I listened to the ring-dove plaints of my own heart, I heard again the
simple tones of that ingenuous confidence, I gathered in the air the
emanations of that soul which
henceforth must ever seek me. How grand
that woman seemed to me, with her
absoluteforgetfulness of self, her
religion of mercy to wounded hearts,
feeble or
suffering, her declared
allegiance to her legal yoke. She was there,
serene upon her pyre of
saint and
martyr. I adored her face as it shone to me in the darkness.
Suddenly I fancied I perceived a meaning in her words, a mysterious
significance which made her to my eyes
sublime. Perhaps she longed
that I should be to her what she was to the little world around her.
Perhaps she sought to draw from me her strength and consolation,
putting me thus within her
sphere, her equal, or perhaps above her.
The stars, say some bold builders of the
universe,
communicate to each
other light and
motion. This thought lifted me to
ethereal regions. I
entered once more the heaven of my former visions; I found a meaning
for the miseries of my
childhood in the illimitable happiness to which
they had led me.
Spirits quenched by tears, hearts misunderstood, saintly Clarissa
Harlowes forgotten or ignored, children neglected, exiles
innocent of
wrong, all ye who enter life through
barren ways, on whom men's faces
everywhere look
coldly, to whom ears close and hearts are shut, cease
your complaints! You alone can know the infinitude of joy held in that
moment when one heart opens to you, one ear listens, one look answers
yours. A single day effaces all past evil. Sorrow, despondency,
despair, and
melancholy, passed but not forgotten, are links by which
the soul then fastens to its mate. Woman falls heir to all our past,
our sighs, our lost illusions, and gives them back to us ennobled; she
explains those former griefs as
payment claimed by
destiny for joys
eternal, which she brings to us on the day our souls are
wedded. The
angels alone can utter the new name by which that
sacred love is
called, and none but women, dear
martyrs, truly know what Madame de
Mortsauf now became to me--to me, poor and desolate.
CHAPTER II
FIRST LOVE
This scene took place on a Tuesday. I waited until Sunday and did not
cross the river. During those five days great events were
happening at
Clochegourde. The count received his brevet as general of
brigade, the
cross of Saint Louis, and a
pension of four thousand francs. The Duc
de Lenoncourt-Givry, made peer of France, recovered possession of two
forests, resumed his place at court, and his wife regained all her
unsold property, which had been made part of the
imperial crown lands.
The Comtesse de Mortsauf thus became an heiress. Her mother had
arrived at Clochegourde, bringing her a hundred thousand francs
economized at Givry, the
amount of her dowry, still unpaid and never
asked for by the count in spite of his
poverty. In all such matters of
external life the conduct of this man was
proudly disinterested.
Adding to this sum his own few savings he was able to buy two
neighboring
estates, which would yield him some nine thousand francs a
year. His son would of course succeed to the grandfather's peerage,
and the count now saw his way to
entail the
estate upon him without
injury to Madeleine, for whom the Duc de Lenoncourt would no doubt
assist in promoting a good marriage.
These arrangements and this new happiness shed some balm upon the
count's sore mind. The presence of the Duchesse de Lenoncourt at
Clochegourde was a great event to the
neighborhood. I reflected
gloomily that she was a great lady, and the thought made me conscious
of the spirit of caste in the daughter which the
nobility of her
sentiments had
hithertohidden from me. Who was I--poor,
insignificant, and with no future but my courage and my faculties? I
did not then think of the consequences of the Restoration either for
me or for others. On Sunday morning, from the private
chapel where I
sat with Monsieur and Madame de Chessel and the Abbe de Quelus, I cast
an eager glance at another
lateralchapel occupied by the
duchess and
her daughter, the count and his children. The large straw hat which
hid my idol from me did not tremble, and this unconsciousness of my
presence seemed to bind me to her more than all the past. This noble
Henriette de Lenoncourt, my Henriette, whose life I longed to
garland,