'It is for me to speak,' she said, 'and for you to listen. I know;
you can but guess. I prayed, how I prayed for you to leave this
place. I begged it of you, and I know you would have granted me
even this; or if not, O let me think so!'
'I love you,' I said.
'And yet you have lived in the world,' she said; after a pause,
'you are a man and wise; and I am but a child. Forgive me, if I
seem to teach, who am as
ignorant as the trees of the mountain; but
those who learn much do but skim the face of knowledge; they seize
the laws, they
conceive the
dignity of the design - the
horror of
the living fact fades from their memory. It is we who sit at home
with evil who remember, I think, and are warned and pity. Go,
rather, go now, and keep me in mind. So I shall have a life in the
cherished places of your memory: a life as much my own, as that
which I lead in this body.'
'I love you,' I said once more; and reaching out my weak hand, took
hers, and carried it to my lips, and kissed it. Nor did she
resist, but winced a little; and I could see her look upon me with
a frown that was not unkindly, only sad and baffled. And then it
seemed she made a call upon her
resolution; plucked my hand towards
her, herself at the same time leaning somewhat forward, and laid it
on the
beating of her heart. 'There,' she cried, 'you feel the
very footfall of my life. It only moves for you; it is yours. But
is it even mine? It is mine indeed to offer you, as I might take
the coin from my neck, as I might break a live branch from a tree,
and give it you. And yet not mine! I dwell, or I think I dwell
(if I exist at all), somewhere apart, an impotent prisoner, and
carried about and deafened by a mob that I disown. This capsule,
such as throbs against the sides of animals, knows you at a touch
for its master; ay, it loves you! But my soul, does my soul? I
think not; I know not, fearing to ask. Yet when you spoke to me
your words were of the soul; it is of the soul that you ask - it is
only from the soul that you would take me.'
'Olalla,' I said, 'the soul and the body are one, and
mostly so in
love. What the body chooses, the soul loves; where the body
clings, the soul cleaves; body for body, soul to soul, they come
together at God's signal; and the lower part (if we can call aught
low) is only the footstool and
foundation of the highest.'
'Have you,' she said, 'seen the portraits in the house of my
fathers? Have you looked at my mother or at Felipe? Have your
eyes never rested on that picture that hangs by your bed? She who
sat for it died ages ago; and she did evil in her life. But, look-
again: there is my hand to the least line, there are my eyes and my
hair. What is mine, then, and what am I? If not a curve in this
poor body of mine (which you love, and for the sake of which you
dotingly dream that you love me) not a
gesture that I can frame,
not a tone of my voice, not any look from my eyes, no, not even now
when I speak to him I love, but has belonged to others? Others,
ages dead, have wooed other men with my eyes; other men have heard
the pleading of the same voice that now sounds in your ears. The
hands of the dead are in my bosom; they move me, they pluck me,
they guide me; I am a
puppet at their command; and I but reinform
features and attributes that have long been laid aside from evil in
the quiet of the grave. Is it me you love, friend? or the race
that made me? The girl who does not know and cannot answer for the
least
portion of herself? or the
stream of which she is a
transitory eddy, the tree of which she is the passing fruit? The
race exists; it is old, it is ever young, it carries its eternal
destiny in its bosom; upon it, like waves upon the sea, individual
succeeds to individual, mocked with a
semblance of self-control,
but they are nothing. We speak of the soul, but the soul is in the
race.'
'You fret against the common law,' I said. 'You rebel against the
voice of God, which he has made so
winning to
convince, so
imperious to command. Hear it, and how it speaks between us! Your
hand clings to mine, your heart leaps at my touch, the unknown
elements of which we are compounded awake and run together at a
look; the clay of the earth remembers its independent life and