sister?"
As they rode on their way again, Genestas said to the doctor, "Will
you regard it as inquisitiveness on my part if I ask to hear more of
La Fosseuse? I have come to know the story of many lives through you,
and hers cannot be less interesting than some of these."
Benassis stopped his horse as he answered. "Perhaps you will not share
in the feelings of interest awakened in me by La Fosseuse. Her fate is
like my own; we have both alike missed our
vocation; it is the
similarity of our lots that occasions my
sympathy for her and the
feelings that I experience at the sight of her. You either followed
your natural bent when you entered upon a military
career, or you took
a
liking for your
calling after you had adopted it,
otherwise you
would not have borne the heavy yoke of military
discipline till now;
you,
therefore, cannot understand the sorrows of a soul that must
always feel renewed within it the stir of
longings that can never be
realized; nor the pining
existence of a creature forced to live in an
alien
sphere. Such
sufferings as these are known only to these natures
and to God who sends their afflictions, for they alone can know how
deeply the events of life
affect them. You yourself have seen the
miseries produced by long wars, till they have almost ceased to
impress you, but have you never detected a trace of
sadness in your
mind at the sight of a tree
bearing sere leaves in the midst of
spring, some tree that is pining and dying because it has been planted
in soil in which it could not find the sustenance required for its
full development? Ever since my twentieth year, there has been
something
painful and
melancholy for me about the drooping of a
stunted plant, and now I cannot bear the sight and turn my head away.
My
youthful sorrow was a vague presentiment of the sorrows of my later
life; it was a kind of
sympathy between my present and a future dimly
foreshadowed by the life of the tree that before its time was going
the way of all trees and men."
"I thought that you had suffered when I saw how kind you were."
"You see, sir," the doctor went on without any reply to the remark
made by Genestas, "that to speak of La Fosseuse is to speak of myself.
La Fosseuse is a plant in an alien soil; a human plant moreover,
consumed by sad thoughts that have their source in the depths of her
nature, and that never cease to
multiply. The poor girl is never well
and strong. The soul within her kills the body. This
fragile creature
was
suffering from the sorest of all troubles, a trouble which
receives the least possible
sympathy from our
selfish world, and how
could I look on with
indifferent eyes? for I, a man, strong to wrestle
with pain, was
nightly tempted to refuse to bear the burden of a
sorrow like hers. Perhaps I might
actually have refused to bear it but
for a thought of religion which soothes my
impatience and fills my
heart with sweet illusions. Even if we were not children of the same
Father in heaven, La Fosseuse would still be my sister in
suffering!"
Benassis pressed his knees against his horse's sides, and swept ahead
of Commandant Genestas, as if he
shrank from continuing this
conversation any further. When their horses were once more cantering
abreast of each other, he spoke again: "Nature has created this poor
girl for sorrow," he said, "as she has created other women for joy. It
is impossible to do
otherwise than believe in a future life at the
sight of natures thus predestined to suffer. La Fosseuse is sensitive
and highly strung. If the weather is dark and cloudy, she is
depressed; she 'weeps when the sky is weeping,' a
phrase of her own;
she sings with the birds; she grows happy and
serene under a cloudless
sky; the
loveliness of a bright day passes into her face; a soft sweet
perfume is an inexhaustible pleasure to her; I have seen her take
delight the whole day long in the scent breathed forth by some
mignonette; and, after one of those rainy mornings that bring out all
the soul of the flowers and give
indescribablefreshness and
brightness to the day, she seems to
overflow with
gladness like the
green world around her. If it is close and hot, and there is thunder
in the air, La Fosseuse feels a vague trouble that nothing can soothe.
She lies on her bed, complains of
numberless different ills, and does
not know what ails her. In answer to my questions, she tells me that
her bones are melting, that she is dissolving into water; her 'heart
has left her,' to quote another of her sayings.
"I have sometimes come upon the poor child suddenly and found her in
tears, as she gazed at the
sunset effects we sometimes see here among
our mountains, when bright masses of cloud gather and crowd together
and pile themselves above the golden peaks of the hills. 'Why are you
crying, little one?' I have asked her. 'I do not know, sir,' has been
the answer; 'I have grown so
stupid with looking up there; I have