Pitman did not reply, but continued to gaze disconsolately on his
image in the glass.
'Do you know,' asked Michael, 'what the Governor of South
Carolina said to the Governor of North Carolina? "It's a long
time between drinks," observed that powerful thinker; and if you
will put your hand into the top left-hand pocket of my ulster, I
have an
impression you will find a flask of
brandy. Thank you,
Pitman,' he added, as he filled out a glass for each. 'Now you
will give me news of this.'
The artist reached out his hand for the water-jug, but Michael
arrested the movement.
'Not if you went upon your knees!' he cried. 'This is the finest
liqueur
brandy in Great Britain.'
Pitman put his lips to it, set it down again, and sighed.
'Well, I must say you're the poorest
companion for a holiday!'
cried Michael. 'If that's all you know of
brandy, you shall have
no more of it; and while I finish the flask, you may as well
begin business. Come to think of it,' he broke off, 'I have made
an
abominable error: you should have ordered the cart before you
were
disguised. Why, Pitman, what the devil's the use of you? why
couldn't you have reminded me of that?'
'I never even knew there was a cart to be ordered,' said the
artist. 'But I can take off the
disguise again,' he suggested
eagerly.
'You would find it rather a
bother to put on your beard,'
observed the
lawyer. 'No, it's a false step; the sort of thing
that hangs people,' he continued, with
eminentcheerfulness, as
he sipped his
brandy; 'and it can't be retraced now. Off to the
mews with you, make all the arrangements; they're to take the
piano from here, cart it to Victoria, and
dispatch it
thence by
rail to Cannon Street, to lie till called for in the name of
Fortune du Boisgobey.'
'Isn't that rather an
awkward name?' pleaded Pitman.
'Awkward?' cried Michael scornfully. 'It would hang us both!
Brown is both safer and easier to pronounce. Call it Brown.'
'I wish,' said Pitman, 'for my sake, I wish you wouldn't talk so
much of hanging.'
'Talking about it's nothing, my boy!' returned Michael. 'But take
your hat and be off, and mind and pay everything beforehand.'
Left to himself, the
lawyer turned his attention for some time
exclusively to the liqueur
brandy, and his spirits, which had
been pretty fair all morning, now prodigiously rose. He proceeded
to
adjust his whiskers finally before the glass. 'Devilish rich,'
he remarked, as he contemplated his
reflection. 'I look like a
purser's mate.' And at that moment the window-glass spectacles
(which he had
hitherto destined for Pitman) flashed into his
mind; he put them on, and fell in love with the effect. 'Just
what I required,' he said. 'I wonder what I look like now? A
humorousnovelist, I should think,' and he began to practise
divers characters of walk, naming them to himself as--he
proceeded. 'Walk of a
humorousnovelist--but that would require
an
umbrella. Walk of a purser's mate. Walk of an Australian
colonist revisiting the scenes of
childhood. Walk of Sepoy
colonel, ditto, ditto. And in the midst of the Sepoy colonel
(which was an excellent
assumption, although
inconsistent with
the style of his make-up), his eye lighted on the piano. This
instrument was made to lock both at the top and at the keyboard,
but the key of the latter had been mislaid. Michael opened it and
ran his fingers over the dumb keys. 'Fine instrument--full, rich
tone,' he observed, and he drew in a seat.
When Mr Pitman returned to the
studio, he was appalled to observe
his guide,
philosopher, and friend performing miracles of
execution on the silent grand.
'Heaven help me!' thought the little man, 'I fear he has been
drinking! Mr Finsbury,' he said aloud; and Michael, without
rising, turned upon him a
countenance somewhat flushed, encircled
with the bush of the red whiskers, and bestridden by the
spectacles. 'Capriccio in B-flat on the
departure of a friend,'
said he, continuing his noiseless evolutions.
Indignation awoke in the mind of Pitman. 'Those spectacles were
to be mine,' he cried. 'They are an
essential part of my
disguise.'
'I am going to wear them myself,' replied Michael; and he added,
with some show of truth, 'There would be a devil of a lot of
suspicion aroused if we both wore spectacles.'
'O, well,' said the assenting Pitman, 'I rather counted on them;
but of course, if you insist. And at any rate, here is the cart
at the door.'
While the men were at work, Michael
concealed himself in the
closet among the debris of the
barrel and the wires of the piano;
and as soon as the coast was clear the pair sallied forth by the
lane, jumped into a hansom in the King's Road, and were driven
rapidly toward town. It was still cold and raw and boisterous;
the rain beat
strongly in their faces, but Michael refused to
have the glass let down; he had now suddenly donned the character
of cicerone, and
pointed out and lucidly commented on the sights
of London, as they drove. 'My dear fellow,' he said, 'you don't
seem to know anything of your native city. Suppose we visited the
Tower? No? Well, perhaps it's a
trifle out of our way. But,
anyway--Here, cabby, drive round by Trafalgar Square!' And on
that
historicbattlefield he insisted on
drawing up, while he
criticized the statues and gave the artist many curious details
(quite new to history) of the lives of the
celebrated men they
represented.
It would be difficult to express what Pitman suffered in the cab:
cold, wet,
terror in the capital degree, a grounded
distrust of
the
commander under whom he served, a sense of imprudency in the
matter of the low-necked shirt, a bitter sense of the decline and
fall involved in the deprivation of his beard, all these were
among the ingredients of the bowl. To reach the
restaurant, for
which they were deviously steering, was the first
relief. To hear
Michael bespeak a private room was a second and a still greater.
Nor, as they mounted the stair under the
guidance of an
unintelligible alien, did he fail to note with
gratitude the
fewness of the persons present, or the still more cheering fact
that the greater part of these were exiles from the land of
France. It was thus a
blessed thought that none of them would be
connected with the Seminary; for even the French professor,
though admittedly a Papist, he could
scarce imagine frequenting
so rakish an establishment.
The alien introduced them into a small bare room with a single
table, a sofa, and a dwarfish fire; and Michael called promptly
for more coals and a couple of brandies and sodas.
'O, no,' said Pitman, 'surely not--no more to drink.'
'I don't know what you would be at,' said Michael plaintively.
'It's
positively necessary to do something; and one shouldn't
smoke before meals I thought that was understood. You seem to
have no idea of hygiene.' And he compared his watch with the
clock upon the chimney-piece.
Pitman fell into bitter musing; here he was, ridiculously shorn,
absurdly
disguised, in the company of a
drunken man in
spectacles, and
waiting for a
champagneluncheon in a
restaurantpainfully foreign. What would his principals think, if they could
see him? What if they knew his
tragic and
deceitful errand?
From these
reflections he was aroused by the entrance of the
alien with the brandies and sodas. Michael took one and bade the
waiter pass the other to his friend.