章节正文
teachers and monks of the lesser and stricter orders who approvedthe killing of helpless, erring youths. And I took note of all
that is done by men who profess Christianity, and I was horrified. XVI
And I ceased to doubt, and became fully convinced that not allwas true in the religion I had joined. Formerly I should have said
that it was all false, but I could not say so now. The whole ofthe people possessed a knowledge of the truth, for otherwise they
could not have lived. Moreover, that knowledge was accessible tome, for I had felt it and had lived by it. But I no longer doubted
that there was also falsehood in it. And all that had previouslyrepelled me now presented itself vividly before me. And though I
saw that among the peasants there was a smaller admixture of thelies that repelled me than among the representatives of the
Church, I still saw that in the people's belief also falsehood wasmingled with the truth.
But where did the truth and where did the falsehood come from? Both the falsehood and the truth were contained in the so-called
holy tradition and in the Scriptures. Both the falsehood and thetruth had been handed down by what is called the Church.
And whether I liked or not, I was brought to the study andinvestigation of these writings and traditions -- which till now I
had been so afraid to investigate. And I turned to the examination of that same theology which I
had once rejected with such contempt as unnecessary. Formerly itseemed to me a series of unnecessary absurdities, when on all sides
I was surrounded by manifestations of life which seemed to me clearand full of sense; now I should have been glad to throw away what
would not enter a health head, but I had nowhere to turn to. Onthis teaching religious doctrine rests, or at least with it the
only knowledge of the meaning of life that I have found isinseparably connected. However wild it may seem too my firm old
mind, it was the only hope of salvation. It had to be carefully,attentively examined in order to understand it, and not even to
understand it as I understand the propositions of science: I donot seek that, nor can I seek it, knowing the special character of
religious knowledge. I shall not seek the explanation ofeverything. I know that the explanation of everything, like the
commencement of everything, must be concealed in infinity. But Iwish to understand in a way which will bring me to what is
inevitably inexplicable. I wish to recognize anything that isinexplicable as being so not because the demands of my reason are
wrong (they are right, and apart from them I can understandnothing), but because I recognize the limits of my intellect. I
wish to understand in such a way that everything that isinexplicable shall present itself to me as being necessarily
inexplicable, and not as being something I am under an arbitraryobligation to believe.
That there is truth in the teaching is to me indubitable, butit is also certain that there is falsehood in it, and I must find
what is true and what is false, and must disentangle the one fromthe other. I am setting to work upon this task. What of falsehood
I have found in the teaching and what I have found of truth, and towhat conclusions I came, will form the following parts of this
work, which if it be worth it and if anyone wants it, will probablysome day be printed somewhere.
1879. The foregoing was written by me some three years ago, and will
be printed. Now a few days ago, when revising it and returning to the line
of thought and to the feelings I had when I was living through itall, I had a dream. This dream expressed in condensed form all
that I had experienced and described, and I think therefore that,for those who have understood me, a description of this dream will
refresh and elucidate and unify what has been set forth at suchlength in the foregoing pages. The dream was this:
I saw that I was lying on a bed. I was neither comfortablenor uncomfortable: I was lying on my back. But I began to consider
how, and on what, I was lying -- a question which had not till thenoccurred to me. And observing my bed, I saw I was lying on plaited
string supports attached to its sides: my feet were resting on onesuch support, by calves on another, and my legs felt uncomfortable.
I seemed to know that those supports were movable, and with amovement of my foot I pushed away the furthest of them at my feet -
- it seemed to me that it would be more comfortable so. But Ipushed it away too far and wished to reach it again with my foot,
and that movement caused the next support under my calves to slipaway also, so that my legs hung in the air. I made a movement with
my whole body to adjust myself, fully convinced that I could do soat once; but the movement caused the other supports under me to
slip and to become entangled, and I saw that matters were goingquite wrong: the whole of the lower part of my body slipped and
hung down, though my feet did not reach the ground. I was holdingon only by the upper part of my back, and not only did it become
uncomfortable but I was even frightened. And then only did I askmyself about something that had not before occurred to me. I asked
myself: Where am I and what am I lying on? and I began to lookaround and first of all to look down in the direction which my body
was hanging and whiter I felt I must soon fall. I looked down anddid not believe my eyes. I was not only at a heightcomparable to
the height of the highest towers or mountains, but at a height suchas I could never have imagined.
I could not even make out whether I saw anything there below,in that bottomless abyss over which I was hanging and whiter I was
being drawn. My heart contracted, and I experiencedhorror. Tolook thither was terrible. If I looked thither I felt that I
should at once slip from the last support and perish. And I didnot look. But not to look was still worse, for I thought of what
would happen to me directly I fell from the last support. And Ifelt that from fear I was losing my last supports, and that my back
was slowly slipping lower and lower. Another moment and I shoulddrop off. And then it occurred to me that this cannot e real. It
is a dream. Wake up! I try to arouse myself but cannot do so. What am I to do? What am I to do? I ask myself, and look upwards.
Above, there is also an infinite space. I look into the immensityof sky and try to forget about the immensity below, and I really do
forget it. The immensity below repels and frightens me; theimmensity above attracts and strengthens me. I am still supported
above the abyss by the last supports that have not yet slipped fromunder me; I know that I am hanging, but I look only upwards and my
fear passes. As happens in dreams, a voice says: "Notice this,this is it!" And I look more and more into the infinite above me
and feel that I am becoming calm. I remember all that hashappened, and remember how it all happened; how I moved my legs,
how I hung down, how frightened I was, and how I was saved fromfear by looking upwards. And I ask myself: Well, and now am I not
hanging just the same? And I do not so much look round asexperience with my whole body the point of support on which I am
held. I see that I no longer hang as if about to fall, but amfirmly held. I ask myself how I am held: I feel about, look round,
and see that under me, under the middle of my body, there is onesupport, and that when I look upwards I lie on it in the position
of securest balance, and that it alone gave me support before. Andthen, as happens in dreams, I imagined the mechanism by means of
which I was held; a very natural intelligible, and sure means,though to one awake that mechanism has no sense. I was even
surprised in my dream that I had not understood it sooner. Itappeared that at my head there was a pillar, and the security of
that slenderpillar was undoubted though there was nothing tosupport it. From the pillar a loop hung very ingeniously and yet
simply, and if one lay with the middle of one's body in that loopand looked up, there could be no question of falling. This was all
clear to me, and I was glad and tranquil. And it seemed as ifsomeone said to me: "See that you remember."
And I awoke.End
that is done by men who profess Christianity, and I was horrified. XVI
And I ceased to doubt, and became fully convinced that not allwas true in the religion I had joined. Formerly I should have said
that it was all false, but I could not say so now. The whole ofthe people possessed a knowledge of the truth, for otherwise they
could not have lived. Moreover, that knowledge was accessible tome, for I had felt it and had lived by it. But I no longer doubted
that there was also falsehood in it. And all that had previouslyrepelled me now presented itself vividly before me. And though I
saw that among the peasants there was a smaller admixture of thelies that repelled me than among the representatives of the
Church, I still saw that in the people's belief also falsehood wasmingled with the truth.
But where did the truth and where did the falsehood come from? Both the falsehood and the truth were contained in the so-called
holy tradition and in the Scriptures. Both the falsehood and thetruth had been handed down by what is called the Church.
And whether I liked or not, I was brought to the study andinvestigation of these writings and traditions -- which till now I
had been so afraid to investigate. And I turned to the examination of that same theology which I
had once rejected with such contempt as unnecessary. Formerly itseemed to me a series of unnecessary absurdities, when on all sides
I was surrounded by manifestations of life which seemed to me clearand full of sense; now I should have been glad to throw away what
would not enter a health head, but I had nowhere to turn to. Onthis teaching religious doctrine rests, or at least with it the
only knowledge of the meaning of life that I have found isinseparably connected. However wild it may seem too my firm old
mind, it was the only hope of salvation. It had to be carefully,attentively examined in order to understand it, and not even to
understand it as I understand the propositions of science: I donot seek that, nor can I seek it, knowing the special character of
religious knowledge. I shall not seek the explanation ofeverything. I know that the explanation of everything, like the
commencement of everything, must be concealed in infinity. But Iwish to understand in a way which will bring me to what is
inevitably inexplicable. I wish to recognize anything that isinexplicable as being so not because the demands of my reason are
wrong (they are right, and apart from them I can understandnothing), but because I recognize the limits of my intellect. I
wish to understand in such a way that everything that isinexplicable shall present itself to me as being necessarily
inexplicable, and not as being something I am under an arbitraryobligation to believe.
That there is truth in the teaching is to me indubitable, butit is also certain that there is falsehood in it, and I must find
what is true and what is false, and must disentangle the one fromthe other. I am setting to work upon this task. What of falsehood
I have found in the teaching and what I have found of truth, and towhat conclusions I came, will form the following parts of this
work, which if it be worth it and if anyone wants it, will probablysome day be printed somewhere.
1879. The foregoing was written by me some three years ago, and will
be printed. Now a few days ago, when revising it and returning to the line
of thought and to the feelings I had when I was living through itall, I had a dream. This dream expressed in condensed form all
that I had experienced and described, and I think therefore that,for those who have understood me, a description of this dream will
refresh and elucidate and unify what has been set forth at suchlength in the foregoing pages. The dream was this:
I saw that I was lying on a bed. I was neither comfortablenor uncomfortable: I was lying on my back. But I began to consider
how, and on what, I was lying -- a question which had not till thenoccurred to me. And observing my bed, I saw I was lying on plaited
string supports attached to its sides: my feet were resting on onesuch support, by calves on another, and my legs felt uncomfortable.
I seemed to know that those supports were movable, and with amovement of my foot I pushed away the furthest of them at my feet -
- it seemed to me that it would be more comfortable so. But Ipushed it away too far and wished to reach it again with my foot,
and that movement caused the next support under my calves to slipaway also, so that my legs hung in the air. I made a movement with
my whole body to adjust myself, fully convinced that I could do soat once; but the movement caused the other supports under me to
slip and to become entangled, and I saw that matters were goingquite wrong: the whole of the lower part of my body slipped and
hung down, though my feet did not reach the ground. I was holdingon only by the upper part of my back, and not only did it become
uncomfortable but I was even frightened. And then only did I askmyself about something that had not before occurred to me. I asked
myself: Where am I and what am I lying on? and I began to lookaround and first of all to look down in the direction which my body
was hanging and whiter I felt I must soon fall. I looked down anddid not believe my eyes. I was not only at a heightcomparable to
the height of the highest towers or mountains, but at a height suchas I could never have imagined.
I could not even make out whether I saw anything there below,in that bottomless abyss over which I was hanging and whiter I was
being drawn. My heart contracted, and I experiencedhorror. Tolook thither was terrible. If I looked thither I felt that I
should at once slip from the last support and perish. And I didnot look. But not to look was still worse, for I thought of what
would happen to me directly I fell from the last support. And Ifelt that from fear I was losing my last supports, and that my back
was slowly slipping lower and lower. Another moment and I shoulddrop off. And then it occurred to me that this cannot e real. It
is a dream. Wake up! I try to arouse myself but cannot do so. What am I to do? What am I to do? I ask myself, and look upwards.
Above, there is also an infinite space. I look into the immensityof sky and try to forget about the immensity below, and I really do
forget it. The immensity below repels and frightens me; theimmensity above attracts and strengthens me. I am still supported
above the abyss by the last supports that have not yet slipped fromunder me; I know that I am hanging, but I look only upwards and my
fear passes. As happens in dreams, a voice says: "Notice this,this is it!" And I look more and more into the infinite above me
and feel that I am becoming calm. I remember all that hashappened, and remember how it all happened; how I moved my legs,
how I hung down, how frightened I was, and how I was saved fromfear by looking upwards. And I ask myself: Well, and now am I not
hanging just the same? And I do not so much look round asexperience with my whole body the point of support on which I am
held. I see that I no longer hang as if about to fall, but amfirmly held. I ask myself how I am held: I feel about, look round,
and see that under me, under the middle of my body, there is onesupport, and that when I look upwards I lie on it in the position
of securest balance, and that it alone gave me support before. Andthen, as happens in dreams, I imagined the mechanism by means of
which I was held; a very natural intelligible, and sure means,though to one awake that mechanism has no sense. I was even
surprised in my dream that I had not understood it sooner. Itappeared that at my head there was a pillar, and the security of
that slenderpillar was undoubted though there was nothing tosupport it. From the pillar a loop hung very ingeniously and yet
simply, and if one lay with the middle of one's body in that loopand looked up, there could be no question of falling. This was all
clear to me, and I was glad and tranquil. And it seemed as ifsomeone said to me: "See that you remember."
And I awoke.End
- helpless [´helpləs]
a.无助的，无依靠的 (初中英语单词) - formerly [´fɔ:məli] ad.从前，以前 (初中英语单词)
- otherwise [´ʌðəwaiz] ad.另外 conj.否则 (初中英语单词)
- moreover [mɔ:´rəuvə] ad.再者，此外，而且 (初中英语单词)
- belief [bi´li:f] n.相信；信仰，信条 (初中英语单词)
- tradition [trə´diʃən] n.传统；惯例；传说 (初中英语单词)
- examination [ig,zæmi´neiʃən] n.检查；考试；检验 (初中英语单词)
- series [´siəri:z] n.连续；系列；丛书 (初中英语单词)
- doctrine [´dɔktrin] n.教义；主义；学说 (初中英语单词)
- knowing [´nəuiŋ] a.会意的，心照不宣的 (初中英语单词)
- character [´kæriktə] n.特性；性质；人物；字 (初中英语单词)
- explanation [,eksplə´neiʃən] n.解释；说明；辩解 (初中英语单词)
- therefore [´ðeəfɔ:] ad.&conj.因此；所以 (初中英语单词)
- description [di´skripʃən] n.描写 (初中英语单词)
- movement [´mu:vmənt] n.活动；运动；动作 (初中英语单词)
- adjust [ə´dʒʌst] vt.调整；校准；使适应 (初中英语单词)
- height [hait] n.高度；顶点；卓越 (初中英语单词)
- horror [´hɔrə] n.恐怖；战栗 (初中英语单词)
- thither [´ðiðə] ad.到那里 a.那边的 (初中英语单词)
- perish [´periʃ] v.灭亡；消灭；(使)死去 (初中英语单词)
- arouse [ə´rauz] vt.唤醒，唤起；激起 (初中英语单词)
- security [si´kjuəriti] n.安全；证券；抵押品 (初中英语单词)
- slender [´slendə] a.细长的；微薄的 (初中英语单词)
- profess [prə´fes] v.声称；讲授 (高中英语单词)
- christianity [,kristi´æniti] n.基督教；基督精神 (高中英语单词)
- falsehood [´fɔ:lshud] n.错误；撒谎 (高中英语单词)
- investigate [in´vestigeit] v.调查(研究) (高中英语单词)
- contempt [kən´tempt] n.轻蔑；受辱；不顾 (高中英语单词)
- nowhere [´nəuweə] n.无处；不知道 (高中英语单词)
- salvation [sæl´veiʃən] n.救助；拯救 (高中英语单词)
- uncomfortable [ʌn´kʌmftəbəl] a.不舒服的，不自在的 (高中英语单词)
- hanging [´hæŋiŋ] n.绞刑 a.悬挂着的 (高中英语单词)
- infinite [´infinit] a.无限的，无穷的 (高中英语单词)
- pillar [´pilə] n.支柱 vt.用柱支持 (高中英语单词)
- lesser [´lesə] a.较小的；次要的 (英语四级单词)
- accessible [ək´sesəbəl] a.易接近的；可到达的 (英语四级单词)
- theology [θi´ɔlədʒi] n.神学 (英语四级单词)
- intellect [´intilekt] n.智力；有才智的人 (英语四级单词)
- setting [´setiŋ] n.安装；排字；布景 (英语四级单词)
- experienced [ik´spiəriənst] a.有经验的；熟练的 (英语四级单词)
- calves [kɑ:vz] calf的复数 (英语四级单词)
- comparable [´kɔmpərəbəl] a.可比较的；类似的 (英语四级单词)
- upwards [´ʌpwədz] ad.=upward (英语四级单词)
- mechanism [´mekənizəm] n.机械装置；机制 (英语四级单词)
- vividly [´vividli] ad.活泼地；生动地 (英语六级单词)
- inexplicable [,inik´splikəbəl] a.难以理解的 (英语六级单词)
- foregoing [´fɔ:gəuiŋ] a.在前的，上述的 (英语六级单词)
- contracted [kən´træktid] a.收缩了的；缩略的 (英语六级单词)
- tranquil [´træŋkwil] a.平静的，稳定的 (英语六级单词)
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章节正文
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