universe existed no longer; the whole world had come to be within
himself. For the sick, the world begins at their pillow and ends at
the foot of the bed; and this
countryside was Raphael's sick-bed.
Who has not, at some time or other in his life, watched the comings
and goings of an ant, slipped straws into a yellow slug's one
breathing-hole,
studied the vagaries of a
slender dragon-fly, pondered
admiringly over the
countless veins in an oak-leaf, that bring the
colors of a rose window in some Gothic
cathedral into
contrast with
the
reddishbackground? Who has not looked long in delight at the
effects of sun and rain on a roof of brown tiles, at the dewdrops, or
at the variously shaped petals of the flower-cups? Who has not sunk
into these idle, absorbing meditations on things without, that have no
conscious end, yet lead to some
definite thought at last. Who, in
short, has not led a lazy life, the life of
childhood, the life of the
savage without his labor? This life without a care or a wish Raphael
led for some days' space. He felt a
distinctimprovement in his
condition, a wonderful sense of ease, that quieted his apprehensions
and soothed his sufferings.
He would climb the crags, and then find a seat high up on some peak
whence he could see a vast
expanse of distant country at a glance, and
he would spend whole days in this way, like a plant in the sun, or a
hare in its form. And at last, growing familiar with the appearances
of the plant-life about him, and of the changes in the sky, he
minutely noted the progress of everything
working around him in the
water, on the earth, or in the air. He tried to share the secret
impulses of nature, sought by
passiveobedience to become a part of
it, and to lie within the
conservative and despotic
jurisdiction that
regulates
instinctiveexistence. He no longer wished to steer his own
course.
Just as criminals in olden times were safe from the
pursuit of
justice, if they took
refuge under the shadow of the altar, so Raphael
made an effort to slip into the
sanctuary of life. He succeeded in
becoming an integral part of the great and
mighty fruit-producing
organization; he had adapted himself to the inclemency of the air, and
had dwelt in every cave among the rocks. He had
learned the ways and
habits of growth of every plant, had
studied the laws of the
watercourses and their beds, and had come to know the animals; he was
at last so
perfectly at one with this teeming earth, that he had in
some sort discerned its mysteries and caught the spirit of it.
The
infinitelyvaried forms of every natural kingdom were, to his
thinking, only developments of one and the same substance, different
combinations brought about by the same
impulse, endless emanations
from a measureless Being which was
acting, thinking, moving, and
growing, and in
harmony with which he longed to grow, to move, to
think, and act. He had fancifully blended his life with the life of
the crags; he had
deliberately planted himself there. During the
earliest days of his
sojourn in these pleasant surroundings, Valentin
tasted all the pleasures of
childhood again, thanks to the strange
hallucination of
apparent convalescence, which is not
unlike the
pauses of delirium that nature mercifully provides for those in pain.
He went about making
trifling discoveries,
setting to work on endless
things, and finishing none of them; the evening's plans were quite
forgotten in the morning; he had no cares, he was happy; he thought
himself saved.
One morning he had lain in bed till noon, deep in the dreams between
sleep and waking, which give to realities a
fantastic appearance, and
make the wildest fancies seem solid facts; while he was still
uncertain that he was not dreaming yet, he suddenly heard his hostess
giving a report of his health to Jonathan, for the first time.
Jonathan came to inquire after him daily, and the Auvergnate, thinking
no doubt that Valentin was still asleep, had not lowered the tones of
a voice developed in mountain air.