This fit of hot anger was succeeded by a sudden
sadness, by the
darkening passage of a thought that ran over the scorched surface of
his heart, like upon a
barren plain, and after a
fiercer
assault of
sunrays, the
melancholy and cooling shadow of a cloud. He realized
that he had had a shock--not a
violent or rending blow, that can be
seen, resisted, returned, forgotten, but a
thrust, insidious and
penetrating, that had stirred all those feelings, concealed and cruel,
which the arts of the devil, the fears of mankind--God's infinite
com
passion, perhaps--keep chained deep down in the inscrutable
twilight of our breasts. A dark curtain seemed to rise before him, and
for less than a second he looked upon the
mysteriousuniverse of moral
suffering. As a
landscape is seen complete, and vast, and vivid, under
a flash of
lightning, so he could see disclosed in a moment all the
immensity of pain that can be contained in one short moment of human
thought. Then the curtain fell again, but his rapid
vision left in
Alvan Hervey's mind a trail of invincible
sadness, a sense of loss and
bitter
solitude, as though he had been robbed and exiled. For a moment
he ceased to be a member of society with a position, a
career, and a
name attached to all this, like a descriptive label of some
complicated
compound. He was a simple human being removed from the
delightful world of crescents and squares. He stood alone, naked and
afraid, like the first man on the first day of evil. There are in life
events, contacts, glimpses, that seem brutally to bring all the past
to a close. There is a shock and a crash, as of a gate flung to behind
one by the perfidious hand of fate. Go and seek another
paradise, fool
or sage. There is a moment of dumb
dismay, and the wanderings must
begin again; the
painful explaining away of facts, the
feverish raking
up of illusions, the
cultivation of a fresh crop of lies in the sweat
of one's brow, to
sustain life, to make it supportable, to make it
fair, so as to hand
intact to another
generation of blind wanderers
the
charming legend of a heartless country, of a promised land, all
flowers and blessings . . .
He came to himself with a slight start, and became aware of an
oppressive, crushing
desolation. It was only a feeling, it is true,
but it produced on him a
physical effect, as though his chest had been
squeezed in a vice. He perceived himself so
extremelyforlorn and
lamentable, and was moved so deeply by the
oppressive sorrow, that
another turn of the screw, he felt, would bring tears out of his eyes.
He was deteriorating. Five years of life in common had appeased his
longing. Yes, long-time ago. The first five months did that--but . . .
There was the habit--the habit of her person, of her smile, of her
gestures, of her voice, of her silence. She had a pure brow and good
hair. How utterly
wretched all this was. Good hair and fine
eyes--remarkably fine. He was surprised by the number of details that
intruded upon his
unwilling memory. He could not help remembering her
footsteps, the
rustle of her dress, her way of
holding her head, her
decisive manner of
saying "Alvan," the
quiver of her nostrils when she
was annoyed. All that had been so much his property, so
intimately and
specially his! He raged in a
mournful, silent way, as he took stock of
his losses. He was like a man counting the cost of an unlucky
speculation--irritated, depressed--exasperated with himself and with
others, with the
fortunate, with the
indifferent, with the callous;
yet the wrong done him appeared so cruel that he would perhaps have
dropped a tear over that spoliation if it had not been for his
conviction that men do not weep. Foreigners do; they also kill
- altogether [,ɔ:ltə´geðə] ad.完全;总而言之 (初中英语单词)
- hidden [´hid(ə)n] hide 的过去分词 (初中英语单词)
- mental [´mentl] a.精神的;心理的 (初中英语单词)
- fundamental [,fʌndə´mentl] a.基本的 n.原理 (初中英语单词)
- mistress [´mistris] n.女主人;情妇;女能手 (初中英语单词)
- distinct [di´stiŋkt] a.清楚的;独特的 (初中英语单词)
- failure [´feiljə] n.失败;衰竭;破产 (初中英语单词)
- driven [´driv(ə)n] drive 的过去分词 (初中英语单词)
- thrill [θril] v.震惊;激动;刺激 (初中英语单词)
- disguise [dis´gaiz] vt.假装;隐瞒 n.伪装 (初中英语单词)
- obvious [´ɔbviəs] a.明显的;显而易见的 (初中英语单词)
- healthy [´helθi] a.健康的 (初中英语单词)
- existence [ig´zistəns] n.存在;生存;生活 (初中英语单词)
- sleeve [sli:v] n.袖子;袖套 (初中英语单词)
- despair [di´speə] vi.&n.绝望 (初中英语单词)
- monster [´mɔnstə] n.怪物 a.大得异常的 (初中英语单词)
- standing [´stændiŋ] n.持续 a.直立的 (初中英语单词)
- severe [si´viə] a.严厉的;苛刻的 (初中英语单词)
- carpet [´kɑ:pit] n.地毯 vt.铺地毯 (初中英语单词)
- endeavour [in´devə] n.&v.努力,试图,尽力 (初中英语单词)
- horror [´hɔrə] n.恐怖;战栗 (初中英语单词)
- vision [´viʒən] n.视觉;想象力;幻影 (初中英语单词)
- fierce [fiəs] a.残忍的;强烈的 (初中英语单词)
- breath [breθ] n.呼吸;气息 (初中英语单词)
- mysterious [mi´stiəriəs] a.神秘的;难以理解的 (初中英语单词)
- account [ə´kaunt] vi.说明 vt.认为 n.帐目 (初中英语单词)
- suffering [´sʌfəriŋ] n.痛苦;灾害 (初中英语单词)
- passion [´pæʃən] n.激情;激怒;恋爱 (初中英语单词)
- suspicion [sə´spiʃən] n.怀(猜)疑;嫌疑 (初中英语单词)
- gesture [´dʒestʃə] n.手势 v.打手势 (初中英语单词)
- weapon [´wepən] n.武器;斗争手段 (初中英语单词)
- counsel [´kaunsəl] n.商议;劝告;律师 (初中英语单词)
- unable [ʌn´eibəl] a.不能的;无能为力的 (初中英语单词)
- distinguish [di´stiŋgwiʃ] v.区分;识别;立功 (初中英语单词)
- resolve [ri´zɔlv] v.决心 n.决心;刚毅 (初中英语单词)
- reflection [ri´flekʃən] n.反射;映象;想法 (初中英语单词)
- consideration [kən,sidə´reiʃən] n.考虑;原因;体谅 (初中英语单词)
- impulse [´impʌls] n.推动(力);冲动;刺激 (初中英语单词)
- aspect [´æspekt] n.面貌;神色;方向 (初中英语单词)
- domestic [də´mestik] a.家庭的;本国的 (初中英语单词)
- belief [bi´li:f] n.相信;信仰,信条 (初中英语单词)
- divorce [di´vɔ:s] n.离婚 vt.同….离婚 (初中英语单词)
- refuge [´refju:dʒ] v.&n.避难(所);庇护 (初中英语单词)
- evidently [´evidəntli] ad.明显地 (初中英语单词)
- advantage [əd´vɑ:ntidʒ] n.优势;利益 (初中英语单词)
- barren [´bærən] a.贫瘠的;不生育的 (初中英语单词)
- assault [ə´sɔ:lt] vt.袭击;殴打 n.攻击 (初中英语单词)
- violent [´vaiələnt] a.强暴的;猛烈的 (初中英语单词)
- thrust [θrʌst] v.&n.猛推;冲;刺;挤进 (初中英语单词)
- lightning [´laitniŋ] n.闪电 a.突然的 (初中英语单词)
- career [kə´riə] n.经历;生涯;职业 (初中英语单词)
- compound [kəm´paund] n.&a.混合(的) v.合成 (初中英语单词)
- paradise [´pærədais] n.天堂;乐园 (初中英语单词)
- dismay [dis´mei] n.惊慌 vt.使惊慌 (初中英语单词)
- sustain [sə´stein] vt.支撑;蒙受;确认 (初中英语单词)
- generation [,dʒenə´reiʃən] n.发生;世代;同龄人 (初中英语单词)
- charming [´tʃɑ:miŋ] a.可爱的;极好的 (初中英语单词)
- physical [´fizikəl] a.物质的;有形的 (初中英语单词)
- extremely [ik´stri:mli] ad.极端地;非常地 (初中英语单词)
- wretched [´retʃid] a.可怜的;倒霉的 (初中英语单词)
- rustle [´rʌsl] v.&n.(使)沙沙作响 (初中英语单词)
- quiver [´kwivə] v.抖动 n.颤动(声) (初中英语单词)
- fortunate [´fɔ:tʃənət] a.幸运的,侥幸的 (初中英语单词)
- dignified [´dignifaid] a.尊贵的 (高中英语单词)
- undertaking [,ʌndə´teikiŋ] n.任务;事业;计划 (高中英语单词)
- leisure [´leʒə] n.空闲;悠闲;安定 (高中英语单词)
- horrid [´hɔrid] a.令人讨厌的;极糟的 (高中英语单词)
- perfectly [´pə:fiktli] ad.理想地;完美地 (高中英语单词)
- eternity [i´tə:niti] n.永恒,来世,无穷 (高中英语单词)
- corrupt [kə´rʌpt] a.腐败的 v.败坏;贿赂 (高中英语单词)
- sweetness [´swi:tnis] n.甜蜜;芳香;亲切 (高中英语单词)
- startling [´stɑ:tliŋ] a.惊人的 (高中英语单词)
- tempest [´tempist] n.暴风雨 (高中英语单词)
- anguish [´æŋgwiʃ] n.(极度的)痛苦;苦恼 (高中英语单词)
- profound [prə´faund] a.深奥的;渊博的 (高中英语单词)
- forlorn [fə´lɔ:n] a.被遗弃的;绝望的 (高中英语单词)
- reproach [ri´prəutʃ] vt.&n.责备;指责;耻辱 (高中英语单词)
- vainly [´veinli] ad.虚荣地;自负地 (高中英语单词)
- novelty [´nɔvəlti] n.新奇(的事物) (高中英语单词)
- decent [´di:sənt] a.体面的,正派的 (高中英语单词)
- invariably [in´veəriəbli] ad.不变地;永恒地 (高中英语单词)
- dismal [´dizməl] a.灰暗的;阴郁的 (高中英语单词)
- hearing [´hiəriŋ] n.听力;听证会;审讯 (高中英语单词)
- handful [hændful] n.一把,少数,一小撮 (高中英语单词)
- sadness [´sædnis] n.悲哀;悲痛;凄惨 (高中英语单词)
- melancholy [´melənkəli] n.忧郁 a.忧郁的 (高中英语单词)
- universe [´ju:nivə:s] n.天地;全人类;银河系 (高中英语单词)
- landscape [´lændskeip] n.风景;景色;风景画 (高中英语单词)
- solitude [´sɔlitju:d] n.孤独;寂寞;荒凉 (高中英语单词)
- painful [´peinfəl] a.痛(苦)的;费力的 (高中英语单词)
- cultivation [,kʌlti´veiʃən] n.耕作;培养 (高中英语单词)
- saying [´seiŋ, ´sei-iŋ] n.言语;言论;格言 (高中英语单词)
- indifferent [in´difrənt] a.不关心的;中立的 (高中英语单词)
- bitten [´bitn] bite的过去分词 (英语四级单词)
- congratulation [kən,grætju´leiʃən] n.祝贺;贺词 (英语四级单词)
- intolerable [in´tɔlərəb(ə)l] a.无法忍受的 (英语四级单词)
- unjust [ʌn´dʒʌst] a.不公平(正)的 (英语四级单词)
- contemplation [,kɔntem´pleiʃən] n.注视;冥想;打算 (英语四级单词)
- resolute [´rezəlu:t] a.坚决的;不屈不挠的 (英语四级单词)
- poisonous [´pɔizənəs] a.有毒的;讨厌的 (英语四级单词)
- hurricane [´hʌrikən] n.飓风 (英语四级单词)
- forgiven [fə´givn] forgive的过去分词 (英语四级单词)
- placid [´plæsid] a.平静的;温和的 (英语四级单词)
- adversary [´ædvəsəri] n.敌手,对手 (英语四级单词)
- fidelity [fi´deliti] n.忠实;精确;保真度 (英语四级单词)
- instinctively [in´stiŋktivli] ad.本能地 (英语四级单词)
- abominable [ə´bɔminəbəl] a.可憎的;极坏的 (英语四级单词)
- shameful [´ʃeimfəl] a.可耻的;猥亵的 (英语四级单词)
- filthy [´filθi] a.污秽的,肮脏的 (英语四级单词)
- sinister [´sinistə] a.阴险的;不吉的 (英语四级单词)
- adverse [´ædvə:s] a.不利的;反对的 (英语四级单词)
- writhe [raið] v.扭曲,扭歪 (英语四级单词)
- morality [mə´ræliti] n.道德;教训;伦理学 (英语四级单词)
- allude [ə´lu:d] vi.暗指;侧面提到 (英语四级单词)
- feverish [´fi:vəriʃ] a.发烧的;狂热的 (英语四级单词)
- desolation [desə´leiʃ(ə)n] n.荒凉 (英语四级单词)
- unwilling [ʌn´wiliŋ] a.不愿意的;不情愿的 (英语四级单词)
- mournful [´mɔ:nful] a.令人沮丧的 (英语四级单词)
- humiliation [hju:,mili´eiʃən] n.羞辱,屈辱 (英语六级单词)
- exultation [egzʌl´teiʃən] n.欢腾,狂欢 (英语六级单词)
- fortitude [´fɔ:titju:d] n.坚忍;刚毅 (英语六级单词)
- beating [´bi:tiŋ] n.敲;搅打;失败 (英语六级单词)
- loathsome [´ləuðsəm] a.讨厌的,令人作呕的 (英语六级单词)
- unclean [ʌn´kli:n] a.不清洁的;讨厌的 (英语六级单词)
- condemnation [,kɔndem´neiʃən] n.谴责;定罪;征用 (英语六级单词)
- concealment [kən´si:lmənt] n.隐藏,隐瞒 (英语六级单词)
- mistrust [mis´trʌst] v.&n.不信任;怀疑 (英语六级单词)
- intact [in´tækt] a.未动过的,完整的 (英语六级单词)
- oppressive [ə´presiv] a.压制的;沉重的 (英语六级单词)
- holding [´həuldiŋ] n.保持,固定,存储 (英语六级单词)
- intimately [´intimitli] ad.密切地;熟悉地 (英语六级单词)