it is with you every time I look at you.'
How he pressed her to his heart again with almost a spasmodic
pressure! How he kissed her as the tears fell like rain from
his old eyes! How he
blessed her, and called her by a hundred
soft sweet names which now came new to his lips! How he chid
himself for ever having been
unhappy with such a treasure in his
house, such a jewel on his bosom, with so sweet a flower in
the choice garden of his heart! And then the floodgates of
his tongue were loosed, and, at length, with unsparing detail
of circumstances, he told her all that he wished, and all that
he could not do. He
repeated those arguments of the archdeacon,
not agreeing in their truth, but explaining his
inability to
escape from them--how it had been declared to him that he
was bound to remain where he was by the interests of his order,
by
gratitude to the
bishop, by the wishes of his friends, by
a sense of duty, which, though he could not understand it,
he was fain to
acknowledge. He told her how he had been accused
of
cowardice, and though he was not a man to make much of such
a
charge before the world, now in the full
candour of his heart
he explained to her that such an
accusation was
grievous to
him; that he did think it would be unmanly to desert his post,
merely to escape his present sufferings, and that,
therefore, he
must bear as best he might the
misery which was prepared for him.
And did she find these details
tedious? Oh, no; she
encouraged him to
dilate on every feeling he expressed, till he
laid bare the inmost corners of his heart to her. They spoke
together of the archdeacon, as two children might of a stern,
unpopular, but still respected
schoolmaster, and of the
bishopas a parent kind as kind could be, but
powerless against an
omnipotent pedagogue.
And then when they had discussed all this, when the father
had told all to the child, she could not be less confiding than
he had been; and as John Bold's name was mentioned between
them, she owned how well she had
learned to love him--'had
loved him once,' she said, 'but she would not, could not
do so now--no, even had her troth been plighted to him,
she would have taken it back again--had she sworn to love
him as his wife, she would have discarded him, and not felt
herself forsworn, when he proved himself the enemy of her
father.'
But the
warden declared that Bold was no enemy of his, and
encouraged her love; and
gently rebuked, as he kissed her,
the stern
resolve she had made to cast him off; and then he
spoke to her of happier days when their trials would all be
over; and declared that her young heart should not be torn
asunder to please either
priest or prelate, dean or archdeacon.
No, not if all Oxford were to convocate together, and agree
as to the necessity of the sacrifice.
And so they greatly comforted each other--and in what
sorrow will not such
mutual confidence give consolation!--
and with a last expression of tender love they parted, and went
comparatively happy to their rooms.
CHAPTER XI
Iphigenia
When Eleanor laid her head on her pillow that night,
her mind was
anxiouslyintent on some plan by which
she might extricate her father from his
misery; and, in her
warm-hearted
enthusiasm, self-sacrifice was
decided on as the
means to be adopted. Was not so good an Agamemnon
worthy of an Iphigenia? She would herself
personally implore
John Bold to desist from his
undertaking; she would explain
to him her father's sorrows, the cruel
misery of his position;
she would tell him how her father would die if he were thus
dragged before the public and exposed to such unmerited
ignominy; she would
appeal to his old friendship, to his
generosity, to his manliness, to his mercy; if need were, she
would kneel to him for the favour she would ask; but before
she did this the idea of love must be
banished. There must
be no
bargain in the matter. To his mercy, to his generosity,
she could
appeal; but as a pure
maiden,
hitherto even
unsolicited, she could not
appeal to his love, nor under such
circumstances could she allow him to do so. Of course, when
so provoked he would declare his
passion; that was to be
expected; there had been enough between them to make such