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The Magic Skin-Part17_Honore de Balzac(1799-1850)_Translated Works(翻译文学)-第2页

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showered upon me have left indelible impressions behind. Her voice

would cause a frenzy in me that I could hardly understand. I could



have copied the example of some prince of Lorraine, and held a live

coal in the hollow of my hand, if her fingers passed caressingly



through my hair the while. I felt no longer mere admiration and

desire: I was under the spell; I had met my destiny. When back again



under my own roof, I still vaguely saw Foedora in her own home, and

had some indefinable share in her life; if she felt ill, I suffered



too. The next day I used to say to her:

" 'You were not well yesterday.'



"How often has she not stood before me, called by the power of

ecstasy, in the silence of the night! Sometimes she would break in



upon me like a ray of light, make me drop my pen, and put science and

study to flight in grief and alarm, as she compelled my admiration by



the alluring pose I had seen but a short time before. Sometimes I went

to seek her in the spirit world, and would bow down to her as to a



hope, entreating her to let me hear the silver sounds of her voice,

and I would wake at length in tears.



"Once, when she had promised to go to the theatre with me, she took it

suddenly into her head to refuse to go out, and begged me to leave her



alone. I was in such despair over the perversity which cost me a day's

work, and (if I must confess it) my last shilling as well, that I went



alone where she was to have been, desiring to see the play she had

wished to see. I had scarcely seated myself when an electric shock



went through me. A voice told me, 'She is here!' I looked round, and

saw the countesshidden in the shadow at the back of her box in the



first tier. My look did not waver; my eyes saw her at once with

incredible clearness; my soul hovered about her life like an insect



above its flower. How had my senses received this warning? There is

something in these inward tremors that shallow people find



astonishing, but the phenomena of our inner consciousness are produced

as simple as those of externalvision; so I was not surprised, but



much vexed. My studies of our mental faculties, so little understood,

helped me at any rate to find in my own excitement some living proofs



of my theories. There was something exceedingly odd in this

combination of lover and man of science, of downrightidolatry of a



woman with the love of knowledge. The causes of the lover's despair

were highly interesting to the man of science; and the exultant lover,



on the other hand, put science far away from him in his joy. Foedora

saw me, and grew grave: I annoyed her. I went to her box during the



first interval, and finding her alone, I stayed there. Although we had

not spoken of love, I foresaw an explanation. I had not told her my



secret, still there was a kind of understanding between us. She used

to tell me her plans for amusement, and on the previous evening had



asked with friendly eagerness if I meant to call the next day. After

any witticism of hers, she would give me an inquiring glance, as if



she had sought to please me alone by it. She would soothe me if I was

vexed; and if she pouted, I had in some sort a right to ask an



explanation. Before she would pardon any blunder, she would keep me a

suppliant for long. All these things that we so relished, were so many



lovers' quarrels. What arch grace she threw into it all! and what

happiness it was to me!



"But now we stood before each other as strangers, with the close

relation between us both suspended. The countess was glacial: a



presentiment of trouble filled me.

" 'Will you come home with me?' she said, when the play was over.



"There had been a sudden change in the weather, and sleet was falling

in showers as we went out. Foedora's carriage was unable to reach the






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