difficult to guess. He took some plate himself this morning to
the melting-pot, and I saw him at Daddy Gobseck's in the Rue des
Gres. And now, mark what follows--he came back here, and gave a
letter for the Comtesse de Restaud to that noodle of a
Christophe, who showed us the address; there was a receipted bill
inside it. It is clear that it was an
urgent matter if the
Countess also went herself to the old money lender. Father Goriot
has financed her handsomely. There is no need to tack a tale
together; the thing is self-evident. So that shows you, sir
student, that all the time your Countess was smiling, dancing,
flirting, swaying her peach-flower crowned head, with her gown
gathered into her hand, her slippers were pinching her, as they
say; she was thinking of her protested bills, or her lover's
protested bills."
"You have made me wild to know the truth," cried Eugene; "I will
go to call on Mme. de Restaud to-morrow."
"Yes," echoed Poiret; "you must go and call on Mme. de Restaud."
"And perhaps you will find Father Goriot there, who will take
payment for the
assistance he
politely rendered."
Eugene looked disgusted. "Why, then, this Paris of yours is a
slough."
"And an
uncommonly queer slough, too," replied Vautrin. "The mud
splashes you as you drive through it in your carriage--you are a
respectable person; you go afoot and are splashed--you are a
scoundrel. You are so
unlucky as to walk off with something or
other belonging to somebody else, and they
exhibit you as a
curiosity in the Place du Palais-de-Justice; you steal a million,
and you are
pointed out in every salon as a model of
virtue. And
you pay thirty millions for the police and the courts of justice,
for the
maintenance of law and order! A pretty slate of things it
is!"
"What," cried Mme. Vauquer, "has Father Goriot really melted down
his silver posset-dish?"
"There were two turtle-doves on the lid, were there not?" asked
Eugene.
"Yes, that there were."
"Then, was he fond of it?" said Eugene. "He cried while he was
breaking up the cup and plate. I happened to see him by
accident."
"It was dear to him as his own life," answered the widow.
"There! you see how infatuated the old fellow is!" cried Vautrin.
"The woman yonder can coax the soul out of him"
The student went up to his room. Vautrin went out, and a few
moments later Mme. Couture and Victorine drove away in a cab
which Sylvie had called for them. Poiret gave his arm to Mlle.
Michonneau, and they went together to spend the two sunniest
hours of the day in the Jardin des Plantes.
"Well, those two are as good as married," was the portly Sylvie's
comment. "They are going out together to-day for the first time.
They are such a couple of dry sticks that if they happen to
strike against each other they will draw sparks like flint and
steel."
"Keep clear of Mlle. Michonneau's shawl, then, said Mme. Vauquer,
laughing; "it would flare up like tinder."
At four o'clock that evening, when Goriot came in, he saw, by the
light of two smoky lamps, that Victorine's eyes were red. Mme.
Vauquer was listening to the history of the visit made that
morning to M. Taillefer; it had been made in vain. Taillefer was
tired of the
annualapplication made by his daughter and her
elderly friend; he gave them a personal
interview in order to
arrive at an understanding with them.
"My dear lady," said Mme. Couture, addressing Mme. Vauquer, "just
imagine it; he did not even ask Victorine to sit down, she was
standing the whole time. He said to me quite
coolly, without
putting himself in a
passion, that we might spare ourselves the
trouble of going there; that the young lady (he would not call
her his daughter) was injuring her cause by importuning him
(IMPORTUNING! once a year, the wretch!); that as Victorine's
mother had nothing when he married her, Victorine ought not to
expect anything from him; in fact, he said the most cruel things,
that made the poor child burst out crying. The little thing threw
herself at her father's feet and spoke up
bravely; she said that
she only persevered in her visits for her mother's sake; that she
would obey him without a murmur, but that she begged him to read
her poor dead mother's
farewell letter. She took it up and gave
it to him,
saying the most beautiful things in the world, most
beautifully expressed; I do not know where she
learned them; God
must have put them into her head, for the poor child was inspired
to speak so
nicely that it made me cry like a fool to hear her
talk. And what do you think the
monster was doing all the time?
Cutting his nails! He took the letter that poor Mme. Taillefer
had soaked with tears, and flung it on to the chimney-piece.
'That is all right,' he said. He held out his hands to raise his
daughter, but she covered them with kisses, and he drew them away
again. Scandalous, isn't it? And his great booby of a son came in
and took no notice of his sister."
"What inhuman wretches they must be!" said Father Goriot.
"And then they both went out of the room," Mme. Couture went on,
without heeding the
worthy vermicelli maker's exclamation;
"father and son bowed to me, and asked me to excuse them on
account of
urgent business! That is the history of our call.
Well, he has seen his daughter at any rate. How he can refuse to
acknowledge her I cannot think, for they are as alike as two
peas."
The boarders dropped in one after another, interchanging
greetings and empty jokes that certain classes of Parisians
regard as
humorous and witty. Dulness is their prevailing
ingredient, and the whole point consists in mispronouncing a word
or a
gesture. This kind of argot is always changing. The essence
of the jest consists in some catchword suggested by a political
event, an
incident in the police courts, a street song, or a bit
of
burlesque at some theatre, and forgotten in a month. Anything
and everything serves to keep up a game of battledore and
shuttlecock with words and ideas. The diorama, a recent
invention, which carried an optical
illusion a degree further
than panoramas, had given rise to a mania among art students for
ending every word with RAMA. The Maison Vauquer had caught the
infection from a young artist among the boarders.
"Well, Monsieur-r-r Poiret," said the
employe from the Museum,
"how is your health-orama?" Then, without
waiting for an answer,
he turned to Mme. Couture and Victorine with a "Ladies, you seem
melancholy."
"Is dinner ready?" cried Horace Bianchon, a
medical student, and
a friend of Rastignac's; "my
stomach is sinking usque ad
talones."
"There is an
uncommon frozerama outside," said Vautrin. "Make
room there, Father Goriot! Confound it, your foot covers the
whole front of the stove."
"Illustrious M. Vautrin," put in Bianchon, "why do you say
frozerama? It is
incorrect; it should be frozenrama."
"No, it shouldn't," said the official from the Museum; "frozerama
is right by the same rule that you say 'My feet are froze.' "
"Ah! ah!"
"Here is his Excellency the Marquis de Rastignac, Doctor of the
Law of Contraries," cried Bianchon, seizing Eugene by the throat,
and almost throttling him.
"Hallo there! hallo!"
Mlle. Michonneau came
noiselessly in, bowed to the rest of the
party, and took her place beside the three women without
saying a
word.
"That old bat always makes me shudder," said Bianchon in a low
voice, indicating Mlle. Michonneau to Vautrin. "I have studied
Gall's
system, and I am sure she has the bump of Judas."
"Then you have seen a case before?" said Vautrin.
"Who has not?" answered Bianchon. "Upon my word, that
ghastly old
maid looks just like one of the long worms that will gnaw a beam
through, give them time enough."
"That is the way, young man," returned he of the forty years and
the dyed whiskers:
"The rose has lived the life of a rose--
A morning's space."
"Aha! here is a
magnificent soupe-au-rama," cried Poiret as
Christophe came in
bearing the soup with
cautious heed.
"I beg your
pardon, sir," said Mme. Vauquer; "it is soupe aux
choux."
All the young men roared with
laughter.
"Had you there, Poiret!"
"Poir-r-r-rette! she had you there!"
"Score two points to Mamma Vauquer," said Vautrin.
"Did any of you notice the fog this morning?" asked the official.
"It was a
frantic fog," said Bianchon, "a fog unparalleled,
doleful,
melancholy, sea-green, asthmatical--a Goriot of a fog!"
"A Goriorama," said the art student, "because you couldn't see a
thing in it."
"Hey! Milord Gaoriotte, they air talking about yoo-o-ou!"
Father Goriot, seated at the lower end of the table, close to the
door through which the servant entered, raised his face; he had
smelt at a scrap of bread that lay under his table
napkin, an old
trick acquired in his
commercialcapacity, that still showed
itself at times.
"Well," Madame Vauquer cried in sharp tones, that rang above the
rattle of spoons and plates and the sound of other voices, "and
is there anything the matter with the bread?"
"Nothing
whatever, madame," he answered; "on the
contrary, it is
made of the best quality of corn; flour from Etampes."
"How could you tell?" asked Eugene.
"By the color, by the
flavor."
"You knew the
flavor by the smell, I suppose," said Mme. Vauquer.
"You have grown so
economical, you will find out how to live on
the smell of cooking at last."
"Take out a
patent for it, then," cried the Museum official; "you
would make a handsome fortune."
"Never mind him," said the artist; "he does that sort of thing to
delude us into thinking that he was a vermicelli maker."
"Your nose is a corn-sampler, it appears?" inquired the official.
"Corn WHAT?" asked Bianchon.
"Corn-el."
"Corn-et."
"Corn-elian."
"Corn-ice."
"Corn-ucopia."
"Corn-crake."
"Corn-cockle."
"Corn-orama."
The eight responses came like a rolling fire from every part of
the room, and the
laughter that followed was the more uproarious
because poor Father Goriot stared at the others with a puzzled
look, like a
foreignertrying to catch the meaning of words in a
language which he does not understand.
"Corn? . . ." he said, turning to Vautrin, his next neighbor.
"Corn on your foot, old man!" said Vautrin, and he drove Father
Goriot's cap down over his eyes by a blow on the crown.
The poor old man thus suddenly attacked was for a moment too
bewildered to do anything. Christophe carried off his plate,
thinking that he had finished his soup, so that when Goriot had
pushed back his cap from his eyes his spoon encountered the
table. Every one burst out laughing. "You are a disagreeable
joker, sir," said the old man, "and if you take any further
liberties with me----"
"Well, what then, old boy?" Vautrin interrupted.
"Well, then, you shall pay
dearly for it some day----"