light, hearkened to the awful and
uncertain voice of
inspiration, as
vision upon
vision poured from some unknown source through my
throbbing brain.
"No
earthly pleasure can compare with the
divine delight of watching
the dawn of an idea in the space of abstractions as it rises like the
morning sun; an idea that, better still, attains gradually like a
child to puberty and man's
estate. Study lends a kind of enchantment
to all our surroundings. The
wretched desk covered with brown leather
at which I wrote, my piano, bed, and
armchair, the odd wall-paper and
furniture seemed to have for me a kind of life in them, and to be
humble friends of mine and mute partakers of my
destiny. How often
have I confided my soul to them in a glance! A warped bit of beading
often met my eyes, and suggested new developments,--a
striking proof
of my
system, or a felicitous word by which to render my all but
inexpressible thought. By sheer
contemplation of the things about me I
discerned an expression and a
character in each. If the
setting sun
happened to steal in through my narrow window, they would take new
colors, fade or shine, grow dull or gay, and always amaze me with some
new effect. These
trifling incidents of a
solitary life, which escape
those
preoccupied with
outward affairs, make the
solace of prisoners.
And what was I but the
captive of an idea, imprisoned in my
system,
but sustained also by the
prospect of a
brilliant future? At each
obstacle that I
overcame, I seemed to kiss the soft hands of a woman
with a fair face, a
wealthy" target="_blank" title="a.富有的;丰富的">
wealthy, well-dressed woman, who should some day
say
softly, while she caressed my hair:
" 'Poor Angel, how thou hast suffered!'
"I had undertaken two great works--one a
comedy that in a very short
time must bring me
wealth and fame, and an entry into those circles
whither I wished to return, to exercise the royal privileges of a man
of
genius. You all saw nothing in that
masterpiece but the
blunder of
a young man fresh from college, a babyish fiasco. Your jokes clipped
the wings of a
throng of
illusions, which have never stirred since
within me. You, dear Emile, alone brought soothing to the deep wounds
that others had made in my heart. You alone will admire my 'Theory of
the Will.' I
devoted most of my time to that long work, for which I
studied Oriental languages, physiology and
anatomy. If I do not
deceive myself, my labors will complete the task begun by Mesmer,
Lavater, Gall, and Bichat, and open up new paths in science.
"There ends that fair life of mine, the daily sacrifice, the
unrecognized silkworm's toil, that is, perhaps, its own sole
recompense. Since attaining years of
discretion, until the day when I
finished my 'Theory,' I observed,
learned, wrote, and read
unintermittingly; my life was one long imposition, as schoolboys say.
Though by nature effeminately attached to Oriental indolence, sensual
in tastes, and a wooer of dreams, I worked
incessantly, and refused to
taste any of the enjoyments of Parisian life. Though a glutton, I
became abstemious; and
loving exercise and sea voyages as I did, and
haunted by the wish to visit many countries, still child enough to
play at ducks and drakes with pebbles over a pond, I led a sedentary
life with a pen in my fingers. I liked talking, but I went to sit and
mutely listen to professors who gave public lectures at the
Bibliotheque or the Museum. I slept upon my
solitary pallet like a
Benedictine brother, though woman was my one chimera, a chimera that
fled from me as I wooed it! In short, my life has been a cruel
contradiction, a
perpetual cheat. After that, judge a man!
"Sometimes my natural propensities broke out like a fire long
smothered. I was debarred from the women whose society I desired,
stripped of everything and lodged in an artist's
garret, and by a sort
of mirage or calenture I was surrounded by captivating
mistresses. I
- player [´pleiə] n.游戏的人;选手 (初中英语单词)
- brilliant [´briliənt] a.灿烂的;杰出的 (初中英语单词)
- reckon [´rekən] v.计算;认为;估计 (初中英语单词)
- hunger [´hʌŋgə] n.饥饿;渴望 (初中英语单词)
- peculiar [pi´kju:liə] a.特有的;奇异的 (初中英语单词)
- imagination [i,mædʒi´neiʃən] n.想象(力) (初中英语单词)
- fountain [´fauntin] n.泉水;源泉;根源 (初中英语单词)
- poverty [´pɔvəti] n.贫穷(乏,瘠);不足 (初中英语单词)
- proudly [´praudli] ad.骄傲地;傲慢地 (初中英语单词)
- innocent [´inəsənt] a.无罪的;单纯的 (初中英语单词)
- illness [´ilnis] n.生病,不健康,疾病 (初中英语单词)
- terror [´terə] n.恐怖;惊骇 (初中英语单词)
- mistress [´mistris] n.女主人;情妇;女能手 (初中英语单词)
- useless [´ju:sləs] a.无用的,无价值的 (初中英语单词)
- worthy [´wə:ði] a.有价值的;值得的 (初中英语单词)
- energy [´enədʒi] n.活力,精力;能力 (初中英语单词)
- responsible [ri´spɔnsəbəl] a.尽责的;责任重大的 (初中英语单词)
- wealthy [´welθi] a.富有的;丰富的 (初中英语单词)
- ignorant [´ignərənt] a.无知的,愚昧的 (初中英语单词)
- modest [´mɔdist] a.谦虚的;朴素的 (初中英语单词)
- genius [´dʒi:niəs] n.天才(人物);天赋 (初中英语单词)
- flourish [´flʌriʃ] v.茂盛;挥动 n.挥舞 (初中英语单词)
- strongly [´strɔŋli] ad.强烈地;强有力地 (初中英语单词)
- capacity [kə´pæsiti] n.容量;智能;能力 (初中英语单词)
- childish [´tʃaildiʃ] a.孩子的;幼稚的 (初中英语单词)
- frequent [´fri:kwənt] a.常见的,频繁的 (初中英语单词)
- reward [ri´wɔ:d] n.&v.报答;报酬;奖赏 (初中英语单词)
- prospect [´prɔspekt, prəs´pekt] n.景色;境界 v.勘察 (初中英语单词)
- feeble [´fi:bəl] a.虚弱的,无力的 (初中英语单词)
- occasionally [ə´keiʒənəli] ad.偶然地;非经常地 (初中英语单词)
- glimpse [glimps] n.&v.瞥见 (初中英语单词)
- velvet [´velvit] n.&a.天鹅绒(般的) (初中英语单词)
- daylight [´deilait] n.日光;黎明 (初中英语单词)
- sunlight [´sʌnlait] n.日光 (初中英语单词)
- prairie [´preəri] n.大草原 (初中英语单词)
- divine [di´vain] a.神圣的 v.预言 (初中英语单词)
- height [hait] n.高度;顶点;卓越 (初中英语单词)
- laughter [´lɑ:ftə] n.笑,笑声 (初中英语单词)
- charming [´tʃɑ:miŋ] a.可爱的;极好的 (初中英语单词)
- painter [´peintə] n.画家;(油)漆工 (初中英语单词)
- copper [´kɔpə] n.铜 a.铜制的 (初中英语单词)
- striking [´straikiŋ] a.显著的,明显的 (初中英语单词)
- contrast [´kɔntrɑ:st] n.对比 v.使对比(照) (初中英语单词)
- amount [ə´maunt] n.总数;数量 v.合计 (初中英语单词)
- neighboring [´neibəriŋ] a.邻近的;接壤的 (初中英语单词)
- scholar [´skɔlə, ´skɑ-] n.学者;奖学金获得者 (初中英语单词)
- visible [´vizəbəl] a.可见的;明显的 (初中英语单词)
- solution [sə´lu:ʃən] n.解答;解决;溶解 (初中英语单词)
- mental [´mentl] a.精神的;心理的 (初中英语单词)
- lonely [´ləunli] a.孤独的;无人烟的 (初中英语单词)
- uncertain [ʌn´sə:tn] a.不定的;不可靠的 (初中英语单词)
- vision [´viʒən] n.视觉;想象力;幻影 (初中英语单词)
- estate [i´steit] n.财产;庄园;等级 (初中英语单词)
- wretched [´retʃid] a.可怜的;倒霉的 (初中英语单词)
- system [´sistəm] n.系统,体系,制度 (初中英语单词)
- character [´kæriktə] n.特性;性质;人物;字 (初中英语单词)
- trifling [´traifliŋ] a.微小的;轻浮的 (初中英语单词)
- captive [´kæptiv] n.俘虏;捕获物 (初中英语单词)
- softly [´sɔftli] ad.软化地;柔和地 (初中英语单词)
- wealth [welθ] n.财富,财产 (初中英语单词)
- sphere [sfiə] n.圆体;天体;范围 (高中英语单词)
- tumult [´tju:mʌlt, ´tu:-] n.喧哗;激昂;烦乱 (高中英语单词)
- illusion [i´lu:ʒən] n.幻觉;幻影;错觉 (高中英语单词)
- heroic [hi´rəuik] a.英雄的,英勇的 (高中英语单词)
- baggage [´bægidʒ] n.行李 (高中英语单词)
- learned [´lə:nid] a.有学问的,博学的 (高中英语单词)
- landscape [´lændskeip] n.风景;景色;风景画 (高中英语单词)
- crooked [´krukid] a.弯曲的;畸形的 (高中英语单词)
- studied [´stʌdid] a.故意的;有计划的 (高中英语单词)
- melancholy [´melənkəli] n.忧郁 a.忧郁的 (高中英语单词)
- simplicity [sim´plisiti] n.简单;朴素 (高中英语单词)
- lodging [´lɔdʒiŋ] n.寄宿,住宿 (高中英语单词)
- landlady [´lænd,leidi] n.女房东;女店主 (高中英语单词)
- inspiration [,inspi´reiʃən] n.鼓舞;灵感;启发 (高中英语单词)
- earthly [´ə:θli] a.地球的;世俗的 (高中英语单词)
- destiny [´destini] n.命运 (高中英语单词)
- solitary [´sɔlitəri] a.独居的;孤独的 (高中英语单词)
- outward [´autwəd] a.外面的 ad.向外 (高中英语单词)
- comedy [´kɔmidi] n.喜剧;喜剧场面 (高中英语单词)
- blunder [´blʌndə] n.&v.(犯)大错;疏忽 (高中英语单词)
- throng [θrɔŋ] n.群众 v.拥挤;群集 (高中英语单词)
- oriental [ɔ:ri´entl] a.东方人的 (高中英语单词)
- loving [´lʌviŋ] a.爱的,有爱情的 (高中英语单词)
- perpetual [pə´petʃuəl] a.永恒的;终身的 (高中英语单词)
- flannel [´flænl] n.法兰绒 (英语四级单词)
- yearly [´jiəli] a.每年的;一年间的 (英语四级单词)
- recollect [rekə´lekt] v.重新集合;恢复 (英语四级单词)
- superfluous [su:´pə:fluəs, sju:-] a.过剩的,多余的 (英语四级单词)
- commonplace [´kɔmənpleis] a.平凡的;常见的 (英语四级单词)
- monotonous [mə´nɔtənəs] a.单(音)调的 (英语四级单词)
- parisian [pə´riziən] n.&a.巴黎人(的) (英语四级单词)
- cloister [´klɔistə] n.修道院;隐居处 (英语四级单词)
- cleanliness [´kli:nlinis] n.清洁 (英语四级单词)
- garret [´gærit] n.阁楼,顶楼 (英语四级单词)
- stirring [´stə:riŋ] a.活跃的;热闹的 (英语四级单词)
- armchair [´ɑ:mtʃeə] n.扶手椅 (英语四级单词)
- contemplation [,kɔntem´pleiʃən] n.注视;冥想;打算 (英语四级单词)
- setting [´setiŋ] n.安装;排字;布景 (英语四级单词)
- overcame [,əuvə´keim] overcome的过去式 (英语四级单词)
- masterpiece [´mɑ:stəpi:s] n.杰作;杰出的事 (英语四级单词)
- devoted [di´vəutid] a.献身…的,忠实的 (英语四级单词)
- anatomy [ə´nætəmi] n.解剖(学) (英语四级单词)
- discretion [di´skreʃən] n.谨慎;判断(力) (英语四级单词)
- housework [´hauswə:k] n.家务劳动 (英语六级单词)
- fervent [´fə:vənt] a.强烈的;热情的 (英语六级单词)
- recede [ri´si:d] vi.后退;收回 vt.交还 (英语六级单词)
- destitute [´destitju:t] a.贫穷的;缺乏…的 (英语六级单词)
- downright [´daunrait] a.直率的 ad.彻底 (英语六级单词)
- profile [´prəufail] n.侧面 vt.画…侧面 (英语六级单词)
- poetic [pəu´etik] a.理想化了的 (英语六级单词)
- populous [´pɔpjuləs] a.人口稠密的;众多的 (英语六级单词)
- blithe [´blaið] a.快乐的;冒失的 (英语六级单词)
- coverlet [´kʌvəlit] n.床罩,被单 (英语六级单词)
- weeping [´wi:piŋ] a.&n.哭泣(的) (英语六级单词)
- unspeakable [ʌn´spi:kəbl] a.不能以言语表达的 (英语六级单词)
- indescribable [,indis´kraibəbəl] a.难以形容的 (英语六级单词)
- preoccupied [pri´ɔkjupaid] a.被先占的;出神的 (英语六级单词)
- solace [´sɔləs] n.&vt.安慰(物);缓和 (英语六级单词)
- incessantly [in´sesntli] ad.不断地,不停地 (英语六级单词)