it," she said, stretching her hand over his head with a solemn
gesture.
"I have done all I could to save him," I said.
"Oh, you!" she said, "you are good; it is I who am guilty."
She stooped to that discolored brow, wiped the perspiration from it
and laid a kiss there
solemnly; but I saw, not without joy, that she
did it as an expiation.
"Blanche, I am thirsty," said the count in a
feeble voice.
"You see he knows me," she said giving him to drink.
Her
accent, her
affectionate manner to him seemed to me to take the
feelings that bound us together and immolate them to the sick man.
"Henriette," I said, "go and rest, I
entreat you."
"No more Henriette," she said, interrupting me with
imperious haste.
"Go to bed if you would not be ill. Your children, HE HIMSELF would
order you to be careful; it is a case where
selfishness becomes a
virtue."
"Yes," she said.
She went away, recommending her husband to my care by a
gesture which
would have seemed like approaching delirium if childlike grace had not
been mingled with the supplicating forces of
repentance. But the scene
was terrible, judged by the
habitual state of that pure soul; it
alarmed me; I feared the exaltation of her
conscience. When the doctor
came again, I revealed to him the nature of my pure Henriette's self-
reproach. This confidence, made discreetly, removed Monsieur Origet's
suspicions, and enabled him to quiet the
distress of that noble soul
by telling her that in any case the count had to pass through this
crisis, and that as for the nut-tree, his remaining there had done
more good than harm by developing the disease.
For fifty-two days the count hovered between life and death. Henriette
and I each watched twenty-six nights. Undoubtedly, Monsieur de
Mortsauf owed his life to our nursing and to the careful exactitude
with which we carried out the orders of Monsieur Origet. Like all
philosophical physicians, whose sagacious
observation of what passes
before them justifies many a doubt of noble actions when they are only
the
accomplishment of a duty, this man, while assisting the
countessand me in our
rivalry of
devotion, could not help watching us, with
scrutinizing glances, so afraid was he of being deceived in his
admiration.
"In diseases of this nature," he said to me at his third visit, "death
has a powerful auxiliary in the moral nature when that is seriously
disturbed, as it is in this case. The doctor, the family, the nurses
hold the patient's life in their hands; sometimes a single word, a
fear expressed by a
gesture, has the effect of poison."
As he spoke Origet
studied my face and expression; but he saw in my
eyes the clear look of an honest soul. In fact during the whole course
of this
distressing
illness there never passed through my mind a
single one of the
involuntary evil thoughts which do sometimes sear
the
consciences of the
innocent. To those who study nature in its
grandeur as a whole all tends to unity through assimilation. The moral
world must
undoubtedly be ruled by an analogous principle. In an pure
sphere all is pure. The
atmosphere of heaven was around my Henriette;
it seemed as though an evil desire must forever part me from her. Thus
she not only stood for happiness, but for
virtue; she WAS
virtue.
Finding us always
equally careful and
attentive, the doctor's words
and manners took a tone of respect and even pity; he seemed to say to
himself, "Here are the real sufferers; they hide their ills, and
forget them." By a
fortunate change, which, according to our excellent
doctor, is common enough in men who are completely shattered, Monsieur
de Mortsauf was patient,
obedient,
complained little, and showed
surprising docility,--he, who when well never did the simplest thing
without
discussion. The secret of this
submission to
medical care,
which he
formerly so derided, was an innate dread of death; another
contradiction in a man of tried courage. This dread may perhaps
explain several other peculiarities in the
character which the cruel
years of exile had developed.
Shall I admit to you, Natalie, and will you believe me? these fifty
days and the month that followed them were the happiest moments of my
life. Love, in the
celestial spaces of the soul is like a noble river