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with my eyes the woman who had come down to me from heaven. Sick with

the first fever of the heart I wandered through the rooms, unable to



find mine Unknown, until at last I went home to bed, another man.

A new soul, a soul with rainbow wings, had burst its chrysalis.



Descending from the azure wastes where I had long admired her, my star

had come to me a woman, with undiminished lustre and purity. I loved,



knowing naught of love. How strange a thing, this first irruption of

the keenest human emotion in the heart of a man! I had seen pretty



women in other places, but none had made the slightest impression upon

me. Can there be an appointed hour, a conjunction of stars, a union of



circumstances, a certain woman among all others to awaken an exclusive

passion at the period of life when love includes the whole sex?



The thought that my Elect lived in Touraine made the air I breathed

delicious; the blue of the sky seemed bluer than I had ever yet seen



it. I raved internally, but externally I was seriously ill, and my

mother had fears, not unmingled with remorse. Like animals who know



when danger is near, I hid myself away in the garden to think of the

kiss that I had stolen. A few days after this memorable ball my mother



attributed my neglect of study, my indifference to her tyrannical

looks and sarcasms, and my gloomybehavior to the condition of my



health. The country, that perpetualremedy for ills that doctors

cannot cure, seemed to her the best means of bringing me out of my



apathy. She decided that I should spend a few weeks at Frapesle, a

chateau on the Indre midway between Montbazon and Azay-le-Rideau,



which belonged to a friend of hers, to whom, no doubt, she gave

private instructions.



By the day when I thus for the first time gained my liberty I had swum

so vigorously in Love's ocean that I had well-nigh crossed it. I knew



nothing of mine unknown lady, neither her name, nor where to find her;

to whom, indeed, could I speak of her? My sensitive nature so



exaggerated the inexplicable fears which beset all youthful hearts at

the first approach of love that I began with the melancholy which



often ends a hopelesspassion. I asked nothing better than to roam

about the country, to come and go and live in the fields. With the



courage of a child that fears no failure, in which there is something

really chivalrous, I determined to search every chateau in Touraine,



travelling on foot, and saying to myself as each old tower came in

sight, "She is there!"



Accordingly, of a Thursday morning I left Tours by the barrier of

Saint-Eloy, crossed the bridges of Saint-Sauveur, reached Poncher



whose every house I examined, and took the road to Chinon. For the

first time in my life I could sit down under a tree or walk fast or



slow as I pleased without being dictated to by any one. To a poor lad

crushed under all sorts of despotism (which more or less does weigh



upon all youth) the first employment of freedom, even though it be

expended upon nothing, lifts the soul with irrepressible buoyancy.



Several reasons combined to make that day one of enchantment. During

my school years I had never been taken to walk more than two or three



miles from a city; yet there remained in my mind among the earliest

recollections of my childhood that feeling for the beautiful which the



scenery about Tours inspires. Though quite untaught as to the poetry

of such a landscape, I was, unknown to myself, critical upon it, like






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