her husband faced her again, with his hand on the door-handle, she
asked herself whether he was unpardonably
stupid, or simply ignoble.
She said
nervously, and very fast:
"You are deceiving yourself. You never loved me. You wanted a
wife--some woman--any woman that would think, speak, and
behave in a
certain way--in a way you approved. You loved yourself."
"You won't believe me?" he asked, slowly.
"If I had believed you loved me," she began,
passionately, then drew
in a long
breath; and during that pause he heard the steady beat of
blood in his ears. "If I had believed it . . . I would never have come
back," she finished, recklessly.
He stood looking down as though he had not heard. She waited. After a
moment he opened the door, and, on the
landing, the sightless woman of
marble appeared, draped to the chin, thrusting
blindly at them a
cluster of lights.
He seemed to have forgotten himself in a
meditation so deep that on
the point of going out she stopped to look at him in surprise. While
she had been
speaking he had wandered on the track of the enigma, out
of the world of senses into the region of feeling. What did it matter
what she had done, what she had said, if through the pain of her acts
and words he had obtained the word of the enigma! There can be no life
without faith and love--faith in a human heart, love of a human being!
That touch of grace, whose help once in life is the
privilege of the
most undeserving, flung open for him the portals of beyond, and in
contemplating there the certitude immaterial and precious he forgot
all the meaningless accidents of
existence: the bliss of getting, the
delight of enjoying; all the protean and enticing forms of the
cupidity that rules a material world of foolish joys, of
contemptible
sorrows. Faith!--Love!--the undoubting, clear faith in the truth of a
soul--the great
tenderness, deep as the ocean,
serene and
eternal,
like the
infinite peace of space above the short tempests of the
earth. It was what he had wanted all his life--but he understood it
only then for the first time. It was through the pain of losing her
that the knowledge had come. She had the gift! She had the gift! And
in all the world she was the only human being that could
surrender it
to his
immense desire. He made a step forward, putting his arms out,
as if to take her to his breast, and, lifting his head, was met by
such a look of blank
consternation that his arms fell as though they
had been struck down by a blow. She started away from him, stumbled
over the
threshold, and once on the
landing turned, swift and
crouching. The train of her gown swished as it flew round her feet. It
was an undisguised panic. She panted, showing her teeth, and the
hate of strength, the
disdain of
weakness, the
eternal preoccupation
of sex came out like a toy demon out of a box.
"This is odious," she screamed.
He did not stir; but her look, her agitated movements, the sound of
her voice were like a mist of facts thickening between him and the
vision of love and faith. It vanished; and looking at that face
triumphant and
scornful, at that white face, stealthy and unexpected,
as if discovered staring from an
ambush, he was coming back slowly to
the world of senses. His first clear thought was: I am married to that
woman; and the next: she will give nothing but what I see. He felt the
need not to see. But the memory of the
vision, the memory that abides
forever within the seer made him say to her with the naive austerity
of a
convert awed by the touch of a new creed, "You haven't the gift."
He turned his back on her, leaving her completely mystified. And she
went
upstairs slowly, struggling with a
distastefulsuspicion of
having been confronted by something more subtle than herself--more
profound than the misunderstood and
tragiccontest of her feelings.
He shut the door of the drawing-room and moved at
hazard, alone
amongst the heavy shadows and in the fiery
twilight as of an elegant
place of perdition. She hadn't the gift--no one had. . . . He stepped
on a book that had fallen off one of the
crowded little tables. He
- virtue [´və:tʃu:] n.美德;贞操;长处 (初中英语单词)
- poison [´pɔizən] n.毒物 v.毒害 a.有毒的 (初中英语单词)
- swallow [swɔləu] n.燕子 v.吞,咽;淹没 (初中英语单词)
- steadily [´stedili] ad.坚定地;不断地 (初中英语单词)
- furnace [´fə:nis] n.熔炉;火炉 (初中英语单词)
- excess [´ekses] n.超过 a.过分的 (初中英语单词)
- sunshine [´sʌnʃain] n.日光,阳光 (初中英语单词)
- distinguish [di´stiŋgwiʃ] v.区分;识别;立功 (初中英语单词)
- carpet [´kɑ:pit] n.地毯 vt.铺地毯 (初中英语单词)
- wooden [´wudn] a.木制的;呆板的 (初中英语单词)
- hostile [´hɔstail] a.敌方的,敌意的 (初中英语单词)
- existence [ig´zistəns] n.存在;生存;生活 (初中英语单词)
- relief [ri´li:f] n.救济;援救;减轻 (初中英语单词)
- victim [´viktim] n.牺牲者;受害者 (初中英语单词)
- account [ə´kaunt] vi.说明 vt.认为 n.帐目 (初中英语单词)
- twilight [´twailait] n.黎明;黄昏 (初中英语单词)
- delicate [´delikət] a.精美的;微妙的 (初中英语单词)
- contest [kən´test, ´kɔntest] v.争辩 n.争夺;竞赛 (初中英语单词)
- mysterious [mi´stiəriəs] a.神秘的;难以理解的 (初中英语单词)
- eternal [i´tə:nəl] a.永远的;永恒的 (初中英语单词)
- origin [´ɔridʒin] n.起源;由来;出身 (初中英语单词)
- faculty [´fækəlti] n.才干;天赋;院,系 (初中英语单词)
- vision [´viʒən] n.视觉;想象力;幻影 (初中英语单词)
- gesture [´dʒestʃə] n.手势 v.打手势 (初中英语单词)
- passion [´pæʃən] n.激情;激怒;恋爱 (初中英语单词)
- uncertain [ʌn´sə:tn] a.不定的;不可靠的 (初中英语单词)
- belief [bi´li:f] n.相信;信仰,信条 (初中英语单词)
- conviction [kən´vikʃən] n.定罪;确信,信服 (初中英语单词)
- surrender [sə´rendə] vt.&n.交出;引渡;放弃 (初中英语单词)
- instinct [´instiŋkt] n.本能;直觉;天资 (初中英语单词)
- obvious [´ɔbviəs] a.明显的;显而易见的 (初中英语单词)
- spiritual [´spiritʃuəl] a.精神(上)的;神圣的 (初中英语单词)
- stupid [´stju:pid] a.愚蠢的;糊涂的 (初中英语单词)
- behave [bi´heiv] v.举止;表现;举止端正 (初中英语单词)
- breath [breθ] n.呼吸;气息 (初中英语单词)
- privilege [´privilidʒ] n.特权 vt.给….特权 (初中英语单词)
- immense [i´mens] a.广大的,无限的 (初中英语单词)
- weakness [´wi:knis] n.虚弱;弱点,缺点 (初中英语单词)
- convert [kən´və:t, ´kɔnvə:t] v.转变 n.改变信仰者 (初中英语单词)
- suspicion [sə´spiʃən] n.怀(猜)疑;嫌疑 (初中英语单词)
- positive [´pɔzətiv] a.确定的 (高中英语单词)
- manhood [´mænhud] n.人格;男子气概 (高中英语单词)
- mortal [´mɔ:tl] a.致命的 n.凡人 (高中英语单词)
- loneliness [´ləunliniz] n.孤独,寂寞 (高中英语单词)
- solitary [´sɔlitəri] a.独居的;孤独的 (高中英语单词)
- butler [´bʌtlə] n.(男)管家 (高中英语单词)
- violently [´vaiələntli] ad.强暴地;猛烈地 (高中英语单词)
- crimson [´krimzən] a.&n.深(紫)红(的) (高中英语单词)
- profound [prə´faund] a.深奥的;渊博的 (高中英语单词)
- stillness [´stilnis] n.不动;无声,寂静 (高中英语单词)
- breathless [´breθlis] a.屏息的 (高中英语单词)
- solitude [´sɔlitju:d] n.孤独;寂寞;荒凉 (高中英语单词)
- suicide [´su:isaid, ´sju:-] n.&a.自杀(者)(的) (高中英语单词)
- contempt [kən´tempt] n.轻蔑;受辱;不顾 (高中英语单词)
- repeated [ri´pi:tid] a.反复的;重复的 (高中英语单词)
- reproach [ri´prəutʃ] vt.&n.责备;指责;耻辱 (高中英语单词)
- indispensable [,indi´spensəbəl] a.绝对必要的 (高中英语单词)
- resentment [ri´zentmənt] n.不满;怨恨;忿恨 (高中英语单词)
- tragic [´trædʒik] a.悲剧的;悲惨的 (高中英语单词)
- strife [straif] n.竞争;吵架;冲突 (高中英语单词)
- tenderness [´tendənis] n.娇嫩;柔软;温柔 (高中英语单词)
- serene [si´ri:n] n.&a.清澈的;宁静的 (高中英语单词)
- infinite [´infinit] a.无限的,无穷的 (高中英语单词)
- threshold [´θreʃhəuld] n.门槛;入门;开端 (高中英语单词)
- disdain [dis´dein] vt.&n.藐视,轻视 (高中英语单词)
- hazard [´hæzəd] n.危险 vt.冒…险 (高中英语单词)
- crowded [´kraudid] a.充(拥)满了的 (高中英语单词)
- contagious [kən´teidʒəs] a.传染性的,有感染力 (英语四级单词)
- precise [pri´sais] a.精确的;清楚的 (英语四级单词)
- unnatural [,ʌn´nætʃərəl] a.不自然的 (英语四级单词)
- refinement [ri´fainmənt] n.精炼;精制;文雅 (英语四级单词)
- experienced [ik´spiəriənst] a.有经验的;熟练的 (英语四级单词)
- adventurer [əd´ventʃərə] n.冒险者 (英语四级单词)
- upstairs [,ʌp´steəz] ad.在楼上 a.楼上的 (英语四级单词)
- vertical [´və:tikəl] a.垂直的 n.垂直线 (英语四级单词)
- refined [ri´faind] a.精制的;文雅的 (英语四级单词)
- infinitely [´infinitli] ad.无限地;无穷地 (英语四级单词)
- creator [kri:´eitə] n.创造者;设立者 (英语四级单词)
- insignificant [,insig´nifikənt] a.无意义的;无价值的 (英语四级单词)
- sinister [´sinistə] a.阴险的;不吉的 (英语四级单词)
- unjust [ʌn´dʒʌst] a.不公平(正)的 (英语四级单词)
- sincerity [sin´seriti] n.真诚;诚意 (英语四级单词)
- fascination [,fæsi´neiʃən] n.魅力;强烈爱好 (英语四级单词)
- instinctively [in´stiŋktivli] ad.本能地 (英语四级单词)
- feminine [´feminin] a.女性的 (英语四级单词)
- abominable [ə´bɔminəbəl] a.可憎的;极坏的 (英语四级单词)
- nervously [´nə:vəsli] ad.神经质地;胆怯地 (英语四级单词)
- passionately [´pæʃənitli] ad.多情地;热烈地 (英语四级单词)
- blindly [blaindli] ad.盲目地;没头脑地 (英语四级单词)
- meditation [,medi´teiʃən] n.熟虑;默想 (英语四级单词)
- ambush [´æmbuʃ] n.埋伏(地点);伏兵 (英语四级单词)
- illumination [i,lju:mi´neiʃən] n.照明;阐明 (英语六级单词)
- affected [ə´fektid] a.做作的;假装的 (英语六级单词)
- unprofitable [ʌn´prɔfitəbl] a.没有利润的;无益的 (英语六级单词)
- taking [´teikiŋ] a.迷人的 n.捕获物 (英语六级单词)
- infernal [in´fə:nəl] a.地狱的,恶魔似的 (英语六级单词)
- doggedly [´dɔgidli] ad.顽强地,固执地 (英语六级单词)
- subtlety [´sʌtlti] n.敏锐;巧妙;微妙 (英语六级单词)
- abandoned [ə´bændənd] a.被抛弃的;无约束的 (英语六级单词)
- bewilderment [bi´wildəmənt] n.为难;狼狈;迷惑 (英语六级单词)
- phantom [´fæntəm] n.幽灵;幻影 a.幻想的 (英语六级单词)
- landing [´lændiŋ] n.登陆;降落;楼梯平台 (英语六级单词)
- speaking [´spi:kiŋ] n.说话 a.发言的 (英语六级单词)
- consternation [,kɔnstə´neiʃən] n.惊愕;惊恐;惊慌失措 (英语六级单词)
- scornful [´skɔ:nful] a.轻蔑的,藐视的 (英语六级单词)
- distasteful [dis´teistful] a.讨厌的;乏味的 (英语六级单词)