, with a certain mercantile brilliancy best
described perhaps as stylish; nor could anything be said against
him, as a rule, but that he looked a
trifle too like a wedding
guest to be quite a gentleman. Today he had fallen altogether
from these
heights. He wore a
flannel shirt of washed-out
shepherd's tartan, and a suit of
reddish tweeds, of the colour