pleasant littlenesses. What do you say, Antoinette?"
Woman of the world though she was, the Duchess seemed agitated,
yet she replied in a natural voice that
deceived her fair
friend--
"I am sorry to miss him. I took a great interest in him, and
promised to myself to be his
sincere friend. I like great
natures, dear friend,
ridiculous though you may think it. To
give oneself to a fool is a clear
confession, is it not, that one
is governed
wholly by one's senses?
Mme de Serizy's "preferences" had always been for commonplace
men; her lover at the moment, the Marquis d'Aiglemont, was a
fine, tall man.
After this, the Countess soon took her
departure, you may be sure
Mme de Langeais saw hope in Armand's withdrawal from the world;
she wrote to him at once; it was a
humble, gentle letter, surely
it would bring him if he loved her still. She sent her footman
with it next day. On the servant's return, she asked whether he
had given the letter to M. de Montriveau himself, and could not
restrain the
movement of joy at the affirmative answer. Armand
was in Paris! He stayed alone in his house; he did not go out
into society! So she was loved! All day long she waited for an
answer that never came. Again and again, when
impatience grew
unbearable, Antoinette found reasons for his delay. Armand felt
embarrassed; the reply would come by post; but night came, and
she could not
deceive herself any longer. It was a
dreadful day,
a day of pain grown sweet, of
intolerable heart-throbs, a day
when the heart squanders the very forces of life in riot.
Next day she sent for an answer.
"M. le Marquis sent word that he would call on Mme la
Duchesse," reported Julien.
She fled lest her happiness should be seen in her face, and flung
herself on her couch to
devour her first sensations.
"He is coming!"
The thought rent her soul. And, in truth, woe unto those for
whom
suspense is not the most
horrible time of
tempest, while it
increases and multiplies the sweetest joys; for they have nothing
in them of that flame which quickens the images of things, giving
to them a second
existence, so that we cling as closely to the
pure
essence as to its
outward and
visiblemanifestation. What
is
suspense in love but a
constantdrawing upon an unfailing
hope?--a
submission to the terrible scourging of
passion, while
passion is yet happy, and the disenchantment of
reality has not
set in. The
constant putting forth of strength and longing,
called
suspense, is surely, to the human soul, as
fragrance to
the flower that
breathes it forth. We soon leave the brilliant,
unsatisfying colours of tulips and coreopsis, but we turn again
and again to drink in the
sweetness of orange-blossoms or
volkameria-flowers compared
separately, each in its own land, to
a betrothed bride, full of love, made fair by the past and
future.
The Duchess
learned the joys of this new life of hers through the
rapture with which she received the scourgings of love. As this
change
wrought in her, she saw other destinies before her, and a
better meaning in the things of life. As she
hurried to her
dressing-room, she understood what
studied adornment and the most
minute attention to her
toilet mean when these are undertaken for
love's sake and not for
vanity. Even now this making ready
helped her to bear the long time of
waiting. A relapse of
intense
agitation set in when she was dressed; she passed through
nervous paroxysms brought on by the
dreadful power which sets the
whole mind in
ferment. Perhaps that power is only a disease,
though the pain of it is sweet. The Duchess was dressed and
waiting at two o clock in the afternoon. At half-past eleven
that night M. de Montriveau had not arrived. To try to give an
idea of the
anguish endured by a woman who might be said to be
the spoilt child of civilisation, would be to attempt to say how
many imaginings the heart can
condense into one thought. As well
endeavour to
measure the forces expended by the soul in a sigh