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The Lily of the Valley-Part1_Honore de Balzac(1799-1850)_Translated Works(翻译文学)-第2页

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brought back at night by my father's valet. I was sent with a scanty

lunch, while my school-fellows brought plenty of good food. This



trifling contrast between my privations and their prosperity made me

suffer deeply. The famous potted pork prepared at Tours and called



"rillettes" and "rillons" was the chief feature of their mid-day meal,

between the early breakfast and the parent's dinner, which was ready



when we returned from school. This preparation of meat, much prized by

certain gourmands, is seldom seen at Tours on aristocratic tables; if



I had ever heard of it before I went to school, I certainly had never

had the happiness of seeing that brown mess spread on slices of bread



and butter. Nevertheless, my desire for those "rillons" was so great

that it grew to be a fixed idea, like the longing of an elegant



Parisian duchess for the stews cooked by a porter's wife,--longings

which, being a woman, she found means to satisfy. Children guess each



other's covetousness, just as you are able to read a man's love, by

the look in the eyes; consequently I became an admirable butt for



ridicule. My comrades, nearly all belonging to the lower bourgeoisie,

would show me their "rillons" and ask if I knew how they were made and



where they were sold, and why it was that I never had any. They licked

their lips as they talked of them--scraps of pork pressed in their own



fat and looking like cooked truffles; they inspected my lunch-basket,

and finding nothing better than Olivet cheese or dried fruits, they



plagued me with questions: "Is that all you have? have you really

nothing else?"--speeches which made me realize the difference between



my brother and myself.

This contrast between my own abandonment and the happiness of others



nipped the roses of my childhood and blighted my budding youth. The

first time that I, mistaking my comrades' actions for generosity, put



forth my hand to take the dainty I had so long coveted and which was

now hypocritically held out to me, my tormentor pulled back his slice



to the great delight of his comrades who were expecting that result.

If noble and distinguished minds are, as we often find them, capable



of vanity, can we blame the child who weeps when despised and jeered

at? Under such a trial many boys would have turned into gluttons and



cringing beggars. I fought to escape my persecutors. The courage of

despair made me formidable; but I was hated, and thus had no



protection against treachery. One evening as I left school I was

struck in the back by a handful of small stones tied in a



handkerchief. When the valet, who punished the perpetrator, told this

to my mother she exclaimed: "That dreadful child! he will always be a



torment to us."

Finding that I inspired in my schoolmates the same repulsion that was



felt for me by my family, I sank into a horribledistrust of myself. A

second fall of snow checked the seeds that were germinating in my



soul. The boys whom I most liked were notorious scamps; this fact

roused my pride and I held aloof. Again I was shut up within myself



and had no vent for the feelings with which my heart was full. The

master of the school, observing that I was gloomy, disliked by my



comrades, and always alone, confirmed the family verdict as to my

sulky temper. As soon as I could read and write, my mother transferred



me to Pont-le-Voy, a school in charge of Oratorians who took boys of

my age into a form called the "class of the Latin steps" where dull



lads with torpid brains were apt to linger.

There I remained eight years without seeing my family; living the life



of a pariah,--partly for the following reason. I received but three

francs a month pocket-money, a sum barely sufficient to buy the pens,



ink, paper, knives, and rules which we were forced to supply

ourselves. Unable to buy stilts or skipping-ropes, or any of the



things that were used in the playground, I was driven out of the

games; to gain admission on suffrage I should have had to toady the






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