kindly took me on her left, with a view to better
acquaintance, and
I was
heartily glad of a possible chance to hear something of Dr. La
Touche's earlier life. In our
previous interviews, Salemina's
presence had always precluded the
possibility of leading the
conversation in the wished-for direction.
When I first saw Gerald La Touche I felt that he required
explanation. Usually
speaking, a human being ought to be able, in
an evening's conversation, to explain himself, without any
adventitious aid. If he is a man, alive,
vigorous, well poised,
conscious of his own
individuality, he shows you, without any
effort, as much of his past as you need to form your
impression, and
as much of his future as you have intuition to read. As opposed to
the
vigorouspersonality, there is the
colourless, flavourless,
insubstantial sort, forgotten as soon as
learned, and for ever
confused with that of the
previous or the next comer. When I was a
beginner in portrait-painting, I remember that, after I had
succeeded in making my
background stay back where it belonged, my
figure sometimes had a way of clinging to it in a kind of smudgy
weakness, as if it were afraid to come out like a man and stand the
inspection of my eye. How often have I squandered paint upon the
ungrateful object without adding a cubit to its stature! It refused
to look like flesh and blood, but resembled rather some half-made
creature flung on the
passivecanvas in a
liquid state, with its
edges
running over into the
background. There are a good many of
these people in
literature, too,--heroes who, like home-made paper
dolls, do not stand up well; or if they manage to perform that feat,
one
unexpectedly discovers, when they are placed in a strong light,
that they have no vital organs
whatever, and can be seen through
without the slightest difficulty. Dr. La Touche does not belong to
either of these two classes: he is not warm,
magnetic, powerful,
impressive: neither is he by any means
destitute of vital organs;
but his
personality is blurred in some way. He seems a bit remote,
absentminded, and a
trifle, just a
trifle, over-resigned.
Privately, I think a man can afford to be resigned only to one
thing, and that is the will of God; against all other odds I prefer
to see him fight till the last armed foe expires. Dr. La Touche is
devotedly attached to his children, but quite
helpless in their
hands; so that he never looks at them with pleasure or comfort or
pride, but always with an
anxiety as to what they may do next. I
understand him better now that I know the circumstances of which he
has been the product. (Of course one is always a product of
circumstances, unless one can manage to be superior to them.) His
wife, the daughter of an American
consul in Ireland, was a charming
but somewhat feather-brained person, rather given to whims and
caprices; very pretty, very young, very much spoiled, very
attractive, very un
disciplined. All went well enough with them
until her father was recalled to America, because of some change in
political
administration. The young Mrs. La Touche seemed to have
no resources apart from her family, and even her baby 'Jackeen'
failed to
absorb her as might have been expected.
"We thought her a most
trying woman at this time," said Lady
Killbally. "She seemed to have no thought of her husband's
interests, and none of the responsibilities that she had assumed in
marrying him; her only idea of life appeared to be
amusement and
variety and
gaiety. Gerald was a student, and always very grave and
serious; the kind of man who
invariably marries a
butterfly, if he
can find one to make him
miserable. He was
exceedingly patient; but
after the birth of little Broona, Adeline became so
homesick and
depressed and
discontented that, although the journey was almost an
im
possibility at the time, Gerald took her back to her people, and
left her with them, while he returned to his duties at Trinity
College. Their life, I suppose, had been very
unhappy for a year or
two before this, and when he came home to Dublin without his
children, he looked a sad and broken man. He was absolutely
faithful to his ideals, I am glad to say, and never wavered in his
allegiance to his wife, however disappointed he may have been in
her; going over
regularly to spend his long vacations in America,
although she never seemed to wish to see him. At last she fell into
a state of
hopeless melancholia; and it was rather a
relief to us
all to feel that we had judged her too
severely, and that her
unreasonableness and her
extraordinary caprices had been born of
mental
disorder more than of moral obliquity. Gerald gave up
everything to nurse her and rouse her from her
apathy; but she faded
away without ever once coming back to a more
normal self, and that
was the end of it all. Gerald's father had died
meanwhile, and he
had fallen heir to the property and the estates. They were very
much encumbered, but he is gradually getting affairs into a less
chaotic state; and while his fortune would seem a small one to you
extravagant Americans, he is what we Irish paupers would call well
to do."
Lady Killbally was suspiciously
willing to give me all this
information,--so much so that I ventured to ask about the children.
"They are captivating, neglected little things," she said. "Madame
La Touche, an aged aunt, has the ostensible
charge of them, and she
is a most easy-going person. The servants are of the 'old family'
sort, the
reckless, improvident, untidy,
devoted, quarrelsome
creatures that always stand by the ruined Irish
gentry in all their
misfortunes, and generally make their life a burden to them at the
same time. Gerald is a saint, and
therefore never complains."
"It never seems to me that saints are
altogether adapted to
positions like these," I sighed; "sinners would do ever so much
better. I should like to see Dr. La Touche take off his halo, lay
it carefully on the
bureau, and wield a battle-axe. The world will
never
acknowledge his merit; it will even forget him
presently, and
his life will have been given up to the
evolution of the
passivevirtues. Do you suppose he will recognise the tender
passion if it
ever does bud in his breast, or will he think it a weed, instead of
a flower, and let it
wither for want of attention?"
"I think his friends will have to
enhance his self-respect, or he
will for ever be too
modest to declare himself," said Lady
Killbally. "Perhaps you can help us: he is probably going to
America this winter to lecture at some of your universities, and he
may stay there for a year or two, so he says. At any rate, if the
right woman ever appears on the scene, I hope she will have the
instinct to admire and love and
reverence him as we do," and here
she smiled directly into my eyes, and slipping her pretty hand under
the tablecloth squeezed mine in a manner that spoke volumes.
It is not easy to explain one's desire to marry off all the
unmarried persons in one's
vicinity. When I look steadfastly at any
group of people, large or small, they usually segregate themselves
into twos under my
prophetic eye. It they are nice and attractive,
I am pleased to see them mated; if they are
horrid and disagreeable,
I like to think of them as improving under the
discipline of
matrimony. It is joy to see beauty meet a kindling eye, but I am
more
delighted still to watch a man fall under the glamour of a
plain, dull girl, and it is
ecstasy for me to see a
perfectlyunattractive,
stupid woman snapped up at last, when I have given up
hopes of settling her in life. Sometimes there are men so
uninspiring that I cannot
converse with them a single moment without
yawning; but though failures in all other relations, one can
conceive of their being tolerably useful as husbands and fathers;
not for one's self, you understand, but for one's neighbours.
Dr. La Touche's life now, to any understanding eye, is as incomplete
as the
unfinished window in Aladdin's tower. He is too wrinkled,
too studious, too quiet, too patient for his years. His children
need a mother, his old family servants need
discipline, his baronial
halls need
sweeping and cleaning (I haven't seen them, but I know
they do!), and his aged aunt needs advice and
guidance. On the
other hand, there are those (I speak guardedly) who have walked in
shady, sequestered paths all their lives, looking at hundreds of
happy lovers on the sunny highroad, but never joining them; those
who adore erudition, who love children, who have a
genius for
unselfish
devotion, who are sweet and
refined and clever, and who
look
perfectly lovely when they put on grey satin and leave off
eyeglasses. They say they are over forty, and although this
probably is
exaggeration, they may be thirty-nine and three-
quarters; and if so, the time is
limited in which to find for them a