do you think about these vexed questions, dear madam?" Which gives
her a chance to reply with some distinctness, "I shall not know what
I think for several months to come; and at any rate there are
various things more needed on this coach than opinions."
At this the Frenchman murmurs, "Ah, she has right!" and the
Birmingham cutler says, "'Ear! 'ear!"
On another day the
parson began to tell the man with the
evergreenheart some interesting things about America. He had never been
there himself, but he had a cousin who had travelled
extensively in
that country, and had brought back much
unusual information. "The
Americans are an
extraordinary people on the practical side," he
remarked; "but having said that, you have said all, for they are
sordid, and
absolutelydevoid of ideality. Take an American at his
roller-top desk, a telephone at one side and a
typewriter at the
other, talk to him of pork and dollars, and you have him at his very
best. He always keeps on his Panama hat at business, and sits in a
rocking-chair smoking a long cigar. The American woman wears a blue
dress with a red
lining, or a black dress with orange trimmings,
showing a survival of African taste; while another exhibits the
American-Indian type,--sallow, with high cheekbones. The manners of
the servant classes are
extraordinary. I believe they are called
'the help,' and they
commonly sit in the drawing-room after the work
is finished."
"You surprise me!" said Mrs. Shamrock.
"It is indeed amazing," he continued; "and there are other
extraordinary customs, among them the habit of mixing ices with all
beverages. They
plunge ices into mugs of ale, beer, porter,
lemonade, or Apollinaris, and sip the
mixture with a long ladle at
the chemist's
counter, where it is usually served."
"You surprise me!" exclaimed the cutler.
"You surprise me too!" I echoed in my inmost heart. Francesca would
not have confined herself to that
blameless mode of expression, you
may be sure, and I was glad that she was on the back seat of the
car. I did not know it at the time, but Veritas, who is a man of
intelligence, had identified her as an American, and wishing to
inform himself on all possible points, had asked her
frankly why it
was that the people of her nation gave him the
impression of never
being restful or quiet, but always so excessively and abnormally
quick in
motion and speech and thought.
"Casual
impressions are not worth anything," she replied
nonchalantly. "As a nation, you might sometimes give us the
impression of being phlegmatic and slow-witted. Both ideas may have
some basis of fact, yet not be
absolutely true. We are not all
abnormally quick in America. Look at our
messenger boys, for
example."
"We! Phlegmatic and slow-witted!" exclaimed Veritas. "You surprise
me! And why do you not
reward these government
messengers for
speed, and
stimulate them in that way?"
"We do," Francesca answered; "that is the only way in which we ever
get them to arrive anywhere--by
rewarding and stimulating them at
both ends of the journey, and sometimes, in
extreme cases, at a
halfway station."
"This is most interesting," said Veritas, as he took out his damp
notebook; "and perhaps you can tell me why your newspapers are so
poorly edited, so cheap, so sensational?"
"I
confess I can't explain it," she sighed, as if
sorely puzzled.
"Can it be that we have expended our strength on magazines, where
you are so lamentably weak?"
At this moment the rain began as if there had been a long drought
and the sky had just determined to make up the
deficiency. It fell
in sheets, and the wind blew I know not how many Irish miles an
hour. The Frenchman put on a silk macintosh with a cape, and was
berated by everybody in the same seat because he stood up a moment
and let the water in under the lap covers. His
umbrella was a
dainty en-tout-cas with a mother-of-pearl handle, that had answered
well enough in heavy mist or soft drizzle. His hat of fine straw
was tied with a neat cord to his buttonhole; but although that