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and held him tightly to her, kissing him passionately. I went with



Madeleine to arrange two magnificent bouquets for the dinner-table in

honor of the young equestrian. When we returned to the salon the



countess said: "The fifteenth of October is certainly a great day with

me. Jacques has taken his first riding lesson, and I have just set the



last stitch in my furniture cover."

"Then, Blanche," said the count, laughing, "I must pay you for it."



He offered her his arm and took her to the first courtyard, where

stood an open carriage which her father had sent her, and for which



the count had purchased two English horses. The old huntsman had

prepared the surprise while Jacques was taking his lesson. We got into



the carriage, and went to see where the new avenue entered the main

road towards Chinon. As we returned, the countess said to me in an



anxious tone, "I am too happy; to me happiness is like an illness,--it

overwhelms me; I fear it may vanish like a dream."



I loved her too passionately not to feel jealous,--I who could give

her nothing! In my rage against myself I longed for some means of



dying for her. She asked me to tell her the thoughts that filled my

eyes, and I told her honestly. She was more touched than by all her



presents; then taking me to the portico, she poured comfort into my

heart. "Love me as my aunt loved me," she said, "and that will be



giving me your life; and if I take it, must I not ever be grateful to

you?



"It was time I finished my tapestry," she added as we re-entered the

salon, where I kissed her hand as if to renew my vows. "Perhaps you do



not know, Felix, why I began so formidable a piece of work. Men find

the occupations of life a great resource against troubles; the



management of affairs distracts their mind; but we poor women have no

support within ourselves against our sorrows. To be able to smile



before my children and my husband when my heart was heavy I felt the

need of controlling my inward sufferings by some physical exercise. In



this way I escaped the depression which is apt to follow a great

strain upon the moral strength, and likewise all outbursts of



excitement. The mere action of lifting my arm regularly as I drew the

stitches rocked my thoughts and gave to my spirit when the tempest



raged a monotonous ebb and flow which seemed to regulate its emotions.

To every stitch I confided my secrets,--you understand me, do you not?



Well, while doing my last chair I have thought much, too much, of you,

dear friend. What you have put into your bouquets I have said in my



embroidery."

The dinner was lovely. Jacques, like all children when you take notice



of them, jumped into my arms when he saw the flowers I had arranged

for him as a garland. His mother pretended to be jealous; ah, Natalie,



you should have seen the charming grace with which the dear child

offered them to her. In the afternoon we played a game of backgammon,



I alone against Monsieur and Madame de Mortsauf, and the count was

charming. They accompanied me along the road to Frapesle in the



twilight of a tranquil evening, one of those harmonious evenings when

our feelings gain in depth what they lose in vivacity. It was a day of



days in this poor woman's life; a spot of brightness which often

comforted her thoughts in painful hours.



Soon, however, the riding lessons became a subject of contention. The

countessjustly feared the count's harsh reprimands to his son.



Jacques grew thin, dark circles surrounded his sweet blue eyes; rather

than trouble his mother, he suffered in silence. I advised him to tell



his father he was tired when the count's temper was violent; but that

expedient proved unavailing, and it became necessary to substitute the



old huntsman as a teacher in place of the father, who could with

difficulty be induced to resign his pupil. Angry reproaches and



contentions began once more; the count found a text for his continual

complaints in the base ingratitude of women; he flung the carriage,



horses, and liveries in his wife's face twenty times a day. At last a

circumstance occurred on which a man with his nature and his disease



naturally fastened eagerly. The cost of the buildings at the Cassine

and the Rhetoriere proved to be half as much again as the estimate.






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