brought back at night by my father's valet. I was sent with a scanty
lunch, while my school-fellows brought plenty of good food. This
trifling
contrast between my privations and their
prosperity made me
suffer deeply. The famous potted pork prepared at Tours and called
"rillettes" and "rillons" was the chief feature of their mid-day meal,
between the early breakfast and the parent's dinner, which was ready
when we returned from school. This
preparation of meat, much prized by
certain gourmands, is seldom seen at Tours on
aristocratic tables; if
I had ever heard of it before I went to school, I certainly had never
had the happiness of
seeing that brown mess spread on slices of bread
and butter. Nevertheless, my desire for those "rillons" was so great
that it grew to be a fixed idea, like the
longing of an elegant
Parisian
duchess for the stews cooked by a porter's wife,--
longings
which, being a woman, she found means to satisfy. Children guess each
other's covetousness, just as you are able to read a man's love, by
the look in the eyes;
consequently I became an
admirable butt for
ridicule. My comrades, nearly all be
longing to the lower bourgeoisie,
would show me their "rillons" and ask if I knew how they were made and
where they were sold, and why it was that I never had any. They licked
their lips as they talked of them--scraps of pork pressed in their own
fat and looking like cooked truffles; they inspected my lunch-basket,
and
finding nothing better than Olivet
cheese or dried fruits, they
plagued me with questions: "Is that all you have? have you really
nothing else?"--speeches which made me realize the difference between
my brother and myself.
This
contrast between my own
abandonment and the happiness of others
nipped the roses of my
childhood and blighted my budding youth. The
first time that I, mistaking my comrades' actions for
generosity, put
forth my hand to take the
dainty I had so long coveted and which was
now hypocritically held out to me, my tormentor pulled back his slice
to the great delight of his comrades who were expecting that result.
If noble and
distinguished minds are, as we often find them, capable
of
vanity, can we blame the child who weeps when despised and jeered
at? Under such a trial many boys would have turned into gluttons and
cringing beggars. I fought to escape my persecutors. The courage of
despair made me
formidable; but I was hated, and thus had no
protection against
treachery. One evening as I left school I was
struck in the back by a
handful of small stones tied in a
handkerchief. When the valet, who punished the perpetrator, told this
to my mother she exclaimed: "That
dreadful child! he will always be a
torment to us."
Finding that I inspired in my schoolmates the same repulsion that was
felt for me by my family, I sank into a
horribledistrust of myself. A
second fall of snow checked the seeds that were germinating in my
soul. The boys whom I most liked were
notorious scamps; this fact
roused my pride and I held aloof. Again I was shut up within myself
and had no vent for the feelings with which my heart was full. The
master of the school, observing that I was
gloomy, disliked by my
comrades, and always alone, confirmed the family
verdict as to my
sulky
temper. As soon as I could read and write, my mother transferred
me to Pont-le-Voy, a school in
charge of Oratorians who took boys of
my age into a form called the "class of the Latin steps" where dull
lads with torpid brains were apt to linger.
There I remained eight years without
seeing my family; living the life
of a pariah,--
partly for the following reason. I received but three
francs a month pocket-money, a sum
barely sufficient to buy the pens,
ink, paper,
knives, and rules which we were forced to supply
ourselves. Unable to buy stilts or skipping-ropes, or any of the
things that were used in the
playground, I was
driven out of the
games; to gain
admission on
suffrage I should have had to toady the
- monsieur [mə´sjə:] n.先生 (初中英语单词)
- academy [ə´kædəmi] n.专科学校;学会;协会 (初中英语单词)
- foundation [faun´deiʃən] n.建立;基金;地基 (初中英语单词)
- literary [´litərəri] a.文学(上)的 (初中英语单词)
- privilege [´privilidʒ] n.特权 vt.给….特权 (初中英语单词)
- soften [´sɔfən] v.使(变)软(柔和) (初中英语单词)
- jealous [´dʒeləs] a.妒忌的 (初中英语单词)
- character [´kæriktə] n.特性;性质;人物;字 (初中英语单词)
- solemn [´sɔləm] a.严肃的;隆重的 (初中英语单词)
- mental [´mentl] a.精神的;心理的 (初中英语单词)
- genius [´dʒi:niəs] n.天才(人物);天赋 (初中英语单词)
- silently [´sailəntli] ad.寂静地;沉默地 (初中英语单词)
- domestic [də´mestik] a.家庭的;本国的 (初中英语单词)
- contain [kən´tein] v.包含;容纳;抑制 (初中英语单词)
- vanity [´væniti] n.虚荣;自负;空虚 (初中英语单词)
- coldness [´kəuldnis] n.寒冷;冷淡 (初中英语单词)
- rescue [´reskju:] vt.&n.救援;挽救 (初中英语单词)
- ignorant [´ignərənt] a.无知的,愚昧的 (初中英语单词)
- amusement [ə´mju:zmənt] n.娱乐;文娱设施 (初中英语单词)
- virtue [´və:tʃu:] n.美德;贞操;长处 (初中英语单词)
- partly [´pɑ:tli] ad.部分地;不完全地 (初中英语单词)
- affection [ə´fekʃən] n.友爱;慈爱 (初中英语单词)
- hatred [´heitrid] n.憎恨,敌意 (初中英语单词)
- weakness [´wi:knis] n.虚弱;弱点,缺点 (初中英语单词)
- resistance [ri´zistəns] n.抵抗;抵制;耐力 (初中英语单词)
- occasionally [ə´keiʒənəli] ad.偶然地;非经常地 (初中英语单词)
- torture [´tɔ:tʃə] n.&vt.折磨;痛苦;拷问 (初中英语单词)
- neglect [ni´glekt] vt.&n.疏忽;忽视;忽略 (初中英语单词)
- incident [´insidənt] n.小事件;事变 (初中英语单词)
- passion [´pæʃən] n.激情;激怒;恋爱 (初中英语单词)
- chatter [´tʃætə] vi.&n.饶舌;闲聊 (初中英语单词)
- absence [´æbsəns] n.不在,缺席;缺乏 (初中英语单词)
- horror [´hɔrə] n.恐怖;战栗 (初中英语单词)
- stupid [´stju:pid] a.愚蠢的;糊涂的 (初中英语单词)
- disposition [,dispə´ziʃən] n.安排;性情;倾向 (初中英语单词)
- excitement [ik´saitmənt] n.兴奋;骚动;煽动 (初中英语单词)
- attractive [ə´træktiv] a.有吸引力;诱人的 (初中英语单词)
- unable [ʌn´eibəl] a.不能的;无能为力的 (初中英语单词)
- delicious [di´liʃəs] a.美味的,可口的 (初中英语单词)
- sovereign [´sɔvrin] a.至高无上的 n.君主 (初中英语单词)
- contrast [´kɔntrɑ:st] n.对比 v.使对比(照) (初中英语单词)
- prosperity [prɔ´speriti] n.繁荣;成功;幸运 (初中英语单词)
- preparation [,prepə´reiʃən] n.准备;预习(时间) (初中英语单词)
- nevertheless [,nevəðə´les] conj.&ad.然而;不过 (初中英语单词)
- cheese [tʃi:z] n.干酪,乳酪 (初中英语单词)
- childhood [´tʃaildhud] n.幼年(时代);早期 (初中英语单词)
- dreadful [´dredful] a.可怕的;讨厌的 (初中英语单词)
- horrible [´hɔrəbəl] a.可怕的;恐怖的 (初中英语单词)
- temper [´tempə] n.韧度 v.锻炼;调和 (初中英语单词)
- charge [tʃɑ:dʒ] v.收费;冲锋 n.费用 (初中英语单词)
- barely [´beəli] ad.公开地;仅仅 (初中英语单词)
- driven [´driv(ə)n] drive 的过去分词 (初中英语单词)
- admission [əd´miʃən] n.接纳;承认 (初中英语单词)
- overtake [,əuvə´teik] vt.追上;赶上 (高中英语单词)
- marine [mə´ri:n] a.海的 n.海军陆战队 (高中英语单词)
- confession [kən´feʃən] n.招供;认错;交待 (高中英语单词)
- obedience [ə´bi:djəns] n.服从;顺从 (高中英语单词)
- indifference [in´difrəns] n.冷淡;无足轻重 (高中英语单词)
- compact [´kɔmpækt] n.契约 a.挤满的 (高中英语单词)
- injustice [in´dʒʌstis] n.不公正,不公平 (高中英语单词)
- imitation [,imi´teiʃən] n.模仿;仿制品;赝品 (高中英语单词)
- deprive [di´praiv] vt.剥夺,使丧失 (高中英语单词)
- loving [´lʌviŋ] a.爱的,有爱情的 (高中英语单词)
- expectation [,ekspek´teiʃən] n.期待(望);预期 (高中英语单词)
- sullen [´sʌlən] a.不高兴的 (高中英语单词)
- resignation [,rezig´neiʃən] n.辞职(书);放弃;顺从 (高中英语单词)
- certainty [´sə:tənti] n.确实(性);确信 (高中英语单词)
- melancholy [´melənkəli] n.忧郁 a.忧郁的 (高中英语单词)
- severely [si´viəli] ad.剧烈地;严格地 (高中英语单词)
- intensify [in´tensifai] n.加强;加剧 (高中英语单词)
- forbidden [fə´bidn] forbid的过去分词 (高中英语单词)
- confide [kən´faid] v.委托;吐露;信任 (高中英语单词)
- inward [´inwəd] a.向内的;心灵上的 (高中英语单词)
- lasting [´lɑ:stiŋ] a.持久的;永远的 (高中英语单词)
- consequently [´kɔnsikwəntli] ad.因此,所以 (高中英语单词)
- seeing [si:iŋ] see的现在分词 n.视觉 (高中英语单词)
- longing [´lɔŋiŋ] n.&a.渴望(的) (高中英语单词)
- duchess [´dʌtʃis] n.公爵夫人;女公爵 (高中英语单词)
- admirable [´ædmərəbəl] a.极佳的,值得赞美的 (高中英语单词)
- finding [´faindiŋ] n.发现物;判断;结果 (高中英语单词)
- generosity [,dʒenə´rɔsiti] n.慷慨;慷慨的行为 (高中英语单词)
- dainty [´deinti] a.秀丽的 n.美味 (高中英语单词)
- distinguished [di´stiŋgwiʃt] a.卓越的,著名的 (高中英语单词)
- formidable [´fɔ:midəbəl] a.可怕的;艰难的 (高中英语单词)
- treachery [´tretʃəri] n.背叛;背信弃义 (高中英语单词)
- handful [hændful] n.一把,少数,一小撮 (高中英语单词)
- distrust [dis´trʌst] n.&vt.不信任,怀疑 (高中英语单词)
- gloomy [´glu:mi] a.昏暗的;忧郁的 (高中英语单词)
- playground [´pleigraund] n.操场;运动场 (高中英语单词)
- suffrage [´sʌfridʒ] n.投票(权),选举权 (高中英语单词)
- edifice [´edifis] n.大厦;(知识的)体系 (英语四级单词)
- inscribe [in´skraib] vt.题写;铭刻;题名 (英语四级单词)
- submission [səb´miʃən] n.屈服;谦恭 (英语四级单词)
- intercourse [´intəkɔ:s] n.交际;往来;交流 (英语四级单词)
- blessed [´blesid] a.享福的;神圣的 (英语四级单词)
- sentimental [,senti´mentl] a.感伤的;多愁善感的 (英语四级单词)
- balcony [´bælkəni] n.阳台;(戏院的)楼厅 (英语四级单词)
- reservoir [´rezəvwɑ:] n.水库;蓄水池 (英语四级单词)
- sickly [´sikli] a.多病的;病态的 (英语四级单词)
- aristocratic [,æristə´krætik] a.贵族政治的;贵族的 (英语四级单词)
- notorious [nəu´tɔ:riəs] a.臭名昭著的 (英语四级单词)
- verdict [´və:dikt] n.裁决,判决;判定 (英语四级单词)
- knives [naivz] knife的复数 (英语四级单词)
- phantom [´fæntəm] n.幽灵;幻影 a.幻想的 (英语六级单词)
- infirmity [in´fə:miti] n.虚弱;意志薄弱 (英语六级单词)
- instinctive [in´stiŋktiv] a.本能的,天性的 (英语六级单词)
- fraternal [frə´tə:nəl] a.兄弟(般)的;友爱的 (英语六级单词)
- incessantly [in´sesntli] ad.不断地,不停地 (英语六级单词)
- gaiety [´geəti] n.欢乐;乐事;华丽 (英语六级单词)
- liking [´laikiŋ] n.爱好;嗜好;喜欢 (英语六级单词)
- governess [´gʌvənis] n.女家庭教师 (英语六级单词)
- mademoiselle [,mædəmə´zel] n.小姐;法国女教师 (英语六级单词)
- indescribable [,indis´kraibəbəl] a.难以形容的 (英语六级单词)
- robust [rəu´bʌst] a.强建的;茁壮的 (英语六级单词)
- abandonment [ə´bændənmənt] n.抛弃;放纵 (英语六级单词)