with an all-powerful person in Russia,' she went on,
persuasion in
every modulation of her voice, 'whose
intervention I need in order to
have justice done me in a matter that concerns both my fortune and my
position in the world, that is to say, the
recognition of my marriage
by the Emperor. Is not the Duc de Navarreins a cousin of yours? A
letter from him would settle everything.'
" 'I am yours,' I answered; 'command me.'
" 'You are very nice,' she said, pressing my hand. 'Come and have
dinner with me, and I will tell you everything, as if you were my
confessor.'
"So this
discreet,
suspicious woman, who had never been heard to speak
a word about her affairs to any one, was going to
consult me.
" 'Oh, how dear to me is this silence that you have imposed on me!' I
cried; 'but I would rather have had some sharper
ordeal still.' And
she smiled upon the intoxication in my eyes; she did not
reject my
admiration in any way; surely she loved me!
"Fortunately, my purse held just enough to satisfy her cab-man. The
day spent in her house, alone with her, was
delicious; it was the
first time that I had seen her in this way. Hitherto we had always
been kept apart by the presence of others, and by her formal
politeness and reserved manners, even during her
magnificent dinners;
but now it was as if I lived beneath her own roof--I had her all to
myself, so to speak. My
wandering fancy broke down barriers, arranged
the events of life to my
liking, and steeped me in happiness and love.
I seemed to myself her husband, I liked to watch her busied with
little details; it was a pleasure to me even to see her take off her
bonnet and shawl. She left me alone for a little, and came back,
charming, with her hair newly arranged; and this
dainty change of
toilette had been made for me!
"During the dinner she lavished attention upon me, and put charm
without end into those
numberless trifles to all
seeming, that make up
half of our
existencenevertheless. As we sat together before a
crackling fire, on
silken cushions surrounded by the most desirable
creations of Oriental
luxury; as I saw this woman whose famous beauty
made every heart beat, so close to me; an unapproachable woman who was
talking and bringing all her powers of coquetry to bear upon me; then
my blissful pleasure rose almost to the point of
suffering. To my
vexation, I recollected the important business to be concluded; I
determined to go to keep the appointment made for me for this evening.
" 'So soon?' she said,
seeing me take my hat.
"She loved me, then! or I thought so at least, from the bland tones in
which those two words were uttered. I would then have bartered a
couple of years of life for every hour she chose to grant to me, and
so
prolong my
ecstasy. My happiness was increased by the
extent of the
money I sacrificed. It was
midnight before she
dismissed me. But on
the
morrow, for all that, my
heroism cost me a good many remorseful
pangs; I was afraid the affair of the Memoirs, now of such importance
for me, might have fallen through, and rushed off to Rastignac. We
found the nominal author of my future labors just getting up.
"Finot read over a brief
agreement to me, in which nothing whatever
was said about my aunt, and when it had been signed he paid me down
fifty crowns, and the three of us breakfasted together. I had only
thirty francs left over, when I had paid for my new hat, for sixty
tickets at thirty sous each, and settled my debts; but for some days
to come the difficulties of living were removed. If I had but listened
to Rastignac, I might have had
abundance by
frankly adopting the
'English system.' He really wanted to establish my credit by setting
me to raise loans, on the theory that borrowing is the basis of
credit. To hear him talk, the future was the largest and most secure
kind of capital in the world. My future luck was hypothecated for the
benefit of my creditors, and he gave my custom to his
tailor, an
artist, and a young man's
tailor, who was to leave me in peace until I
married.
"The monastic life of study that I had led for three years past ended
on this day. I frequented Foedora's house very dili
gently, and tried